MERRY FUCKIN' XMAS, NYC-STYLE!

Just left a delightful party and was hailing a cab way downtown. I saw one and hailed it as an older woman who had walked up to that corner minutes after me started shrieking "Don't you even dare!"--because she thought it was her cab. I opened the door of the cab and she lunged at me and grabbed a gift that Debbie Harry had just given to me. I don't care if you're a woman or not, if you lunge, I knock. So I shoved her to the ground and wrenched the gift out of her paws and slammed the cab door. She continued screaming that I had called her a "c#nt". I rolled down the window and said "Well what were you being?". I realized that she was blithering drunk so whatever and the cab driver and I had a laugh about the Christmas spirit. But the truth was, even though I was there first I was thinking about giving her the first cab as a courtesy anyway. There were plenty of them coming. I guess you don't move to NYC to encounter laid back sweethearts so I shouldn't complain. But what a maniac! Even if you did see the cab first you don't physically attack the person who beats you to it.I guess all is fair in love, war and NYC taxicabs. But if the fool hadn't been shrieking and snatching at me she might have noticed several available cabs going by.