PARTY DOLL

I'm in "going out mode", so despite the crippling heat yesterday I went to the Arcadia Gallery in Soho for the launch of the RuPaul doll. Talk about a hot party! No air conditioning in August??? Oh, those wacky art galleries! Muffled music and waiters with cupakes didn't help the vibe, but the focus was Ru's new product. That doll looks just like her! (I say "her", but Ru was there out of drag in a suit.) I've seen many celebrity dolls and thought "Where's the resemblance?", bu designer Jason Wu nailed Ru's gorgeous face in 3 different outfits, the showgirl-one from Supermodel, the red patent one from her MAC ad, and her newer Beyonce meets Shakira casual effect. Sexy photographer Mike Ruiz has shot the dolls in provocative poses--he's the guy who shot Ru's fun video for LOOKING GOOD, FEELING GORGEOUS--and so you can still catch the exhibit there.

I made my entrance with Paul Alexander (of The Ones and Jackie 60 fame) and upon seeing the dolls and the enthusiastic if half-baked turn-out, I was so consumed with excitement/jealousy that in a fit of dementia, I grabbed the doll and pretended to strangle it and bite off it's head, much to the paparazzi's delight. Hopefully, the shots will turn up somewhere, because I really threw myself into the role of a bitter hag who was green with envy at a friend's success. "Acting" has always come naturally to me.

I worked a new look--kind of Holly-Go-Lightly-Meets-Hazel--which showcased some sickening new costume jewelry from Dallas's Dragon Lady. I felt a black matte glove would best highlight my enormous rhinestone with pendulous pearls Vegas-y ring, but unfortunately, my glove was torn at the wrist and my whitey-white skin showed through. With Mike Ruiz pulling up in a limo around the corner at any moment, what was a girl who can't sew a stitch to do? I had to think fast. I grabbed a black Sharpie tm and colored in the skin which peeped through the holes. I truly was part black. This "beauty" secret is so booger-y that it ranks right up there with a few of my favorite drag tricks like Mona Foote spraying anti-perspirant over her whole mug to kep from sweating and Suzanne Bartsch, unable to undo her elaborately laced corsets, peeing right through her hose at the Copa Cabana. Someone once asked, "Isn't Suzanne concerned about the smell?" and a sick freak (other than me) replied "Maybe it hid the smell of her cunt."

The Ru doll's slogan is 99% Plastic, 1% Woman, and I may borrow that for my own doll and change it to 99% Spastic. Because Ru is a tranny, the press release says this doll is a first. But as I informed Ru, there has already been an entire LINE of troll dolls. Besides, didn't blonde, black transvestite Flip Wilson have a doll as the brilliantly sassy Geraldine? I know I have a Geraldine hand puppet hanging on my wall at home.

Seen: Flotilla Debarge, Candis Cayne and her hunky husband dj Marco, Zhana Saunders (aka Inda Matrix), Trenton Straube (HX) and Gregory T. Angelo (Next), Michael Paoletta (Billboard's dance columnist), Peter Albertelli from Fly Life, Thom Storr from Artemis Records, High Voltage, LOGO's Michael Braden, porn star/promoter Aaron Tanner, Therapy's Scott Nevins and a few unidentified young blond trannies, one with a poodle and a well-executed Farrah do!

Speaking of cunts, I then bounced over to a roof-top shindig for Periel Aschenbrand to celebrate the publication of her THE ONLY BUSH I TRUST IS MY OWN--she made a t-shirt line withthe same title--on Penguin Books. Can someone please ditch the idea of un-airconditioned or outdoors anything in August? Oops! Except Wigstock, of course. Crank up the a/c--I'm in a girdle, dammit! (And I have the nerve to moan over global warming in a previous blog entry!) Periel was elated that she'd sold out earlier at an in-store at Barnes and Noble. I got an advance copy a few months ago and it really is worth a read. She's funny, filthy, and caustic.

Popped into Lips on the way home and chatted with Jesse Volt and good time gal Frankie. Then packed for Chicago with Lady Kier ("Beedlee dee dee dee, two ladies") and then onto LA for this Pamela Anderson roast taping. Other roasters include Courtney Love and Bea Arthur and Comedy Central has even put my bio up on their site:

http://www.comedycentral.com/shows/roast_anderson/bios/
roastee/lady_bunny.jhtml

The excitement is building and I cannot believe that Charo, Miss "Cuchi-Cuchi" herself, will be in attendance! I would kill to meet her and hopefully she'll attend the after-party. She was guest-starring in an off-B'way play called Pete and Keely and she came out into the aisles and touched my outstretched hand! (I removed her ring) I squealed just like an 8 year old schoolgirl! I know what you're thinking. How could Bunny possibly know what an 8 year old school girl feels like--she never went to school!