JUICY GOSSIP!

I was going to write a blog post about some juicy gossip I heard today. It seems that rich ladies on the Manhattan's upper east side are getting botox injections, not only in their face, but IN THEIR FEET as well. It seems the shots ease the pain from those treacherous Manolo Blahniks. It seems a little extreme to me, but I guess it gives new meaning to the old adage "Beauty knows no pain."

But then I heard some even juicier gossip. It's a well-kept secret that I had never heard a whisper of until today. It does NOT concern Jennifer Anus-ton's hairstyle, Oprah's failed Hermes shopping spree in Paris, or even Apple Paltrow vs whatever Britney Spears' ill-fated brat is named. It's way juicier than any words ever written about those gals! (Well, except maybe for the widely-reported rumor that Oprah and her "best friend" Gayle are dyke-lovers.)

In the past few days, an estimated 100,000 people were uprooted from the safety of their homes to face a horrendous situation. No, not Hurricane Rita. I'm talking about the thousands who travelled to yesterday's DC protest to cheer on a bunch of anti-war speakers. One speaker was Rep. Cynthia McKinney, who revealed....drumroll, please...that military recruiters were sent to the Houston Astrodome to sign up Katrina victims! How sickening is that? How depraved is this administration? They got those fucking army recruiters in a lot faster than they got the fucking victims out of New Orleans! Just ask the 1000 + who died. Well, I guess you can't actually ask them., but you get my meaning.

How rancid is that logic? I can just imagine the Pentagon scum thinking: "Well, Katrina refugees might as well enlist. It's not like they've got a home or family to go back to. They've almost just died so their life may be sufficiently devalued to where going to go die an illegal war against Iraq might not seem quite so bad at this point. Recruit quotas and public disapproval of the war are so low that people with futures and families are less likely than ever to sign up. And allowing in gays and people who we've helped cheat on drug and G.E.D. tests isn't working as well as we'd hoped. And hey, these are experienced looters who may actually be an asset in the US looting of Iraq."

C-Span broadcast Cynthia's speech and "poured the tea" on this juicy tidbit and I'm grateful to whoever didn't edit the representative's blistering words. But I've been watching CNN proper for nearly two hours and I've not heard one word about the 100,000 people who created the largest protest since the war began in 2003. Look, I know that hurricanes are buzz-worthy at the moment, and I mean no disrepect to anyone who lost property in the storm, but according to CNN, not one casualty was reported in the aftermath of Rita! Do we really need to dominate every fucking second of every fucking hour of news coverage to Rita while they are pulling out pointless details like an escaped llama in Orange County, Texas? Who gives a flying fuck about a missing llama? (Well, maybe Michael Jackson, if the llama were under a certain age and male...) But my point is the lack of balance between the coverage of Rita and this massive anti-war protest. There's more scandalous gossip ahead, but if you can bear the suspense, check out this link (bradblog.com) which has video clips of speeches by Cindy Sheehan and Jesse Jackson. LOVE the protester with the sign that says "WHO WOULD JESUS BOMB?" Now it's been a while since Jesus and I have spoken, but I would guess his answer is still "no one", "thou shalt not kill" or something like that. So who is the god that callous murderer Bush pretends to worship?

