GOODBYE, POLAND!

I'm preparing to leave Warsaw after a 3-day visit. My travel companion on the return flight is none other than Amanda Lepore, a fascinating creature who I never get enough of. I just hope that she'll veer away from discussing politics once in awhile. What can I say? It's her passion!

Before arriving, I took it upon myself to prepare for my trip by memorizing several polish phrases like "Hello", "Thank you" and "How much?" But I was surprised to find how easy a language it was to pick up. Within a short time, I'd learned even more useful phrases like "The mental hospital is that way", "Don't eat out of that dog's bowl", "Please don't smear feces on yourself while I'm eating" and "Madame, you know good and well that your son's ass hasn't fetched a price above 5 euros since he was 3 years old." I'll miss this zany land!

For the few locals who spoke english their one burning question was: Do you know Murray Hill? Apparently, he has many kinfolk here.