August 31, 2010

THE BLONDE MORTICIAN

A man who just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit. The female asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed. She points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing.

The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the Blonde mortician a blank check and says, 'I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.'

The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly.

She says to the mortician, 'Whatever this cost, I'm very satisfied. You did an excellent job and I'm very grateful. How much did you spend?' To her astonishment, the blonde mortician presents her with the blank check.

'There's no charge,' she says.

'No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!' she says.

'Honestly, ma'am,' the blonde says, 'it cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice.'


'So I just switched the heads.'

LYPSINKA AND BUN-BUN: 1996

WE WERE ATTENDING THE OPENING NIGHT OF DAVID COPPERFIELD ON BROADWAY. I DON'T EVER REMEMBER SOUNDING THIS SOUTHERN! AND THE TOP OF MY WIG HAS CAB-HEAD!

TROLL POLL

REPUBLICANS: HOW DO YOU BELIEVE SOMETHING WHICH THERE IS NO EVIDENCE OF, PROBABLY BECAUSE THERE ISN'T A SHRED OF TRUTH IN IT? CONGRATS TO THE 33% OF REPUBLICANS WHO BELIEVE IT PROBABLY ISN'T TRUE THAT OBAMA WANTS TO IMPOSE ISLAMIC LAW. THE REST OF YOU ARE COMPLETE MORONS TO EVEN ENTERTAIN IT, MUCH LESS BELIEVE IT.

A full 14 percent of Republicans said that it was "definitely true" that Obama sympathized with the fundamentalists and wanted to impose Islamic law across the globe. An additional 38 percent said that it was probably true -- bringing the total percentage of believers to 52 percent. Only 33 percent of Republicans said that the "allegation" (as Newsweek put it) was "probably not true."

Poll: Majority Of GOP Believes Obama Sympathizes With Islamic Fundamentalism, Wants Worldwide Islamic Law

MORE: HUFFPO

MITZI GAYNOR: I DON'T CARE

BRUNETTE DEBBIE HARRY IN VIDEODROME

I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS ON YOUTUBE!

August 30, 2010

I'M SO GLAD I WAS CURED OF THIS DISEASE YEARS AGO!

THAT SNIDE DISEASE CALLED YOUTH BY JACKIE BEAT



One day your six-pack, washboard abs

Will hang and sag like burlap bags

Your thick and shiny, matinee hair

Will fall out leaving the sun's glare

Upon your thick and shiny skull

Which, turns out, is an empty hull

No brain inside, no heart, no soul

But just a leathered, weathered hole

A small sad smile will soon replace

That snotty sneer upon your face

For as you curl your lip at me

Dismissing me as "history"

You'll realize that when you were young

Your life was lip-synced and not sung

All that you thought was real and gold

Was worthless, wasted, tired and old

You're all the things that make you sick

While on your hunt for wild dick

Atrophied, arthritic, ill

There's no elixir, nor a pill

For only undilluted truth

Can cure that snide disease called Youth

So smile your lies, go hook and hustle

Work your look and flex your muscle

Run to the arms of what you're fearing

Shout, "Straight-acting, straight-appearing!"

Addicted to what hates you most

And haunted by Paul Lynde's ghost

So dim your light and watch your tone

But one day when you're all alone

You'll crave two things that no bank lends:

A fucking brain and a few close friends

"DANCING FOR THE CABANA CODE IN THE LAND OF BOO-HOO"

COATI MUNDI HAS A NEW ALBUM OF LATIN-FLAVORED DANCE MUSIC WITH A LITTLE BIT OF ELECTRO THROWN IN TO MODERNIZE IT. SPARSE, REPETITIVE VOCALS AND LUSH ARRANGEMENTS. And I've always thought he was sexy.

Also known as Andy Hernandez, many may remember the zoot-suited Coati Mundi from early eighties hits like “Me No Pop I” and “Como Esta Usted?” as well as his numerous collaborative projects, many of which were released on the edgy/arty New York imprint, ZE Records.

Coati Mundi was a founding member of the Grammy-nominated Dr. Buzzard’s Original Savannah Band, best known for their #1 Billboard Dance hit “Cherchez La Femme” as well as “Sunshower,” a favorite of hip hop producers, sampled by A Tribe Called Quest, M.I.A., Ghostface Killah, De La Soul, and
Doug E. Fresh.

Coati Mundi was also the co-leader, musical director and arranger for the quirky, cinematic, Afro-Latin big band Kid Creole And The Coconuts, the arranger for punk-disco diva Cristina and the music producer for Don Armando’s 2nd Avenue Rumba Band, which also lassoed a #1 Billboard Dance hit with the deliciously camp “Deputy of Love.” Born and raised in Spanish Harlem, Coati Mundi now lives in Los Angeles where he is also an actor.

