The Night Larry Kramer Dissed Me--and all the rest of you faggots!

Last Sunday featured the most gorgeous weather ever. I strolled down to the piers, and as the sun shone down and the fall breeze tickled the trees playfully, I thought to myself, "See, there are still some things in life worth living for after Bush's victory. Before I got caught up in an election frenzy of emails and CNN I could take the time to enjoy a beautiful day--and I still can." But not for long. Not with Larry Kramer's speech THE TRAGEDY OF TODAY'S GAYS beckoning to me from Cooper Union. I longed to escape the sunshine and hook into someone who could voice my bitterness more eloquently than I. Larry did not disappoint. I urge you all to read his entire speech online at www.rodneycroome.id.au/other/0/, but here is my attempt to sum up the major points of a long speech in a short article.

I wasn't involved in ACT UP so I wasn't too familiar with Mr. Kramer. I knew he'd kissed David Drake, but who hasn't kissed that slut? I'd been warned that he was very angry and extreme. I must be too, since I agreed with every bitter, truthful word he had to say. His basic message to gays? You are just too fucked by this election, and you're just too fucked UP with crystal, barebacking and apathy to confront your attackers, the conservative right. A "vast right-wing conspiracy" was hatched in 1971 by Lewis Powell and financed by 9 rich families who were scared of hippies, war protesters, and civil rights activists. The right saw their safe, conservative world crumbling and began to implement a highly organized plan to reinstate it. On November 3rd, after 35 years, the plan was successful and the conservative president, congress and supreme court are now poised to turn back the clock on civil rights to defeat any gains gays, women, blacks or even dissenters have made. "The people (this plan) was written for did not then go off to a disco or to the Pines, or into therapy or into drugs. They took the plan and they have executed it religiously every day and night for the last 35 years, initially with 400 mllion dollars... and some back-breaking, grinding, unglamorous work of civic engagements county by county...They took the richest and most liberal nation in the world" and transformed it so that now 30% of Americans self-identify as conservatives, as opposed to 10% in 1971. And make no mistake. They hate us and they are in a position of complete power.

And where is our plan to combat them? In a shambles, as are we. "Our organizations stink" and are either powerless an or on the verge of financial collapse. When will the rich and powerful gays step up to help? We can't count on the government because they hate us and are glad that we're doing ourselves in with AIDS and crystal. We're murdering each other by not using condoms. We know that unprotected sex causes AIDS and yet new infections are up 40%. If we know how to prevent it and we aren't, then we are bringing the AIDS crisis onto ourselves and are refusing to accept responsibility for it. "Has it never occurred to you that not using a condom is tantamount to murder? It is incredibly selfish not to at least have thought that question...make whatever excuses you can to carry on in your state of denial, but this is the fact of the matter." In an extremely poignant moment Larry pondered "Was it my sperm that killed them, that did the trick? It is no longer possible for me to avoid the question of myself. Have you ever wondered how many men you have killed?" Instead of considering this crucial question, we deny each other's humanity and define each other as sex objects, shallow whores who are only looking for the next piece of meat. We're bright and talented but our efforts are focused primarily on partying and sex. "I have recently come to believe that gay men and women are tragic people. We are so wonderful, but we are so fucked up." Our brightness isn't being put to use. "How much public service on behalf of your brothers and sisters have you performed recently? Don't tell me you don't know what to do...if you can find another ass to fuck."

We've lost the war against AIDS with over 70 million expected to die worldwide. But gay youth are in a state of denial and don't want to learn the lessons of their elders. Larry lashed out at the notion that protease inhibitors are any sort of cure. "We like to call it 'the cocktail'." But it's chemotherapy, which either kills the disease or you, and is very difficult to take, with many side effects. "And you say, 'Can't I get stoned and try barebacking one last time?' ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND? You kids want to die...well, then die." Hell, youth won't even acknowledge their elders, and how can they have any sense of community without any sense of their past? "Every moral code I know of requires respect for the dead. You disdain anyone older who was there...but you do not seem able to fashion your future. To discover what you want. You don't even ask what you want. How can you not have curiosity about your future as a gay person?...I had people to follow and many of you have not. No baton was passed to you...A large, congealed mass of potentially superior beings doesn't even know what to do with themselves or bother to learn their history. So they dance. So they drug. So they go to the internet to find more sex...You don't seem to be able to connect with anyone beyond the basest way... I'm not so proud of us right now."

In a Q and A afterwards (which demonstrated quite clearly how clueless some gay youth are) someone mentioned the low current attendance at ACT UP meetings. I had a thought on how to get ACT UP and activism going again--free crystal at the meetings! And maybe barebacking how-to demonstrations--KIDDING! Larry laid out his bleak diagnosis and ended with more questions than answers. Maybe it's time for us to start thinking for ourselves... That baton's been passed now, kids. You gonna drop it? Or come out swinging? Or go to the gym and cruise the steam room? Or shop for your next circuit party outfit? Or do another bump, girl?