BREAKING NEWS FROM THE ONION

The Onion brings tears to my eyes with their "news" coverage.

Age-Progression Technology Indicates Missing Child A Prostitute By Now



THEONION


Pope Returns To Vatican With Comprehensive Plan To Blow Up United States



WASHINGTON—In an unprecedented breach of national security, Pope Benedict XVI, leader of the international organization known as "the Roman Catholic Church," has infiltrated the highest levels of the U.S. government and devised a wide-ranging plan to destroy the entire country.

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