IMAN'S CDFC AWARD AFTER-PARTY

I’ve been to a zillion parties in my time, but spinning at uber-model Iman’s after-party for her CDFC award has to be in the top twenty in terms of glamour and sheer fun. I’m not the biggest ass-kisser, but I must express a hearty thanks to the Stephen Gan, James Kaliardos and Cecilia Dean at Visionaire/V magazine for using me at so many fab events all over the world for more than a decade now. With this gang, I’ve traveled to Paris, London, Milan, Tokyo, Beijing, Bangkok, and Seoul. One thing my parents taught me is to see as much of the world as you possibly can and with this crew I’ve crossed quite a few destinations off of my list.



The Standard is not an exotic locale—thankfully, it’s within walking distance of my apartment. My wig was too big to fit into a cab without lying sideways and I’m temporarily banished to wearing flats after knee surgery so I hoofed it to work in the rain. Those dome umbrellas are meant to cover your whole upper torso, but on Miss Moose here, it barely shielded my gargantuan coiffure!





I’d never been to The Standard but it is completely lovely. Iman’s do was held in the new Black Room. In fact, the theme of the party was Black. It’s a nutty idea to throw a black supermodel a black-themed party in a black room but I doubt if anyone took offense. Or even made that connection. But the crowd was largely African-American so maybe they applied the theme to the guest list as well?

RICHARD ALVAREZ AND V'S STEVEN CHAIKEN GUARDING THE DOOR



V'S CECELIA DEAN AND JAMES KALIARDOS WITH UNKNOWN FOX



OPENING DJ LINDSAY



I arrived early and was rocking to the musical selection of DJ Lindsay, who spun many of my all-time favorite songs like Aretha’s Rock Steady, Me’lisa Morgan’s Fools’ Paradise, Gwen McCrae’s Funky Sensation and Womack and Womack’s Baby I’m Scared of You, which I’m convinced is the basis of the beat of reggaeton. (The musical genre with one beat.) She pulled out a few surprises too—I’ve never heard any dj play Tom Browne’s Thighs High (Grip Your Hips And Move.). (Tom’s hit was Funkin’ For Jamaica.) For a soul-loving crowd it was perfect.

ASIANS DO LOVE THAT FUNKY MUSIC! GETTING WAY ON DOWN!





Many future Imans were there to celebrate. I don’t follow fashion so I couldn’t name them, but damn did these skinny, exotic creatures make feel dumpy—especially in flats. By the end of the night, I felt so stocky that I was about ready to run home and order some neck stretching rings! A diet might be more practical, but since when have I ever been practical?

MY NEXT LOOK?





THIS GIRL'S MUG IS BEYOND BELIEF! SO SORRY ABOUT HER HUNCHED BACK!



These three ladies each wanted a pic with Bun and laughed that they were fighting over me. I told them “I wish you were men!” Pause. “You aren’t men, are you?” One replied “No!” in a very deep voice to which I shot back in an even deeper one “Good, cuz I’m straight.” Guess you had to be there.



LOVED THIS CHUNKY NECKLACE WITH A HUGE GEM. ANY IDEAS WHO MADE THIS? I SIMPLY MUST ROB THEM.



IS THE CHICK IN THE MIDDLE A WILLIAMS TWIN?



THE GUYS WEREN'T ANYTHING TO SNEEZE AT EITHER!













I LOVE A METALLIC/REFLECTIVE TIE!



THIS GUY IS KNOWN FOR HIS "GUM HITHER" LOOK.





Kelis, always upbeat and sassy, popped in and wearing heels so high that she was taller than me! The dj played her new track Parallel Lines and I marched up to her with my fingers in my ears whining “What’s wrong with this dj? She’s awful!” She loved the abuse.

WHO DESIGNED KELIS'S GORGEOUS BOOTS?



I KNOW WHO DESIGNED MY POST-KNEE SURGERY FLATS: PAYLESS! WHY PAY MORE?



I love soul music and disco, so by the time I’d finished prancing to Teena Marie’s Square Biz, my wig had had it. That’s the great thing about Vicodin—you just don’t care. It was prescribed for me after knee surgery and I have n’t had much experience with it. I wasn’t really in that much pain after the surgery, but from what I can tell, the drug doesn’t stop the pain as much as it gives you a great buzz. So you just laugh and think “Whee, I’m in pain!”

THESE TWO MODELS CREATED THE MOST UPROAR.



