I'M A DIRTY OLD TRAN!

DOES THIS STRAIGHT GUY (A MYSPACE FRIEND) LITERALLY HAVE A MANICURE WITH SILVER? ACCENTS?)



Christ, these brats on myspace are out of control! I have always preferred older men, but now that I'm older myself, the only ones older are in retirement homes. Through myspace, I've realized that I am physically attracted to younger guys, but I've just never wanted to put up with their shit as the figure out who they are. Still working on WHAT I am myself, darlin'--don't need any excess baggage.

(Insert joke about my weight here.)

Although you can't show too much skin on myspace, these guys are very creative about showcasing their attributes.



This shot is particularly arousing. Of course, the guy's in Chicago, but I have no problem with long distance lust and my work do involve frequent travel.



THIS CHILD'S PIECE IS ALMOST AS THICK AS HIS TEENY WAIST!



AND HE'S NICE ENOUGH TO INCLUDE A VIDEO TEASER CALLED WANNA SEE IT BOUNCE?

WANNA SEE IT BOUNCE?



And while IM'ing with his gorgeous cousin yesterday, the jolly, smut-filled conversation suddenly got very real. The cousin asked me "Seriously, wht are the 3 things in life that make you tick?"

I hit send after each response:


FOOD



DICK



APPLAUSE


He mistook the spelling of applause and wrote back: "Really? You like applesauce that much?"