Coati Mundi’s “Dancing for The Cabana Code in The Land of Boo-Hoo” is out October 14 on Rong Music, features the singles “No More Blues” and “Dancing Disco 101.”



LISTEN

LOVE THE ONION!

MEET LEOTA!

LADY BUNNY BY PETER PALLADINO

HA HA!

DIANA WORKS WELL WITH OTHER PUPPETS



5 TELL-TALE SIGNS OF BAD PLASTIC SURGERY

The odd thing is that Janet almost had to have a bad nose job in order to still look like a member of her own family.



MORE: STYLELIST.COM

THE REAL DEATH ROCK

FROM POPSCI.COM:

For those who can't afford to have their ashes sent to space or who may not like the notion of being screwed into the ground post-mortem, here's another solution: have your ashes pressed into a vinyl record and spin for all eternity.

(This costs $3,000.)




MORE: POPSCI.COM

MOTHERLY LOVE

Aug. 16, 2010 News of the Weird from Louisville Leo magazine




(1) Ranay Collins, 49, was arrested in Las Vegas in June and charged with beating her 16-year-old daughter with a cane. The arresting officer quoted Collins' explanation: "That (expletive) owes me $50 for rent."

(2) Police arrested Christina Muniz, 29, in Surprise, Arizona, in June, after being summoned to the home by Muniz's son, 11. Muniz had just informed the boy and his brother, 6, that she was abandoning them to move to California with her boyfriend to fulfill her dream of becoming a stripper. With police watching, the older boy approached Muniz for a hug, but Muniz slugged him in the stomach."

A NEW WAY OF PROMOTING CLUBS...

I want more twitta followers help me get to 1k. Ill give comps to my parties to the 1000-1005 peole who follow me!

Is it just me being over the hill or is this revolting?

ANN REINKING SIZZLES!

I'd never heard of Movie, Movie. But Ann is letting you have it as Troubles Moran. And who is that hunk drooling over her?

THE AUTUMN GOURD HARVEST IS ALREADY IN.

AND I DO MEAN IN! (Not for the squeamish!)

XTUBE.COM

OVER-ENDOWED? SO SAD

This is a cause so close to my heart and I offer my own counseling and physical therapy session to any one with this challenging curse.

RUPAUL'S DRAG U HAVING A PROFOUD EFFECT ON SOCIETY

FROM A POST ON MYGAYRANT.COM CALLED AM I BECOMING MORE FABULOUS EVERY DAY?

Anyway, I have noticed that ever since I have been in my relationship, I have started to become more and more “fabulous.” Like, my boyfriend and I watch make-up tutorials together, we pretend we are walking on a runway, and we generally acted more feminine together. I have started watching Ru Paul’s Drag U and thoroughly enjoying it, and I hate to admit it, but the other day I actually put foundation on to cover up a pimple.

MORE: MYGAYRANT

FLOTILLA GOT A COMMERCIAL!

RONALD MCDONALD COUTURE

BECAUSE EATING BURGERS MAKE YOU LOOK SO THIN AND CHIC.

"GOD, I'M SO COOL."

FOOLIN': DEVENDRA BANHART

August 29, 2010

GORGEOUS!

YOU'VE HEARD OF LATISSE?

BY NOW, I'M SURE YOU'VE HEARD OF LATISSE, THE LASH-LENGTHENING POTION WHICH REALLY WOEKS. UNFORTUNATELY, THERE ARE SOME BIZARRE SIDE EFFECTS. THIS IS A HILARIOUS SPOOF SITE!



MORE: WHYAREMYEYESBLEEDING.COM

FUNNY!

August 27, 2010

LOW LIFE AT THE HOWL FESTIVAL

SUNDAY SEPTEMBER 12, 2010
5-7 PM - WE START AND END ON TIME!
FREE ADMISSION
TOMPKINS SQUARE PARK, NYC
mothernyc.com/lowlife
howlfestival.com



On September 12, JACKIE FACTORY producers CHI CHI VALENTI and JOHNNY DYNELL will present their fourth annual LOW LIFE to crown the 2010 HOWL! FESTIVAL. LOW LIFE is the free and fabulous Sunday evening climax to HOWL! - a two hour spectacular inspired by East Village decades past. Each year's theme is served up in a lavishly costumed production starring dozens of downtown's finest. This year's LOW LIFE 4: BEAT GIRL pays homage to homegrown fifties beatnik culture and the BOWERY BEATS - the rebel painters, poets and performers drifting east from Greenwich Village. The show also sheds light on the Women of the Beat Generation, often overlooked, and their influence on 50's Burlesque.