I missed Iman’s entrance, so Stephen grabbed me to take me to her corner, where the goddess was seating chatting with friends. I can’t describe the thrill I felt when this goddess leapt up to greet me warmly. Gorgeous, exotic and friendly? What more could you possibly want? I was in heaven. Some photographers gathered round to snap Iman and I-man seated together and I began to berate her light-heartedly. “Is that the best pose you’ve got?” (Because of the low seat, her long legs were pooching up and out in an almost masculine way so I mimicked the pose. She knows I’m retarded and seemed to enjoy it. I went on to tell her “So you got an CDFC award. I got the STD award. AND I GOT IT FROM YOUR HUSBAND!”



Not wanting to dog her, I mingled some more and could not stop repeating the line from Queen Latifah’s Come Into My House, which clears the floor when I play it but it worked that night for the other dj. You gotta love any song which begins “Welcome into my queendom/Come one come all.” But I could not stop repeating to Kelis or anyone else who I marched up to the genius line: “Hip hop house hip hop jazz/With a little pizzazz.” What a wild rhythm that line has! Is that what you call syncopated?

LADIES OF THE '80's



Finally, it was my turn to “man” the decks and they had some technical glitch with the equipment, which I was not familiar with. The cd deck was too high tech for me and it showed track names but was on some sitting which played a different song than the track name displayed. So by mistake, I started with Kenny Bobien’s house cover of Patti’s You Are My Friend. It would have made more sense if Patti was there, but I guess the diva didn’t make it. No big deal—I’ve worked with her 4 times but always love to see her.

A DRESS YOU CAN'T SIT DOWN IN!



David Bowie wasn’t there either. I was originally scheduled to dj at the dinner at Indochine but since I play dance music, I am more at home at a proper party so they moved me to the more dance-y function. I don’t really like eating…to dance music. But I saw a facebook post from Joey Arias who performed a song at the dinner. He said that Bowie wasn’t feeling too well. Duh! Who is after on of Joey’s poorformances? Especially after eating? Actually, Joey and his friend Klaus Nomi were David’s back-up singers on SNL in the late ‘70’s!

I’d gone through a zillion music choices, even grilling Facebook pals for suggestions. They gave me some great ones and I did burn a few cds with art rock dance tunes like ESG’s Standing In Line, Bostich by Yello and Nina Hagen’s African Reggae. But considering the crowd, I stuck with what I knew would work.

They were switching the decks to ones less high-end ones which I could comprehend while I mistakenly played CeCe Penniston’s underrated Nobody Else, a straight-up gospel house number which of course is not as well known as Finally, but is a fantastic song. Finally got the equipment working and kicked in with Kirk Franklin’s irresistible Looking For You, which samples Patrice Rushen’s genius Haven’t You Heard. I played the Moto Blanco remix of Jennifer Hudson’s Spotlight and their remix of Mary J’s Be Without you but mostly stuck with older disco-funk classics like Positive Force’s We Got The Funk, Jocelyn Brown’s seismic Somebody Else’s Guy and Maze featuring Frankie Beverly’s Before I Let Go.

V MAGAZINE'S STEPHEN GAN



Stephen ran up to me at one point and said “Bun-Bun! Don’t you think this is one of our best parties ever?” I had to agree. Some Visionaire parties are more see-and-be-seen promotional affairs for a new issue. But this was a partay!



THEY FELT A LITTLE INADEQUATE WHEN THEY SAW THIS ENORMOUS BLACK POLE. NO NEED TO WORRY--IT WAS IMAN'S CFDC AWARD.







I ran over to see two sexy rascals strip down and present Iman with her massive award. I don’t think she heard me shriek “You can’t handle them! You’re used to white men!”



When former model/agent/editor Bethan Hardison introduced the night’s honoree in front of the dj booth, I and grabbed the mic to say whine “Iman stole my look!” which was so absurd that the crowd erupted with laughter. Charming and brief, Iman wanted to thank everyone for coming and tell us that her people in Africa celebrated by dancing. I tried to grab the mic to share something from my redneck people’s culture. Like “Go back to Africa!”, which struck me as particularly appropriate since she’s from Somalia. But let’s just say that they were satisfied with my first idiotic punch line and wouldn’t give me the mic. But I loved rocking out with Bethann on the dancefloor—she stayed until the bitter end and we went way back to Rufus and Chaka Khan's Swing Down Chariot. And Iman seemed to be having a blast. What a night!



Sometimes I need a little refresher course on why I still love NYC in spite of it's many changes for the worse. This event could only have happened here. Outside of major cities, Snookie from the Jersey Shore is probably a more recognizable fashion icon that a retired model whose heyday was 30 years ago. And how delightfully different to spin at a party where no Lady Gaga songs were requested, played or missed!