SOME GOOD ONES!

At a wedding:
-- Oh my God, what an ugly bride that is!
-- Excuse me?! That is my daughter!
-- Oh, I'm so sorry, I didn't know you were the father.
-- Pardon me?! I'm her mother!

Ol' grandma is going out with a grandpa for a walk:
-- Granpa, do you think I should wear a bra?
-- Yep, better wear it, it's been raining and it's all muddy out there.

A cowboy leaves a saloon, lifts his horse's tail and kisses it's ass. Another cowboy sees this act and asks:
-- Why on earth did you do that?
-- I've got really dry and chapped lips.
-- And kissing a horse's ass helps against that?
-- Nope, it doesn't, but I'm not licking them at least.

A man is toweling in front of a mirror after a bath and asks:
-- Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who's got the biggest prick of them all?
-- Me! -- retorts the wife.