The BEAT theme of LOW LIFE 4 will be interpreted by multiple dance companies, in vocal and musical performances, burlesque and drag renderings and of course - spoken word! The bill includes international drag icons JOEY ARIAS and SHERRY VINE, Burlesque Queen DIRTY MARTINI and Boylesque King TIGGER!, butoh company VANGELINE THEATER, spoken word icons PAUL SKIFF and BOBBY MILLER, sensationalist AMBER RAY, chanteuse HEATHER LITTEER and the Low Life debuts of BROWN GIRLS BURLESQUE, the RACHEL KLEIN THEATER and the STAGE DOOR JOHNNIES (CHICAGO). As in years past, LOW LIFE features two MCs - recording artist PAUL ALEXANDER (of THE ONES and JACKIE 60) with EMPRESS CHI CHI VALENTI, the show's co-producer.

ENJOY THE HAIRDOS...



BUT THE COMMENTARY IS ALSO BIZARRE...

MORE: COLOURHAIRSTYLE

SUCH PASSION ABOUT A BATHROOM!

TIGHT PANTS/BODY ROLLS

August 26, 2010

THE WEDDING TEST

I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for
over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little
thing bothering me...It was her beautiful younger sister.

My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts,
and generally was bra-less. She would regularly bend down when she was
near me, and I always got more than a nice view. It had to be deliberate.
Because she never did it when she was near anyone else.

One day her "little" sister called and asked me to come over to check the
wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me
that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome. She
told me that she wanted me just once before I got married and committed my
life to her sister.

Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word.

She said: "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last
wild fling, just come up and get me."

I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. I
stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the
front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car.

Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping!

With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said: "We are very
happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better
man for our daughter. Welcome to the family!"

And the moral of this story is:

Always keep your condoms in your car.

UNBELIEVABLY ADORABLE!

ACAPELLA UPDATED

ELIN'S OUT OF THE WOODS

ELIN AND HER TWIN BACK IN HER MODELING DAYS.



Some are giving Tiger's ex-wife Elin points for not trashing him. But he had unprotected sex with many porn stars/hookers w/ no thought of her health, much less their marriage/family. I'd kinda like to hear her scream "Say goodbye to this good p#ssy, mofo!" while waving a wad of cash. I never saw one of his ho's who could touch her beauty. She's got that scandinavian goddess/Britt Ekland look.

BRITT EKLAND



I just read that she may be keeping her mouth shut because slamming him would hurt his brand which she now owns part of. Or maybe she's just a mature, not vindictive, well-adjusted lady. And that's why it's hard for m to envision someone so completely opposite from myself!

REDNECK FIRE ALARM

August 25, 2010

WHY WE LOVE CHILDREN!

1) NUDITY I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, 'Mom, that lady isn't wearing a seat belt!'

2) OPINIONS On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, 'The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents.'

3) KETCHUP A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. 'Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle.'

4) MORE NUDITY A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, 'What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?'

5) POLICE # 1 While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, 'Are you a cop? Yes,' I answered and continued writing the report. My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?' 'Yes, that's right,' I told her. 'Well, then,' she said as she extended her foot toward me, 'would you please tie my shoe?'

6) POLICE # 2 It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. 'Is that a dog you got back there?' he asked. 'It sure is,' I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, 'What'd he do?'

7) ELDERLY While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by t he various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, 'The tooth fairy will never believe this!'

8) DRESS-UP A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, 'Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit.' 'And why not, darling?' 'You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning.'

9) DEATH While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased. The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: 'Glory be unto the Faaather, and unto the Sonnn, and into the hole he goooes.' (I want this line used at my funeral!)

10) SCHOOL A little girl had just finished her first week of school 'I'm just wasting my time,' she said to her mother. 'I can't read, I can't write, and they won't let me talk!'

11) BIBLE A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. 'Mama, look what I found,' the boy called out. 'What have you got there, dear?'
With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, 'I think it's Adam's underwear!'

IS THIS A POOL BOY OR WHAT?

TURN OFF THE HATE!

WOULD YOU SIGN THIS PETITION? I did and will proudly display my free sticker!

"I won't play Fox News in my home, and I'm calling on businesses and other public establishments to stop playing Fox. I don't want Fox spreading hate, lies, and division in my community, and I want to support businesses that are Fox-free."

COLOROFCHANGE

FROM COLOR OF CHANGE:

Many of us already know that Fox News is biased -- but it's actually much worse than that. For years they have used lies, distortions, and race-baiting to divide this country. Recently, it's gotten downright dangerous. Earlier this summer, a heavily armed man got into a gun fight with police after he was pulled over on his way to kill people at the Tides Foundation[1] -- an obscure non-profit that Glenn Beck regularly demonizes on his Fox News TV show.[2]

Fox News is bad news for America -- and it spreads, and is legitimized, partly through TVs in public places.

