HANGOVER HELL

Happy Monday! In case you had a little too much fun this weekend and need a little sympathy giggle, check out the Six Circles of Hangover Hell from Modern Drunkard magazine online. Here's # 4:

4th Circle: The Hunchback of Cheap Champagne

You have lost the will to live. Your head is throbbing. You can't speak too quickly or you’ll punctuate your sentences with vomit. Your boss has already lambasted you for being late and reeking of booze. The clothes you put on won’t win you any fashion awards and your face looks like a golf green mowed by a blind junkie (ladies, it looks like you applied your make-up with a shotgun). Your eyes are red enough to give your features a lizardish cast and your hair makes your coworkers ask if you’re starting up a new wave band. You vaguely remember doing some really dumb and embarrassing things last night and you don’t care. You would murder your favorite bartender for a foot-long Bratwurst smothered with dijon and fried onions.

READ THE REST: MODERNDRUNKARD

Other articles on THE MODERN DRUNKARD include LADIES THIRST, about legendary female drunkards and an article which asks "Are drunks hiding from reality, or changing it?"