ABOUT THAT ABERCROMBIE & FITCH SCANDAL....

Of course, we've all heard about the Abercrombie and Fitch scandal which is perceived to be slighting plus sized women. Full disclosure: I actually have a small personal connection to that company. For the record, Abercrombie and Fitch's CEO Michael Jeffries must not hate all fat people: he's hired me for the past 8 years to spin at his mansion for their staff party and I've been overweight every one of those 8 years. The first year, they put me in an airport hotel and I don't drive. With no shopping within walking distance. So when I opened my suitcase to find that I'd forgotten to pack eye shadow, hairspray and a bra, I was totally goofed. (Without a bra, a drag queens' boobs won't stay on.) And the nearby 7/11 didn't sell any of these items. So I used a hideous junkie-looking red blush-as-eye shadow look with a homemade boob tube bra fashioned from chopping off the top band of my panty hose to hold my falsies in place. With a messy wig and a flip-flop paired with sequins to accommodate my broken toe, this was how I showed up for my first gig for this image-conscious clothing company. No one flinched and Michael greeted me warmly as he's done every year. He isn't the monster that he's being made out to be. I've been treated by everyone in his employ so respectfully, even paying my full fee one year when they had to cancel the party. (This is unheard of in my business.) They also send me the most heavenly chocolates I've ever eaten every Christmas. They're so delicious that I normally gobble the whole box myself. Wait! Maybe that's their trick to make sure that I never disgrace them by wearing their clothes! But seriously, the level of outcry against A & F surprises me a little. The company announced that they wouldn't make sizes over 10 for women. I'm not sure that the backlash will outweigh the publicity snowstorm that has, in effect, branded them as desirable to a certain set. The set they claim they want. Many girls may now covet these smaller sizes as a way to say "I'm a hot, thin chick who can get into A &F." Is this a traditional way for a company to get press or brand themselves? No, but if that's what's bugging you then ask how no talent it girls like Anna Nicole Smith, Kim Kardashian, and Paris Hilton have come to dominate the last decade: sex tapes! Celebs, PETA and many businesses use shock tactics as a marketing tool. It's been the new normal for a while now. Isn't the outrage merely playing into the hands of A & F's very successful ploy? Think about it: A & F has now branded themselves as a company for cool, thin people to an increasingly obese nation. But that's always been a part of their brand: exclusive, worn impossibly beautiful, young models, stores decked out with antique skiing gear to suggest to the manor born, old money and the quality that goes with it kinda vibe. I mean, their stores have scantily clad doormen and with loud dance music playing as in night clubs. In keeping with that night club parallel, should it surprise anyone that clubs are picky with their clientele? Hello! Remember Studio 54? And if you think about it, A & F's clothes are quite simple and casual yet a bit more expensive than average. How do they do it? By convincing people think that it's worth that extra dollar to be part of the exclusive club which wears their garments. Their marketing is actually quite genius. Exclusivity has always been a part of fashion. Until the last decade, high fashion designers didn't make larger sizes until the economic crash coupled with the obesity epidemic forced them to loosen their waistlines in order to break even. And exclusivity drives higher prices. It's the old law of supply and demand. Tell someone they can't have something and they'll want it and they'll pay more to get it. Just like when you pick up a kid's toy and play with it--the brat may have ignored that toy for hours but when you start enjoying it, they squawk over it and suddenly have to have it. Don't deny that this works. (I've conducted extensive research on my niece and nephew who are now scarred for life so that I could bring you these exclusive findings.) So what has A & F done is no different from airlines which let 1st class ticket holders board first, event producers which sell limited VIP tickets which enable a select few to meet and greet a performer, or night clubs which give seating preference to patrons who shell out $500 for a bottle of booze which would cost $50 in a liquor store. Do these businesses care about the feelings of coach passengers, the fans in the cheap seats or those who can't afford pricey bottle service? You'd be naive to think so. Fashion itself is snooty. By wearing a designer outfit, the goal of many is to say "I paid more for this clearly labelled label so that all the rest of you can see me in it and wish you could afford it, too. Except that they don't even make it in your size, darling!" This is how the business works, folks! Haute couture is only for the rich and we now know that A & F is only for women who are trim. And if you really want to go there, is there any image-based company which sends the message that fat people are cool? Do you see many overweight people on movies or tv--in commercials, sitcoms, dramas or as newscasters? Don't blame Jeffries for a fat phobia which existed long before his statements. But suddenly, thanks to these statements made in 2006, he's bullying women. And so it's fair game to say for those who he bullied to bully him right back. Many people are saying he's unattractive despite obvious plastic surgery. Oh, so it's ok for you to bash someone's appearance when your feelings have been hurt by their commentary on your appearance. If women larger than a size 10 want positive, affirming messages, don't look towards clothing companies which market themselves as "aspirational." Women need to develop their own sense of worth and ignore marketing. If you value yourself the way you are, then Abercrombie has lost you as customer because of their dismissive policies. You and only you can decide that you're cool or not regardless of your size, and then Michael Jeffries has no power here. If you've been hurt by this CEO's frankness, then you've clearly bought into the social conditioning that tells that a woman's worth is reduced if she isn't petite. Look at how retailers of clothes for larger women dance around the language describing their wares: plus-sized, full-figured, ample, etc. Can you imagine a successful clothing line with obese in it's name? NEWSFLASH: most large retailers won't be sending any affirming messages to women with bigger butts, women with ethnic features, women with wrinkles, women whose teeth aren't artificially whitened, women whose hair isn't straight and blonde, or women who may risk body odor from stress sweat, which one current deodorant ad actually claims can smell worse. Fashion marketing is based on an ideal which no one can actually achieve--that's why we shell out extra cash for luxury brands. I grew up with many thin black kids who would buy larger sized jeans than they needed so their moms could take up the waists to accommodate their bigger butts. When Brooke Shields was modeling for Gloria Vanderbilt, the designer made a statement similar to Jeffries' claiming that she didn't make jeans for black behinds--and there was little outrage. You can't force a company to cater to you--you have to find clothes that fit in a store which sells them. If women above a size 10 want to wear Abercrombie and Fitch so desperately, then lose weight. Don't go ballistic because their CEO has simply spelled out a larger truth about fashion marketing which you don't want to hear. Here's another truth: if you're looking for an XXL, you may well be fat. I can wear up a 2XL or a 3XL and I don't go blaming the designers. How far do you want to take this outrage? Even when I was thinner I couldn't fit into most women's clothing, and certainly not into designer label's offerings. Does that make these companies trans- or drag-phobic? If we're going to boycott every garment manufacturer that sends negative, undemocratic messages then I'm very glad that the weather's warming up--there's going to be a lot of naked people running around. And if women are so concerned about feel-good messages, who in the hell is watching the hideous harpies of The Real Housewives series? I don't think it's men. Not straight ones, anyway. See y'all at Lane Bryant! Oh--I mean right after I hit the gym, that is. (My gym has such delicious food!)