I WON A GAYVN AWARD!

For those of you who are not familiar with the GAYVNs, the are the Oscars of the adult gay film industry. I know how I rant on about there being too many awards shows these days--remember when there were just the Oscars and the Grammys?--until I win one, of course. I also just 'dj'ed" for the Bravo A-List Awards pic below with the Real Housewives gang from Bravo looking like an amputee , so I guess I don't hate awards shows when I either win or am involved in them! But you knew I was rotten and that's why you're visited this blog!



“Michael Lucas was kind enough to cast me in Brothers' Reunion and I'm absolutely thrilled to receive an award for my acting abilities. Michael only phoned me the very day of the shoot. He told me to dress as a wacky older aunt and grab a cab to Times Square where I would interrupt an ongoing orgy. No biggie. Sounded like one of my average hooking clients to me. So I threw on my blonde Ann Miller wig and a floral caftan and proceeded to Michael's studio. My role called for me to walk in on Jason Crew and Jackson Wild fucking, horrified that they were fornicating in my parlor and dismissing them, with the camera zoomed in on my horrified face as I discovered that one of my favorite statuettes, that of an asian man, was now dripping with the condoms, cum and fecal matter resulting from the two actors' tryst. Are you guys hard yet?

CLOWNING ON THE SET OF BROTHERS' REUNION WITH MICHAEL LUCAS



“Without even knowing it, I'd been rehearsing for the scene for several days on a crystal binge cramming every tchotchke I could find in my own apartment into my own hungry hole. Still, it was with great zest that I tore into my improvised "script" and I'm sincerely delighted that the GayVNs recognized my talent.

WITH MY CO-STARS, JASON CREW AND JACK WILD



“Yet with all great wins, there can be a price to pay. Two controversies arose from this year’s GayVNs.

“First, Mr. Lucas took the microphone to lambaste everyone responsible for nominating Brent Corrigan, whose underage porn appearance is already well-documented in the adult film industry circles. Even in the Sodom and Gomorrah that is San Fransissy-co, most would agree that porno cameras should never roll on underage actors due to the peril it causes within the business which is Michael's livelihood. Even in my personal life, I wouldn't dream of filming the underage boys I regularly have sex with. They show up, I admit them, we have wild, drug-infused kinky orgies, I pay them and they leave. But I'd never, ever film dream of filming them in the act! Besides, I often fooled around when I was underage and it didn't screw my head up, did it? Um, maybe there is a better way to illustrate that point...

“But in chastising Corrigan's nominators, Michael was only trying to elevate his industry's standards, since underage porn doesn't exactly help the manner in which the already dimly-viewed industry is regarded. Then there was the incident where Corrigan's boyfriend was arrested for claiming to throw acid in Lucas's handsome face. This raises many questions:

“Whose side of the gory story is true--Michael's or Corrigan's?

“Is Michael upholding industry standards by damning Corrigan or is he simply seeking publicity? Or both?

“And most importantly, this alleged acid. Is it readily available and might it reduce pore size?

“Seriously, some might think that the Corrigan scandal has passed since Brent is now of legal age. Others, particularly those who make a living making and distributing legal porn, might think --in keeping with the law--that filming minors are forever taboo and that dignifying them in any way sends a dangerous signal. But although Michael, like Madonna or Britney Spears, thrives on scandal and the press which arises from it, as a friend of his I also know that he feels passionately about practically everything. I often ask him when I hear his latest rants, "Michael, are people really coming to a porn mogul's blog to hear about Muslims versus Israelis? Do cerebral issues like these actually sell adult films?" And I've heard Michael rant on about Corrigan long before the GayVNs--so I know this isn't some empty controversy which Michael's invented simply to steal the spotlight at this year's award ceremony--right or wrong, he feels very strongly about this. And in an era where "Whatever, girl!" has become a catchphrase in the gay community which can rarely even organize to fight for it's own rights, I find Michael's opinionated, unyielding stances refreshing.

WHAT'S MY MOTIVATION?



“I must personally take issue with the Gayvns for another reason: how could I possibly be nominated in a non-sexual category? If the adult film industry can embrace Buck Angel, a man with a vagina, surely a mere transvestite is not so freaky that I'm to be denied the existence of my considerable sex appeal. You think there aren't plenty of men who don't fancy a mature, plump, transvestite showgirl as a sexual partner? Harumph! Try telling that to the Manhattan's large homeless community who've often snored the night away while I greedily blew their scabby meat. Why, Michael himself remarked on the set of Brother's Reunion that Jason Crew's sizable dong popped up more than it had all day when I entered the set--not sporting some spicy, skin-baring slutwear but in a dowdy caftan and matronly wig! And not even Michael could be aware the I was wearing a 12 inch black butt plug during the entire shoot! That's non-sexual? I WAS ROCK HARD--well, my face was anyway, as you can see from the attached "on set" photos. And speaking of shameful plugs, here's a really shameless one!

“Though I have issues with a category, a win is a win. And I hope to parlay my non-sexual role into many sexual ones both on and off camera. Though I was unable to accept my award in person, I will be hopping into San Francisco to perform my one "woman" show, DEFINITELY NOT THE EASTER BUNNY! on April 9th, 10th and 11th at the deluxe Rrazz Room, located inside Hotel Nikko. I welcome well-wishers who'd like to congratulate me on my award, any new fans I may have made as a result of my Oscar-worthy appearance in Brothers' Reunion, lovers of raunchy cabaret, and of course, tranny-chasers. I'm staying right upstairs at the Nikko! And I brought that butt plug. But please bring fresh poppers. I've been on the road and mine are kinda old and giving me that tell-tale rash under my nose. And I would NEVER steal Chi Chi La Rue's look!”