July 15, 2005


Terrific special effects in WAR OF THE WORLDS! They've actually managed to program Tom Snooze to appear human, even straight! This movie sucks as hard as Tom wishes he could. Admittedly great effects and art direction can't mask up for the rotten script and acting. And the plot/screenplay! It doesn't allow you to connect with story in any way. It's just doomsday, doomsday, doomsday with a last minute patch-up crappy ending. And such unlikeable characters! When the cute widdle baby girl whispers, after an explosion, "Are we dead yet?", the audience of 10 shouted "I hope so!" Or what about the scene when she wants big daddy Tom to sing her a lullaby but he doesn't know her first 2 requests? I hollered out "IT'S RAINING MEN!" cuz I bet he knows every word. Can't take me anywhere.

Obviously, early market research yielded lackluster results and the studio needed some hype to sell this crap. Hence, we have the Katie/Tom relationship--surprise, surprise!--SHE has a big movie out at the same time and is in need of a makeover (yucch! there's that word again!) to shed her DAWSON'S CREEK wholesome image and switch to full-grown siren. I actually hung out with her a few years ago and she seemed really sweet. She came to Wigstock at the height of DAWSON'S popularity and HX mag crucified her for not wanting to pose for pix. So they claimed that she had scarfed down all the performer's snacks! Doubtful. But they'd be more likely to satisfy her than Tom. They may be in love, but I imagine he'd have more fantasies about another famous Holmes--JOHN!

I wouldn't waste a dime on this crapola. It certainly won't join the classic status of the book or original film, which I admit, I'm not too familiar with. Maybe the new version is great if you know them better than I.

But I do fondly remember a WAR OF THE WORLDS disco song or even whole album that was played in England in the late 70's. Disco and outer space went hand in hand and even Sarah Brightman recorded a schmaltzily fun single (her first?) called I LOST MY HEART TO A STARSHIP TROOPER. I doubt if she performs it much these days.


Blogger mickeyitaliano said...

Let me preface that I'ze lubbs you, but what the hell prompted you to see this claptrap film (although I was delighted to hear that only 10 others were in the audience). You seem like a "Happy Endings" kinda gal to me.


3:31 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Someone summed up W of the W movie for me...

" Its all about the TEEEEEEEEETH "

12:44 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I put a very similar view in a forum and was flamed by almost everyone! How do you get away with this?I'm gonna have to start wearing drag!

5:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

A blind man walked past the fish market and said, "Good Evening,ladies."

Just like Tom Jews' and K.D. Lang's "War of the Twirls" you don't have to see the stinker to smell a stink.

12:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This film is populated with "victims" before the martians start shooting!

Dad's a victim of his boss and ex. The kids are victims. The wife's a victim....Aaaaargh!

It's bad enough he has to save his screaming ten year old brat from the martians, but that he has to protect her from seeing things that might cause distress? Puhleeeeze! What a load of H'wood day-care crap! If the martians start shooting, your kids better be aware of everything that's going on: it's survival education. If they can't handle it, chalk it up to darwinism!

Being familiar with the book only makes things worse: HG Wells wrote it to get Victorian England to reflect on its imperialist "victories". Kind of like "How would you like it if YOU'd be attacked by technolically more advanced beings?"

The fact that Spielberg wants to draw a parallel with 9/11 (by having the machines already in place but dormant -and seemingly able to escape the attention of whoever built the sewers of the town- for centuries) is apalling. The parallel should be to compare the martians with the Americn military bravely destroying mud huts using megabuck high tech missiles.

Wether it's book, Radio play or 50s movie, all previous versions of the stroy are better- period!

Enjoy your trip to Montreal, honey!

7:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Or better still, "Wart of the Worlds"

4:01 PM  
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