MASSIVE BEAVER CAMPAIGN!

Pamela Anderson is a woman of many talents. Not only can she double as a flotation device in the event of a water landing, but she's a loyal friend to furry creatures great and small.

"People who wear fur smell like a wet dog and they look fat and gross," the hypermammiferous bombshell writes in Jane magazine. "They look really immature and unenlightened."

Pam isn't afraid to call out these supposedly zaftig-looking stinky pelt wearers by name, singling out some high-profile exes who have both faced criticism for designing fashion lines filled with hirsute pieces.

"Every season the furriers put propaganda everywhere that fur is taking off again and they give free coats to idiots like Jennifer Lopez and Puff Daddy," rails the "Stacked" star. "It makes me nauseous."

It's not exactly giving People for the Ethical Treatment for Animals the warm and fuzzies, either. The critter-loving group is ramping up their campaign against Lopez by targeting her make-or-break movie, "Monster-in-Law."

"J. Lo's next movie may well be a remake of 'Escape from L.A.' PETA has her in our sights," vice-president Dan Mathews tells the New York Post. "On April 29, we'll be waiting for her outside Jay Leno's 'Tonight' show studios at 4 p.m. with a 30-foot beaver with a banner saying 'Fur -- Leave It to Beaver.'"

BUT WAIT! I THOUGHT PAM'S STRETCHED BEAVER WAS ONLY 25 FEET!