Okay! Really juicy gossip for you this time! Bush may be back on the sauce! Enquiring minds want to know, and though I don't place the National Enquirer at the top of the heap when it comes to journalistic integrity, sometimes it's precisely that lack of integrity which allows them to scoop something because they aren't hindered by pesky things like fact-checking or revealing their sources. Here's the link if you don't believe my poison pen: nationalenquirer.com. And I hope that it's true--like daughter, like father! I hope the bastard is totally unravelling in the face of his record low poll numbers. I pray that Bush embarks on such a boozy binge that by the time he's finished, the whole country can see that this man isn't fit to have an outhouse named after his sorry ass, much less an airport or library. He's already proven he's a piss-poor leader in the face of Katrina, for those who may have missed the clueless expression on the dunce's face in that classroom when he learned of 9/11, or the fact that he ignored warnings of 9/11 and then put the blame on CIA head George Tennant. Fast forward to Katrina and we see some other patsy, the FEMA head Michael D. Brown-nose, taking the fall for our government's bungled response in the face of disaster. Then throw in the notion that this bungled response was hampered by the fact that troops and funds were being used up in Iraq, the war which fewer and fewer believe we should be fighting. Oh, just one more goody! Like 9/11 and the civil war in Iraq, a disastrous flooding of New Orleans was predicted to be likely by the government's own experts, yet the Bush administration was so determined to throw caution to the wind and forge on with it's unwise (and now unpopular agenda) that they'd gladly disregard the very people it had chosen as it's advisers! Does this government make you feel safe? I don't care whether you are republican or democrat, at some point your self-preservation instinct has to kick in and tell you, quite plainly, that whether it's terrorist attacks or hurricanes, Dubya does not have your back! And in fact, one could argue that his administration, which denies global warming's existence, is partially responsible for freak weather patterns like Katrina and Rita. Many scientists hold the view that the increase in the hurricanes' severity is a direct result of global warming. Just google Katrina and global warning and read a couple of the articles which come up.

But back to the gossip! You wouln't know it from the shite which masquerades as news these days, but there are other stories of national importance that have been brewing alongside the hurricanes. Maybe you haven't heard that the two top republican congressional leaders, Bill Frist and Tom Delay, are being investigated for "ethical improprieties." Please read through to the end--it contains a bitchy, gossip-y zinger linking Frist to Martha Stewart.

From The Associated Press:

The news that federal prosecutors and the Securities and Exchange Commission are looking into Frist’s sale of stock in HCA Inc., the hospital operating company founded by his family, comes as a criminal investigation continues of Jack Abramoff, a high-powered Republican lobbyist, and his ties to DeLay of Texas.

Less than a week ago, a former White House official was arrested in the Abramoff investigation.

For Republicans, the timing couldn’t be worse.

“The last thing you needed was a Martha Stewart problem,” Marshall Wittman, a one-time conservative activist who now works for the centrist Democratic Leadership Council, said of Frist. “He doesn’t even have a good clothing line or a popular television show.”

Maybe some of you don't know or care who Bill Frist or Tom Delay are. Maybe you hate politics and snore through the news until the sports or weather segment comes on. Or maybe you're too busy raising a family and don't care about current affairs until your gas prices go up. Well, I've saved the best, and JUICIEST gossip for last. Shhh...There is a terrorist in your house. Go cautiously and have a peek...in the mirror. IT'S YOU! As long as you ignore the senseless murders of our soldiers and Iraqis, allowing this brutish administration to murder without just cause in YOUR NAME WITH YOUR TAX DOLLARS while you sit back and do nothing to try and stop it, YOU share in Bush's guilt. George Bush is the most lethal terrorist in the world right now and if you support his war you are as guilty as any muslim who condones the terrorist attacks emanating from their land. Right after 9/11 I would recoil at the sight of muslims going to those mosques which had been pegged as extremist hotbeds--how could they, in any way, condone the attacks of 9/11, even indirectly? How could anyone going to a church be so morally bankrupt? Now the tables have turned and WE are the nation full of hateful, blood-thirsty religious extremists whose "men of god" recommend assasinating the Venezualan president and blame Katrina on the fact that lovable lesbian talk-show host Ellen Degeneres has been chosen to emcee the Emmy's. Pat asked on a broadcast of The 700 Club, "Is it any surprise that the Almighty chose to strike at Miss Degeneres' hometown" of New Orleans? The fundamentalists are extremist all right, but they just favor wearing pastel prints and going-to-meetin' hats over the muslims' head scarves.

