FUN ARTICLE BY ADAM MCKAY

Wet Hot American Summer: Bushie Style

So W Bush's approval rating has dipped to 42%. To give you an idea of how low that is, scabies gets a 36% approval rating and banging your elbow bone on a marble table edge gets a 32%. Heck, even the Devil gets a 4%.


I think Cheney just scored a 9% (note: poll results reflect a margin of error of plus or minus fifty percent except the initial 42% one, which is real). The only people still supporting W and these evil goofs are the Brit Hume fan club and people who worry that if they admit they were wrong Al Franken gets some kind of bonus commission ipod or trip to Cancun.

That's right, finally after six years America is waking up to this ridiculously corrupt, secretive and arrogant administration. The reality of what these guys have done can no longer be fudged. The invasion/liberation of Iraq is a disaster, the trade deficit and oil prices are skyrocketing, numbers and facts have been altered and corporate lobbyists now swarm over and through our government like rats over an untended salad bar... Not to mention the fact that due to their politicking our country is more divided than it's been since people rode horses to work and treated broken bones with butter and leeches. If this all keeps up pretty soon FOX News will have to start airing reruns from five years ago to keep alive the myth that the corporate-backed right isn't ripping our country apart and off.

So what does Bush Jr. do in the face of this collapsing house of lies and ineptitude? He rides his bike.

Let me say that again. With support for his administration falling fast and American troops engaged in a crazily complicated war that requires 24/7 diplomacy, managing and oversight, our president has gone back to his fake ranch to ride his bike.

Now before the Bush zealots jump all over me for distorting facts, let me be more specific: he's also clearing brush.

Since he's been in office, Bush Jr. has had almost 400 days at his play ranch in Crawford. I make silly comedies for a living and I haven't had 400 days off total in my whole life. This guy is the president, and he is riding his bike like a seven year old who just figured out it makes a cool sound when you put baseball cards in your wheel spokes.

And George Jr. isn't just vacationing. He's vacationing mad. You know, like when people drive mad? "Well then fine! Let's just go to the store!" And then the person goes 110 in a 25 zone while insisting everything’s all right. Well George W is vacationing mad. "You think my war is a mess? Well I'm going to Crawford to ride bikes and I don't care what you say!" "You think I made a terrible appointment in sending Bolton to the U.N.? I don’t care... I'm going to Texas and I'm not even wearing a tie! So screw you all!"
George W Bush may be the first president ever who you can honestly describe as petulant.

But George's vacation isn't all idyllic little league games and bicycle rides against sun-rimmed Texan horizon lines. All vacations have their spoilers. Occasionally there are mosquitoes or rain showers or the mother of a dead Army soldier living on your lawn. What a drag that must be. Imagine you're the leader of the most powerful nation in the world. You start a war based on manipulated intelligence -- or, as some people call them, lies. Now thousands are dying because of your hubris and deceit. Rather than face up to the problem you go for an extended vacation to Texas to ride your bicycle. But then the mother of one of the boys you basically sent to their death comes and lives on your lawn! Talk about your Shakespearian hijinks! Only instead of "out damn spot" it's "away damn brush!" or "ride damn bicycle!"

Here's what I say we do. I think anyone who has a problem with this war should go down to Texas and join Ms. Sheehan. I think there’s nothing more relaxing then sleeping in your ranch with the sounds of 300,000 people snoring outside your window. And I think all 300,000 should demand a speech explaining what we're going to do about this bloody mess. And then there must be questions.

And then, if all that goes down and we've really got some answers, then and only then, we can all ride bikes.