That's why I've joined the TurnOffFox campaign -- the first part of a larger campaign to diminish the influence of Fox. It's about educating people about Fox and getting it turned off in stores, restaurants, and other public places.

Will you join me? It takes just a moment to declare your own household "Fox free", and at the same time appeal to public establishments in your community to stop playing Fox. And you'll get a FREE Turn Off Fox sticker when you do. Click here:

http://colorofchange.org/turnofffox/?id=1821-1265399

No other news organization that's considered legitimate consistently wages smear campaigns based on lies and race-baiting. But for years Fox News has done exactly that, and the pattern has only gotten worse since Barack Obama entered national politics.



Here are just a few examples:

-- A frequent Fox guest, Jesse Lee Peterson, said that the majority of Black people have poor moral character, and cited "what they did to the dome" after Hurricane Katrina as evidence.[3] Peterson has also used his platform on Fox to claim that 90% of Black people are racists -- against Whites.[4]

-- In a case of naked race-baiting, Fox host Glenn Beck called President Obama a "racist" who had a "deep-seated hatred for White people or the White culture."[5] Earlier that week, Beck claimed that the President's health insurance reform proposals were a form of "reparations" designed to "settle old racial scores."[6]

-- Fox host John Stossel argued that the public accommodations section of the Civil Rights Act -- which prevents businesses from discriminating based on race, sex, and other factors -- should be repealed.[7]

-- Fox News hosts Bill O'Reilly and Sean Hannity were the first to air deceptively edited and incomplete video of Shirley Sherrod's remarks to the NAACP.[8] The video made it seem like Sherrod was confessing to using her position at the USDA to discriminate against White farmers, when she was really talking about the importance of overcoming prejudice. Sherrod lost her job over this misrepresentation, which Fox enthusiastically repeated without seeking the facts. Fox has since tried to pretend it had nothing to do with this smear -- but Fox is the number one reason these kinds of distortions and smears have any part in our national dialogue.

The examples above aren't even a tenth of Fox's vicious lies and smears, and over the years they've just gotten more brazen.

The goal of Turn Off Fox is to reduce the number of public TVs showing Fox News, while spreading the word about Fox's poison (and how it works) to those who don't know.

Signing up for the campaign is just the first step. We make it easy for you to tell us about businesses playing Fox. If you're willing to talk with them, we'll provide you with straightforward materials that explain why they shouldn't be a party to what Fox is doing. And if there are businesses you know that want to tell the world they would never play Fox, you can help them declare themselves a "Fox-free zone."

As businesses Turn off Fox and stand up as Fox Free, and as we encourage our friends and family to do the same, we'll help make clear, to people across the country, what Fox is about. And we'll reduce their ability to do harm.

Please join me in signing up for the TurnOffFox campaign:

http://colorofchange.org/turnofffox/?id=1821-1265399

GLORIA SWANSON WITH JANIS JOPLIN?

RAQUEL: BANG BANG

TAKES A MINUTE TO KICK IN...

CAT 3-WAY

VERUSCHKA IN AFRICA!

WHO CRIES MORE?

CONTESTANTS AT BEAUTY PAGEANTS OR FAGS WHO FILM THEMSELVES WATCHING THE PAGEANT? GAAAY!

BURLESQUE TRAILER

Cher and Christina? Cher looks outrageous. This is either gonna be fun or another Showgirls. For some reason, even though I respect her vocal abilities, I find it so hard to like Christina. She just always seems like a sullen bitch who thinks she's all that no matter what she's playing or singing.

NUTTY GAY-THEMED VIDEO

FUNNY FLIGHT ATTENDANT ANNOUNCEMENTS

BUNION HITS BEANTOWN SEPT 2!

WITH JUJUBEE AND JESSICA WILD FROM DRAG RACE.

"SELLIN' PUSSY IN ICELAND"

YOU MAY BE A MEMBER OF THE TALIBAN IF...



(BY JEFF FOXWORTHY)

"YOU MAY BE A TALIBAN IF..."
1... You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to liquor.

2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.

3. You have more wives than teeth.

4. You wipe your butt with your bare hand, but consider bacon "unclean."

5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.

6. You can't think of anyone you haven't declared Jihad against.

7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.

8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.

9. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four.

10. You've always had a crush on your neighbor's goat.

STRANGE!

SHERRY VINE ON FEAT OF FUN PODCAST



LISTEN: FEASTOFFUN

August 24, 2010

SO WRONG BUT SO FUNNY!

August 23, 2010

KRISTY MCNICHOL AND BURL IVES????

SO BRILLIANT!

August 22, 2010

GREAT NEW SONG BY CEELO

(ALSO KNOWN AS THE VOICE BEHIND GNARLS BARKLEY)

August 16, 2010

I FOUND MY SON!