If you don't support the war and do nothing to rectify it, you're only a little better than the christian right (aka christian wrong who are Bush's fan base). As long as a superpower like the US will make pre-emptive attacks on another nation without proof of it's guilt, no one on earth is safe. If you have a voice, use it or lose it, whether you're forwarding emails or speaking out to influence friends, family and co-workers. Even if you have no time to speak out you can donate to organizations like moveon.org who'll speak out for you. Find out which organizations share your beliefs and donate--the coffers of our enemies are chock full thanks to the tax cuts they've given themselves. Or if you just get involved by informing yourself, shutting off the biased, mainstream news outlets and adding a few reliable news sites like www.huffingtonpost.com to your bookmarks, I know you'll be so outraged by the facts which don't make it on the news that you'll HAVE to speak out. Admit it, you were a little shocked to hear about the military recruiters preying on homeless Katrina victims. Maybe not as shocked as you were to hear about zombie Tom Cruise auditioning and then hiring Katie Holmes to be his girlfriend. And maybe not as shocked as I was to learn that ousted FEMA head Michael D. Brown spent the 80's as a lawyer and the 90's as the controversial head of The Internationl Arabian Horse Association. He was clearly unqualified to handle the country's disaster relief efforts but Bush cronies must be rewarded with plum positions, even when our nation's safety is sacrificed. Maybe not as shocked as I was when I received this (admittedly unsubstantiated) claim via email today:

Did you also know that reporters are being told to stop photographing the carnage left behind by Katrina or face being
shot???? They are taking reporters' cameras and emptying them. From what I hear a rogue dog police force has descended on the state. They are also shooting people down there left and right and banning the press from areas where the action is taking place. They are banning them from being around any of the army/police operations. They are making sure the news only reports on quiet rebuilding and that filming and photography be relegated to a few leaks and flooded homes where the action is quiet.

Even if you just have a gossip-monger's taste for scandal, the lies being perpretated by this administration are going to go down as some of the juiciest in our country's history. And do you want the shame of being one of the laughing stocks who blindly supported this liar when so much damning evidence is out there BEGGING to be discovered?

Someone with a screen name of "BODEGA VENDETTA" recently wrote me at ladybunny.net...

"gawd, I always thought Bunny was a coke sniffin' crack smokin' cock suckin' whoreish dragqueen/"performer"??
get off the soapbox piggy and get back to that restroom where you belong."

Now I'm not sure how seriously I should take a note from someone called BODEGA VENDETTA, but I do catch his/her point. (I also did giggle at the quotes around performer casting aspersions on my ability to perform, ya dirty bitch!) And she/he is right. I'm not as light-hearted as I used to be. Not all of my blog posts are comical anymore. But the world isn't what it used to be, either, and current events are too unsettling to ignore. And I've got to do something to get the situation back on track before I can safely return to being a demented clown. I guarantee you, history will remember Bush as a disgrace to the White House. Haven't you ever sat and wondered "How could the people of Nazi Germany sit back and follow Hitler's grisly agenda? A whole nation? What were they thinking?" Well, history always repeats itself and now the shoe's on your foot. Is Bush's murder and propaganda machine that different from Hitler's or that of any other deceitful despot who's murdered thousands without conscience? Are you willing to share in his immense guilt? If a democracy is government by the people then you people had better start fucking governing. Bush plainly can't.

Jordy--no, not the Jordy who settled with Michael Jackson, Queen of Pop, for millions who we'll soon be hearing lots more about thanks to a new World of Wonder documentary based on the book written by a detective on the case which includes
drawings by Jordy of Jacko's nasty, nelly nuts which were "dappled" by skin bleach--but rather Jordy the blogger who thankfully turned me on to the site which hosts 4 of the C-Span speeches from yesterday's protests just sent me another stirring link: virtualmatter.blogspot.com". On it, you'll find a young girl, who obviously has a lot more sense than half the adults in this country, chanting "Impeach Bush!" You're right, sweetheart. We cannot ask for anything less.

Whew! Maybe BODEGA's right. After that tirade, I feel my old self returning and I'm off to hunt down some dick and drugs!