January 12, 2011

TODAY'S HEADLINES

SEVERE WEATHER ALERT IN THE NY/TRI-STATE AREA: HEAVY SNOWSTORM PREDICTED AT WHITNEY HOUSTON'S NEW JERSEY MANSION. (original joke by Bruce Vilanch--I'm trying to be an honest thief!)

I don't often post things that are touching but here goes. Gabby Giffords told constituents who extended their hands out to her "I don't do handshakes. I do hugs." Too bad they did bullets. And the 9 year old girl gunned down aspired to run for public office. So sad.

Gabrielle Giffords has responded to simple commands like holding up 2 fingers. Republicans will probably now claim that she's politicizing her own recovery by slamming the war on terror with a peace symbol.

TED WILLIAMS



Ted Williams made national headlines when someone spotted him panhandling while claiming he had a golden voice for radio. They put him to the test and videotaped him making an announcement. The video went viral and Jeff was besieged with job offers after several appearances on news shows.

Update: He was "arrested" after an altercation with his daughter. Or so this headline claimed--he was actually only detained. But we build them up and wanna tear 'em down!

MORE: CONTACTMUSIC

Britney Spears long-awaited comeback single is released and a NYC gay dj is very underwhelmed:

A dj slams Brit's latest: "So many Britney fans were disappointed when their excitement was crushed by her anti-dance track. It's at 133 bbm's which make it almost impossible to dance to unless you're cracked out of your mind at some circuit party."

I got news for DJ Richard JMV: Britney could never disappoint me--cuz I never liked her!

Everyone is being careful to blame AZ shooting on a psycho and not Palin and other purveyors of hate speech. Agreed-she didn't shoot Giffords herself. But if Palin's completely innocent, why did she unpost that map which put a target on Giffords' district? And have her camp claim that the cross hairs were actually surveyor's symbols? She knows guns and knows exactly what cross hairs are. The bitch's plan worked. Your plan must really be diabolical if you can't even claim victory. But mam grizzly is hibernating all of a sudden.


HOW SAD THINGS ARE: Though this AZ shooting might discredit Palin somewhat, I'm worried if that happens. I want her to run for president because Obama can beat her. Even sadder? I don't even like Obama that much!