STEP RIGHT UP AND SHOOT THE PRES!

THIS IS HOW UPSIDE DOWN OUR VALUES ARE: A CHURCH CARNIVAL HAS A SHOOT THE PRESIDENT GAME.



Of course it's treason to even speak of harming a president, but when it's at a church--not a muslim hellhole of a mosque but a real christian church--it's ok. See how the right is blending everything foreign and bad and muslim an...d black and socialist together to inflame people into thinking that our way of life is being threatened by sinister, outside forces that we have to take our country back from?

Nevada's republican senate candidate Sharron Angle has advocated the second amendment of taking up arms to "take...out" her opponent Harry Reid. Why shouldn't good, god-fearing Americans "take out" Obama, too? Half of all the republicans in this country believe that Obama is a muslim who wasn't even born here but somehow snuck into office. Mix religious fervor into it and enough of these trolls will come to think that killing Obama isn't assassination, it's doing god's work. It only takes one. THIS WAS A SHOOT OBAMA GAME AT A CHURCH FAIR WITH EXTRA POINTS TO HIT HIM IN THE HEAD OR HEART. Will any leader in the republican party even denounce this? No, because they know that they'll alienate their ignorant base which has a gun in one hand and a bible in the other.

Do you think this doesn't affect you? I wonder what the church carnival games will be if gays are allowed to marry?

"Kathryn Chapman took a trip to the annual Our Lady of Mount Carmel Big Time celebration last weekend, and she was shocked to see a shooting game with President Barack Obama as the target.

"I just can’t believe how far things have come that now on church property you can shoot the president and get a prize if you hit him in the head or heart," said Chapman, a Medford, Mass., resident who last lived in Roseto the year President John F. Kennedy was assassinated."

MORE: LEHIGHVALLEY.COM

I'M ACCEPTING LATE B'DAY GIFTS!

NOT REALLY A TECHIE, BUT CHECK THIS OUT!

TEA-BAGGERS' DANGEROUS SIDE

JUDY'S BABY DADDY

THE PERFECT ACT FOR THE 9/11 MOSQUE OPENING

August 15, 2010

I'VE FINALLY DIAGNOSED MYSELF

WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS TATTOO?




NOPE! IT'S A RECENT PIC OF WHITNEY HOUSTON!

AWWWW

A MUST SEE DOC

THINK DRILLING FOR OIL ONLY ENDANGERS COASTAL AREAS? THINK AGAIN!

MARIE ANTOINETTE-GATE



According to an article in NY Daily News, Michelle Obama is a modern day Marie Antoinette who is jetting off to Spain in a Gaulthier dress while the rest of the country pinches pennies in a recession. Why don't they go ahead and call her an uppity n(gger? Would the author of this piece be happier if she took a Greyhound to the Jersey Shore in a burlap sack? No, then they'd squawk that she's trashy, ghetto, poorly dressed and not upholding the position of first lady.

Every time you purchase the Daily News, the NY Post or watch Fox you are giving $ to people with a super-conservative agenda which wants to slam anything Obama and obviously his entire family do. Even their vacations! The bizarre thing is that the conservative agenda supports enormous tax cuts for the super-rich while bashing Obama as Marie Antoinette. If we need to take down the Marie Antoinettes in this country, let's share the wealth and have the mega-rich pay a higher percentage of taxes to help those of us who are experiencing financial difficulties. Michelle "Marie" Obama and her husband do support those tax cuts even though they'd have to pay them.

READ THE ARTICLE: NYDAILYNEWS

August 13, 2010

A FEW OF MY FAVORITE THINGS

THE JULIE ANDREWS RE-WORKING--IN HONOR OF MY B'DAY:



Maalox and nose drops and needles for knitting,
Walkers and handrails and new dental fittings,
Bundles of magazines tied up in string,
...These are a few of my favourite things.

Cadillac's and cataracts, and hearing aids and glasses,
Polident and Fixodent and false teeth in glasses,
Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings,
These are a few of my favourite things..

When the pipes leak, When the bones creak,
When the knees go bad,
I simply remember my favourite things,
And then I don't feel so bad.

Hot tea and crumpets and corn pads for bunions,
No spicy hot food or food cooked with onions,
Bathrobes and heating pads and hot meals they bring,
These are a few of my favourite things

Back pains, confused brains, and no need for sinnin',
Thin bones and fractures and hair that is thinnin',
And we won't mention our short, shrunken frames,
When we remember our favourite things.

When the joints ache, When the hips break,
When the eyes grow dim,
Then I remember the great life I've had,
And then I don't feel so bad.

