January 29, 2008


While combing the news for more gossip on Carol's recent appearance in a Palm Springs bank heist, I ran across this article on a sports website--MY GAY COMPUTER ALMOST CRASHED, GIRLS!--which has compiled a list of the worst Super Bowl Halftime headliners. Carol was the first pop star to headline in 1970 in a tribute to Mardi Gras. The list is pretty hilarious--at one point they show this pic of Xtina with the caption:

Up to 5% of your body weight at any time can be makeup.

She do like a heavy blush! But who knew I'd pick up valuable make-up tips from a fucking sports site? Point taken. Here are a couple of their Worst Moment in Super Bowl Half TImes:

Phil Collins, Toni Braxton, Christina Aguilera, Enrique Iglesias, 2000: Disney cashes in on the Latino music revolution! And…throws in Phil Collins! For some reason! This was really the first strange mix of performers, as Disney's theme for the event was "The Tapestry of Nations". Apparently, the only nations that get to have tapestry are the US, England, and Spain.

Indiana Jones, Tony Bennett, Patti LeBelle, Arturo Sandoval, Miami Sound Machine, 1994: No, Indiana Jones didn't sing. Instead, Disney basically put on an extended advertisement for their Indiana Jones ride at Disneyland, featuring an actor who very much was not Harrison Ford playing Indy along with a knockoff Marion Ravenwood, both of whom were after the Vince Lombardi Trophy. Combine that with a bizarro mix of Tony Bennett, Patti LeBelle, and the Miami Sound Machine, and you have yourself the strangest, surrealist, most commercial, and all-in-all most diabolical Super Bowl halftime show of all-time. Now, top that, Soulja Boy.

The first comment on their site is "Why they hell is Soulja Boy performing at this years halftime show?"

Maybe because it's as this article suggests that the talent bookers (I think it's Disney) have goofed several times. Or maybe it has something to do with the fact that a lot of sports fans are morons who would enjoy a moronic, testosterone-soaked chant about Superman. But not the sports fans who who compiled this list.


PS: Carol impersonator Richard Skipper is has a show up in NYC at the moment, and is interviewed by Michael Musto for his new daily blog HERE.


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