HOT CHICKS WITH DOUCHEBAGS
An insane site which picks on unnatractive men with hot dates. The following is from the entry The Dutch Bag. The comments below are even more hateful! Are these written by hot guys who can't find a hot chick? Or just jealous, less successful douche bags?
And then there's Dutch-Bag, the Eurodouche, the Scroatian. Plastic skin oozing of Germanic butter creames and Tuscan hair gels. Shirts smelling vaguely of toblerone and riccola. With forehead gleaming in the light like the ancient Norwegian fjords, and hair spiked like southern Spanish forests of early spring, the Eurodouche dances like only he can dance. His nasal accent sings with indeterminate boutique hotel lobby resonance.
A fully lathered up work of renaissance art, the Eurodouche inspires post-colonialist douche-rage across much of the subcontinent.
Leopard Princess, however, makes me want to Arch my Duke while feudalizing the proletariat.
COMMENTS:
There's a sad aura of bygone glory hanging over Dutch. As if he were the drummer from Icehouse, showing up at fabulous parties to assert his relevance. He even BeDazzled™ his pants for the occasion. What a trouper.
Leopard Princess is not fooled. Note the strategic purse plaement, artfully blocking boob to puka contact. No Grieco on her. She's got her fin out of the water for octagenarian billionaires and will be gone before the flash clears from Dutch's eyes.
# posted by Baron Von Goolo : 1:42 PM
There's just something about this chick that says tranny. I can't put my finger on it but when I first looked that's what popped into my head. It's actually giving me the creeps. Maybe it's the fact that he/she is proportionally much larger than euro. Shoulders, hands, feet, all seemingly much bigger. I've got to stop, I'm getting nauseous.
# posted by rip van wanker : 1:44 PM
What!? How is that shirt even legal? And so now pants with swooshy sequined designs are the in thing in Europe now, eh? Apparently Ryan Seacrest has replaced Jerry Lewis as God over there. I'd hit douchebag in the face with a shovel, but it looks like someone already beat me to it.
Ye gods for hottie tho. She could fuck you just by looking at you.
Oh for cryin' out loud RVW, thanks for THAT thought. I was all set to not need whiskey until sundown. Now I might as well just go grab the bottle and a straw. Yeesh.
# posted by douche vader : 1:47 PM
isn't that the guy from saturday night live?
# posted by Anonymous : 1:55 PM
I was all set to say something when the astute van wanker noted the tranny characteristics on Meow Mix.
Now all I long for is to be locked in an office barefoot while I'm outnumbered by German thieves who shoot the glass to get back their C-4 detonators Die Hard style.
# posted by the last scroteurai : 1:59 PM
You could make a purse outta that motherfucker's face and sell it for a couple grand.
# posted by Mitch Meats : 2:04 PM
rip van wanker makes a good point. she does look like she's been under the knife. HOWEVER....... so does he. what if, and bear with me here, what if they were each the opposite sex months before this picture was taken? just a thought. just a horrifying, disturbing thought. i'm going home now to curl up with a warm bottle of scotch.
And then there's Dutch-Bag, the Eurodouche, the Scroatian. Plastic skin oozing of Germanic butter creames and Tuscan hair gels. Shirts smelling vaguely of toblerone and riccola. With forehead gleaming in the light like the ancient Norwegian fjords, and hair spiked like southern Spanish forests of early spring, the Eurodouche dances like only he can dance. His nasal accent sings with indeterminate boutique hotel lobby resonance.
A fully lathered up work of renaissance art, the Eurodouche inspires post-colonialist douche-rage across much of the subcontinent.
Leopard Princess, however, makes me want to Arch my Duke while feudalizing the proletariat.
COMMENTS:
There's a sad aura of bygone glory hanging over Dutch. As if he were the drummer from Icehouse, showing up at fabulous parties to assert his relevance. He even BeDazzled™ his pants for the occasion. What a trouper.
Leopard Princess is not fooled. Note the strategic purse plaement, artfully blocking boob to puka contact. No Grieco on her. She's got her fin out of the water for octagenarian billionaires and will be gone before the flash clears from Dutch's eyes.
# posted by Baron Von Goolo : 1:42 PM
There's just something about this chick that says tranny. I can't put my finger on it but when I first looked that's what popped into my head. It's actually giving me the creeps. Maybe it's the fact that he/she is proportionally much larger than euro. Shoulders, hands, feet, all seemingly much bigger. I've got to stop, I'm getting nauseous.
# posted by rip van wanker : 1:44 PM
What!? How is that shirt even legal? And so now pants with swooshy sequined designs are the in thing in Europe now, eh? Apparently Ryan Seacrest has replaced Jerry Lewis as God over there. I'd hit douchebag in the face with a shovel, but it looks like someone already beat me to it.
Ye gods for hottie tho. She could fuck you just by looking at you.
Oh for cryin' out loud RVW, thanks for THAT thought. I was all set to not need whiskey until sundown. Now I might as well just go grab the bottle and a straw. Yeesh.
# posted by douche vader : 1:47 PM
isn't that the guy from saturday night live?
# posted by Anonymous : 1:55 PM
I was all set to say something when the astute van wanker noted the tranny characteristics on Meow Mix.
Now all I long for is to be locked in an office barefoot while I'm outnumbered by German thieves who shoot the glass to get back their C-4 detonators Die Hard style.
# posted by the last scroteurai : 1:59 PM
You could make a purse outta that motherfucker's face and sell it for a couple grand.
# posted by Mitch Meats : 2:04 PM
rip van wanker makes a good point. she does look like she's been under the knife. HOWEVER....... so does he. what if, and bear with me here, what if they were each the opposite sex months before this picture was taken? just a thought. just a horrifying, disturbing thought. i'm going home now to curl up with a warm bottle of scotch.
posted by Lady Bunny at Wednesday, June 06, 2007
4 Comments:
Would you say that's her doggy bag?
Is that the purpose of that entire site--to leave catty comments about people who are having more fun than they are? Shit, boyz, drop the Vaseline and Hustlers and maybe you can get your pig out of the blanket, too!
At least we make fun of people's singing, too!
yes, and signing as well, Marlee Matlin
what's great about HCwDB's is that it's a mixture of Mystery Science Theater 3000 (but you get to be one of the robots making snarky comments) and a public stoning of popped-collar narcissists and the airhead chicks who love them.
So don't be hatin'...
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