DEMENTED GOSSIP FROM POPBITCH.COM

Hotel check in names of the stars:

Paris Hilton = Ms Heimen P Diddy = Frank Black Simon Le Bon = Mr
Soft Kate Beckinsale = Sigourney Beaver Tom Cruise = Paul Cruise
Alanis Morissette = Flick Beanyo Britney Spears = Alotta Warmheart
Ricky Martin = Sai Baba George Michael = Hugh Jarss Trent
Reznor = Mr ShIt Dannii Minogue = Pussy Jones Naomi Campbell =
Oprah Noodlemantra Ritchie from 5ive = Eddie Vedder Scott from
5ive = Michael Knight Abs from 5ive = Dr Frank'n'furter



Elle Macpherson

deep_stoat writes: "If you were lucky enough to be invited to Elle
Macpherson's Barbados home for a holiday, chances are one day you'd
all go out on her yacht for a little trip. And while you're off
sailing, Elle will suddenly spot a hidden cove she's never seen
before, with what looks like turtles swimming in it. She'll then
suggest everyone goes and explores. Except it's not undiscovered,
Elle does this on every trip, and the crew have been instructed to
'look surprised' when she spots it. It's quite sweet really."



Iglesias

Julio became the second ever Spanish star to have a number one,
Begin the Beguine in 1981. Julio moved his family to America in 1985,
after his father was kidnapped in Spain. Julio's dad, Julio Snr,
died in 2005 aged 90. He married again in 2001, and had a son when
he was 89. Then a daughter was born in 2006 - seven months after
Julio Snr died. Which means that Julio has a sister who is 63 years
his junior.


Breakfast Buffet

If you ever find that Sylvester Stallone is staying at your hotel, be
very careful at the breakfast buffet. Although he, his wife and
his two daughters eat quietly, Sly's youngest is a bit of a minx.
When she thinks no-one is looking, she has been known to switch
the signs on the fruit and vegetable juices and then walk off.


"When I was sitting in Burger King and 'Holiday' came on,I really felt like I was on a holiday" - Wyclef Jean

MORE: POPBITCH

LOVE HER!

I'M SO JEALOUS!

JERSEY SHORE ENACTED BY KIDS

Never seen the original but these brats are adorable. Not sure how healthy these characters are to emulate but probably no worse than violent video games. And what are juice heads that the girl says she on the prowl for? I'm hoping she doesn't mean steroid-users.

1 MORE YEAR IN IRAQ OR 1 DECADE MORE?

WE ARE NEVER LEAVING IRAQ, A WAR WE SHOULD NEVER HAVE GONE INTO. Even the left-y news on MSNBC didn't mention this. You have to find it in a UK paper, The Guardian. So are we leaving in 1 year or in 1 decade, as suggested below?

EXCERPTS:

Ten days after Barack Obama announced the end of the combat mission in Iraq "as pr...omised and on schedule", the country's most senior general said his forces would not be capable of securing Iraq's borders for another decade.

Mr Obama deserves credit for pulling 50,000 troops out, but the fact is
that tens of thousands of US troops will be in Iraq for years to come,
along with 100,000 private contractors and armed mercenaries.

MORE: GUARDIAN

INC.ARCERATION

As many of you know, Arizona governor Jan Brewer has signed a controversial law which would have made it easier for authorities to round up illegal or illegal-looking (ie hispanic) immigrants. Let's set aside the immigration debate and whatever you feel about this law. Rachel Maddow's lead story on her MSNBC broadcast ...uncovers a possible reason that Jan was keen to have this law passed. Perhaps she doesn't dislike mexicans at all. But she'd gladly harness the prejudice against mexicans in her state for profit. It seems that Arizona's private prisons have very close ties to Jan. Lobbyists for the private prison industry work for Jan. In fact, last year Arizona proposed that ALL of the state's prisons be privatized. Luckily, this was struck down as ridiculous.

But 5,000 new beds have been ordered for one private facility. Wouldn't that be profitable if there were suddenly a bunch of illegal aliens apprehended to fill those beds thanks to a nifty new law?

I'm sorry, the existence of private prisons is horrifying in itself. But to think that this dubious industry would be so tied with Arizona state government that it was helping to create the laws is INSANE!

This issue has been highlighted by a recent jailbreak from a for-profit prison where a car drove up to the fence, a cousin/girlfriend (???) threw wire-cutters to inmates over the fence which set off an uninvestigated alarm, the fence was cut and the prisoners drove off. With no staff of this pitiful private prison noticing the alarm, fence, or jailbreak for several hours. How do you not notice an alarm for hours?

Rachel Maddow's re-broadcast will begin airing in a few minutes at 11PM EST and it's her lead story: INCarceration. Truly bizarre. As if we needed an industry we didn't even know existed to pop up and create our friggin' laws the way we know the insurance, gas, gun, war, big pharma, cellphone and food additive industries already do.

