MR ESCUELITA AND SUCH

This past Tuesday, I performed a guest spot at the Mr. Escuelita, where gods like the one below competed in such categories as swimwear and talent. This one has a talent for making me melt! But it seems that the mere presence of a performer of my stature made this hunk bite his lip nervously.



Of course, the average customer at La Escuelita is normally quite attractive to me. Behold the creamy goodness of this smoking hot thing having a smoke outside the club.



And these two exotic temptations were just hanging (I can only imagine how low!) at the bar.



Of course, backstage gave me a unique vantage point to shoot these lovely gaysha girls--the two real one's have the most adorable smiles I've ever seen! The braces are adorable!



Eager competitors bracing for action...



The lips on the boy on the right--so luscious! And he wasn't even competing!



Beginning to feel faint from all of the body heat...



I drop to my knees..GULP! Bunny, you've got a show to do!



After this testosterone pageant I crave estrogen and shuffle breathlessly into the Girls' Room where I meet a coyly sensational Angela Carrera, a regular Hawaiian headliner.



Other co-stars included Daesha and Ashley Blake.



With Harmonica Sunbeam as a patriotically-dressed femcee. (Taken from the monitor--her fumes prevented a closer shot.) (She actually looked great with giant, tousled 80's scrunch hair. "Tip these girls!", she squawked after Daesha's gospelly lip-synch. "Or were you planning to tip them through paypal?"



The esteemed judges for the evening.



DJ Chip-Chop Gonzales (far right) and posse.



Extravaganza in the house! Constantly scouting to stay on top?



I promptly performed my # and found my drinking buddies Sandra (right) and Johanna (right), who patted my gut while saying "9 months!" Who's the father? I AM! I solemnly promise not to wear that "new wave" wig ever again. I was thinking Phyllis Diller, but looking more like Barry Diller!



I enjoyed a few rounds with this yummy bartender, who could easily be a cousin of TLC's Left-Eye Lopez with his sexy self.



I wonder where I left my other earring? And why it smelled like foreskin when I finall found it?



Shadow attacked the stage in a breakaway camouflage suit and the crowd went up!



Legendary Sugar Babies dj/producer Troy Parrish spotted on our way out. (It's kinda hard to "top" Shadow.)



An alcohol-fuelled attempt at pole dancing--I meant I think these girls may be Polish.



It was off to Beige, where doorman Derrick Neen whisked us into Erich Con-rad's long-standing Tuesday night soiree at Bowery Bar at peak hour of messiness. Erich, flanked by Richie Rich of Heatherette fame and his new BF. Erich was not speaking in any known language by the time we arrived at 2:30.



Michael Musto is a regular at Beige and it looks like he orders the chicken.



Another scrumptious Beige regular.



Favorite pic of the evening!



Joined by a couple of gaysians, they actually asked me how they could improve gay asian visibility. I suppose they had already nixed the idea of donning a clown wig, matching dress and earrings and greasepaint while drinking heavily. Hmmm. Visibility, Asian visibility...Might I suggest a penis pump?



Such weighty matters vanished as the cruel lights came up, and we descended into a sinister black hole. Mr, Black, to be exact.



Our accomodating doorman.



Less accomodating, but highly entertaining hostess, Sophia Del Mar.



Violet Temper has pared down her lilac pompadour bouffant for summer.



Lady in Red



Disco 2000 legend Astro Earl featuring a perma-pout. Is he related to Amanda LePore, by any chance?