FROM MY MOM, LADY BECKY!

Scotch with two drops of water

A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship and orders a Scotch with two drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink she says,

'I'm on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it's today..'

The bartender says, 'Well, since it's your birthday,

I'll buy you a drink. In fact, this one is on me.'
As the woman finishes her drink, the woman to her right says, 'I would like to buy you a drink, too.'

The old woman says, 'Thank you. Bartender, I want a Scotch with two drops of water.'

'Coming up,' says the bartender As she finishes that drink, the man to her left says, 'I would like to buy you one, too.'

The old woman says, 'Thank you. Bartender, I want another Scotch with two drops of water.' 'Coming right up,' the bartender says.

As he gives her the drink, he says, 'Ma'am, I'm dying of curiosity. Why the Scotch with only two drops of water?'

The old woman replies, 'Sonny, when you're my age, you've learned how to hold your liquor. Holding your water, however, is a whole other issue.'


'OLD' IS WHEN....

Your sweetie says, 'Let's go upstairs



and make love,' and you answer,

'Pick one; I can't do

both!'



'OLD'

IS WHEN...

Your

friends compliment you

on your new alligator shoes

and

you're barefoot..



'OLD' IS WHEN...

A sexy babe or hunk catches your fancy



and your pacemaker opens the garage door.



'OLD' IS WHEN...



Going braless



pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.



'OLD' IS WHEN...

You don't care where your spouse goes,



just as long as you don't have to go along.




'OLD' IS

WHEN...




'Getting a

little action'

means you don't need to take any fiber

today.



'OLD'

IS WHEN...

'Getting

lucky' means you find your car

in the parking

lot.



'OLD'IS

WHEN...

An 'all

nighter' means not getting up

to use the bathroom.





AND



'OLD' IS

WHEN....

You are not

sure these are jokes


Remember to always smile, it makes

people wonder what you have been up to!