WATCH: RACHELMADDOW

August 12, 2010

DIVINE BOLLYWOOD CLIP!

CAN THE CORN!

THIS SO CUTE

TOO BAD THE KID'S EYES WERE SCRATCHED OUT, THOUGH.

AMANDA LEAR FOR THIERRY MUGLER

"YOUR SKIN IS SICK!"

SIGN OF THE TIMES

FRIDAY THE 13TH AND MY B'DAY? UH OH!




ANOTHER BIG REASON TO COME TO ROCKIT! HERE'S ONE OF THE REGULAR DANCERS--SOFT!

IF YOU LIKED PARANORMAL...

August 11, 2010

GABOR CHIN-STRAP!

???

AMERICA'S NEW HERO!

IN TAIWANESE ANIMATION!

A DONG THAT WILL TAKE YOUR EYE OUT!

DO TRY IT!

PHLLIS DILLER AT THE PALACE

HELEN LAWSON: THE REMIX

A REAL BALL-BUSTER!

GOOD OL' FASHIONED FUN!

GNARR-LY DRAG

JON GNARR, REYKJAVIK'S STRAIGHT MAYOR, APPEARED IN DRAG FOR THEIR GAY PRIDE FESTIVITIES.




MORE: QUEERTY.COM


ALSO OF INTEREST ON QUEERTY: SOME NAME SUGGESTIONS FOR THE MUSLIM GAY BAR AT GROUND ZERO PROPOSED BY FOX NEWS DUNCE

DIONNE AND BOY GOERGE!

CONTRASTING BUSH AND OBAMA

GEORGE OBAMA BY JON GOLD:




As far as Obama being like Bush, I think Glenn Greenwald summed it up nicely today in his article:

“…because the President has escalated a miserable,
pointless and unwinnable war that is entering its ninth year. Or
...because he has claimed the power to imprison people for life with no
charges and to assassinate American citizens without due process,
intensified the secrecy weapons and immunity instruments abused by his
predecessor, and found all new ways of denying habeas corpus. Or
because he granted full-scale legal immunity to those who committed
serious crimes in the last administration. Or because he’s failed to
fulfill — or affirmatively broken — promises ranging from transparency
to gay rights.

MORE: PEACEOFTHEACTION

3RD WORLD, HERE WE COME!

THIS IS HORRIBLE! We've got money for a war in Iraq we never should have entered into and money for a war in Afghanistan even though the enemy we went in to fight has left. And we can keep tax cuts for the top 2% of Americans because they worked so hard for their $ that we definitely shouldn't ask them to help the less fortunate in a recession when they have plenty to spare. That would be socialism! Meanwhile, our roads and schools disintegrate. This is a great read. Here's an excerpt:

And what about the economy’s future? Everything we know about economic growth says that a well-educated population and high-quality infrastructure are crucial. Emerging nations are making huge efforts to upgrade their roads, their ports and their schools. Yet in America we’re going backward.

NY TIMES: America Goes Dark By PAUL KRUGMAN



The lights are going out all over America — literally. Colorado Springs has made headlines with its desperate attempt to save money by turning off a third of its streetlights, but similar things are either happening or being contemplated across the nation, from Philadelphia to Fresno.

Meanwhile, a country that once amazed the world with its visionary investments in transportation, from the Erie Canal to the Interstate Highway System, is now in the process of unpaving itself: in a number of states, local governments are breaking up roads they can no longer afford to maintain, and returning them to gravel.

And a nation that once prized education — that was among the first to provide basic schooling to all its children — is now cutting back. Teachers are being laid off; programs are being canceled; in Hawaii, the school year itself is being drastically shortened.

MORE: NYTIMES

HOWL-LELUJAH!

HE SAID WHAT THE WHOLE COUNTRY IS IN THE MOOD TO SAY



Cursing a passenger who hits him in the head with luggage and then sliding down the emergency exit chute with a beer is hilarious. But I actually feel for these flight attendants who've been working since before 9/11. Imagine how their job changed overnight. At one point they were being trained to use guns. Flight atte...ndants are normally people persons in a service industry. But all of these new rules about cell phones being turned off, limited overhead space because passengers want to carry more on and pay less for checked baggage have made everyone on board irritable. So I can't blame the guy. And I really pity the normally straight pilots who are now forced to wave goodbye to everyone as they exist like Julie from the Love Boat.

MORE: SFGATE

CHEESIEST CHOREOGRAPHY EVER?

WHO SAYS NYC CLUBS ARE DEAD?

HERE'S A REAL EARFUL! A drag queen bites off a guy's ear in a NYC club. The really odd thing? I know both of them and they're really sweet people.




ADVOCATE

August 10, 2010

I FOUND MY MOTHER!

MEL GIBSON'S TREASURE TROVE OF MIRTH!

