ZSA ZSA UPDATE!

I worship Zsa Zsa. The name says it all: playful, exotic glamour! She makes me want to get a nose job and wear diamonds. I loved Eva, too, whose feathered ensembles on GREEN ACRES drove me out of my mind as a kid. But Zsa Zsa's nose was cut smaller and pointier than Eva's, and her haughty manner and kooky accent were a perfect vehicle for her humor. She lit those talk shows up! I recently caught her great-niece Paris's appearance on some daytime talk show. She sauntered out, waved half-heartedly, and smiled blankly. Within a few moments, she described something as "hot" in a bored voice. The studio audience practically beat the walls in approval. I don't get it. Zsa Zsa worked the same rich, blonde schtick but with great delivery and probably great writers. Here are a few of her classic bon mots.

A girl must marry for love, and keep on marrying until she finds it.

A man in love is incomplete until he he is married. Then he's finished.

Getting divorced just because you don't love a man is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.

Husbands are like fires--they go out when unattended.

How many husbands have I had? You mean apart from my own?

I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.

I never hated a man enough to give him diamonds back.

If I would believe what I read about myself, I would hate my guts too.

I want a man who's kind and understanding. Is that too much to ask of a millionaire?

Macho does not prove mucho.

Personally I know nothing about sex because I've always been married.

To a smart girl men are no problem -- they're the answer.

I own an old 1960's Carol Channing comedy album on which she jokes that the Gabor sisters were in the audience, and that everyone has to laugh at every one of her jokes or the Gabors will come and hit them. Could this have been the blueprint for Zsa Zsa famous cop-slapping? Recycled shtick from the 60's? How genius and insane if that's true! Slapping your way into the headlines??? I love it, and the cop did turn out to be a wannabe actor, so who knows if the whole thing was staged. Although if it was, I doubt if Zsa Zsa-kins would have a flask in her front seat when arranging to be "apprehended." But why would she stage this? She hadn't yet come out with her work-out video. Who knows.

But one of my fav Gabor moments was a 90's tiff with 60's sexpot Elke Sommer. Zsa Zsa, who married a German nobleman, was in Deutschland riding a horse for some publicity stunt. Elke, who lives there, quipped that she felt sorry for the horse. (Zsa did get a little heavy.) Zsa Zsa and her hubby tore into Elke, claiming that she was a balding grandmother so poor that she was selling homemade beer steins at a local pub for a living. OUCH! Elke sued and won over a million.

Just the other day, Lypsinka was tickling me with one of Zsa Zsa's classic lines from QUEEN OF OUTER SPACE: "Von move and I'll keel you!" So naturally I was dismayed to learn that

Actress Zsa Zsa Gabor Suffers Stroke in L.A.

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Hungarian-born actress and socialite Zsa Zsa Gabor
suffered a stroke and underwent surgery in a Los Angeles hospital to remove a
blockage to an artery, her husband said on Thursday.

"She is recovering right now, and we have to see," Frederic von Anhalt told
Reuters. "The doctors are very optimistic that she will recover. The operation
was successful."

The stroke was the second suffered by Gabor, who was also the victim of a 2002
car accident that left her briefly hospitalized with head injuries.

Gabor, who is believed to be in her 80s, came to the United States with her
sisters and mother just before World War II. She became famous for her glamour,
wit and temper in a career that thrived on her luxury-loving persona and
penchant for calling everyone "Darling."

Her movie career began with mainstream films such as "Lili" and "Moulin Rouge,"
both in 1953, before slipping into camp favorites such as "Queen of Outer Space"
in 1958 and "Won Ton Ton, the Dog Who Saved Hollywood" in 1983.

The German-born von Anhalt, who is the Duke of Saxony, is Gabor's eighth
husband. The couple married in 1986.

In 2002, Gabor was admitted to a Los Angeles hospital with serious injuries
when a car driven by her hair stylist struck a light pole on Hollywood's Sunset
Boulevard.

In an incident she later parodied on screen, Gabor was also convicted of
slapping a motorcycle policeman who pulled her over in 1989 because the Rolls
Royce she was driving had an out-of-date license.

Gabor lists her birthday as Feb. 7 but has always refused to reveal the year of
her birth, believed to be from 1921 to 1923.