FEELING TOO FAGGY?

HETRACIL

Try Hetracil! Please visit this unbelievable site and check out Disease Information--betcha didn't even know ya had it!--and FAQ's including this one.


I just started treatment for my Homosexuality with HETRACIL. How long should it take for HETRACIL to start working?

The first goal of treatment is to relieve the symptoms of Homosexuality that are disrupting your life. Symptom relief usually takes a few weeks, although some symptoms may improve during the first week of treatment. It may take 8 or more weeks to experience the full benefits of treatment with HETRACIL. Be sure to discuss how you are feeling with your doctor throughout your treatment.
You should know that the recommended length of treatment with an anti-effeminate is 6 to 12 months, because one of the long-term goals of treatment is to keep Homosexuality from troubling you again.

If you are prescribed HETRACIL for the treatment of Homosexuality, your doctor will monitor your progress and work with you to determine the appropriate length of your treatment.

I'm sorry to say that this does not appear to be a joke site. How can a drug like this be approved?

Possible Hetracil prescription scenario:

Doctor: Frances, that wrist's still a little limp.

Patient: Yeth, doctor.

Doctor: And that lisp. I'll just go and get my glove for the rectal exam.

Patient: Oh goody!

Doctor: Maybe I'd better double your dosage. But cut back if you find people wincing at the firmness of your handshake, or if you start feeling the urge to wear tri-colored medieval jester hats made of polar fleece to the game. Or spitting on the sidewalk. Or raping women. Or joining the army.