WHATEVER IT TAKES

A BLONDE JOKE

August 09, 2010

RALLY IN NYC AT NOON TOMORROW

Were you excited that Prop 8 was struck down? It will probably go to the Supreme Court now. So if we want gay marriage, the workings of the Supreme Court now take center stage. Obama has not appointed liberal judges with Sotomayor and Kagan. We needed REALLY liveral judges to counter the conservative Supreme COurt which passed the heinous Citizens United case.

I don't want to talk down to anyone, but in case you aren't aware of this diabolical ruling, the gist of it is that large corporations can now, for the first time in history, donate unlimited funds to a political candidate. It was this decision which allowed Target to donate to candidate Emmer, which has resulted in a boycott of Target as anti-gay.

Maybe you don't think the Target boycott is too important. Maybe you don't root for gay marriage above all other causes. But WHO could deny that too many politicians are bought and sold by lobbyists for corporations? This Citizens United ruling will allow them to buy and sell candidates without restrictions. Imagine a candidate paid for by Haliburton who wants to stay at war in the Middle East vs a candidate bought by insurance and big pharma who has paid their candidate to reverse insurance reform. Oil company candidates who poo poo the environment in order to greenlight more offshore drilling paving the way for more disasters like the one in the Gulf.

I'm going to protest this awful Citizens United ruling tomorrow. There are protests all over the country. If you'd like to join me or find one in your own area, I beg you to visit the link below and stand up against bought and paid for candidates. We've already got these, but this ruling will truly make elections a free-for-all for corporate interests. Not yours.

You can sign the petition and/or join a protest tomorrow by clicking on the link below. I hope you will do both and if you're in NYC, I'll see you there!

SIGN/ATTEND: MOVEON.ORG

HELP!

TWO LADIES

"I have this weird thing that if I sleep with someone they’re going to take my creativity from me through my vagina" - Lady Gaga

"I have this weird thing that if I sleep with someone they're going to take my turds from me through my butthole."


If that's true, she must have been gang-raped right before penning the ghastly Alejandro.

TALK ABOUT A SHITTY DEAL!

August 07, 2010

BEA ARTUR'S PRANK CALL

ZSA ZSA GABOR WORKS OUT!

CASHING IN ON KOJAK--W/ AN ALBUM!

STEDMAN THE CARTOON

August 06, 2010

THE "9/11 MOSQUE"

I'm usually not a fan of Mike Bloomberg, but the NYC mayor struck just the right chord when speaking in favor of the proposed mosque to be built near Ground Zero. To nix the mosque's building plans would say that muslims are our enemies and that all muslims, including the vast majority who had nothing to do with 9/11, are terrorists. The notion that it disrespects the people who died there, including muslims, is a bigoted one endorsed by Sarah Palin and John McCain. And when have they ever been right about anything?

The US needs to face the fact that it's ill will towards muslim people allowed us to be lead into a war in Iraq which was baseless. WE ARE STILL THERE. But we were so stung by 9/11 that we wanted to lash out against someone in the middle east. For a republican mayor to take the high road and not play on our ugliest prejudices is taking the high road. I commend Bloomberg and urge you to read his inspiring comments below.

Do I appreciate the muslim faith any more than I do christian or scientology? No, but I respect their freedom to practice their hogwash as long as they don't try to yank the wig off my head or snatch the c@ck outa my mouth. Do muslims hate and disapprove of gays? I'm sure many do, but so do many christians. I don't have to agree with them to acknowledge their rights to worship freely.

BLOOMBERG:

"We may not always agree with every one of our neighbors. That's life and it's part of living in such a diverse and dense city. But we also recognize that part of being a New Yorker is living with your neighbors in mutual respect and tolerance. It was exactly that spirit of openness and acceptance that was attacked on 9/11.

READ BLOOMBERG'S WHOLE SPEECH: WSJ/SB10001424052748703545604575407673221908474.html

MEET JUSTINE BIEBER!

LADY GAGA'S MUSE!

MAN SPRAYS SEMEN..FROM A BOTTLE?

IN A GROCERY STORE. AND HE'S CUTE!



HUFFPO

August 05, 2010

THE ECONOMY IS SO BAD THAT....

FROM MY JUST-AS-CORNY-AS-I-AM MOM, LADY BECKY:


I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

I ordered a burger at McDonald's and the kid behind the counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that?"

CEO's are now playing miniature golf.

If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.

Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM.

McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.

Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.

A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.

Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting.

Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore.

The Mafia is laying off judges.

Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great!!
The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!

And, finally...

I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc.,

I called the Suicide Lifeline. I got a call center in Pakistan and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.

CAMP SUMMER CAMP

FOR TRANSGENDERED KIDS!

FROM SLATE.COM:

The camp experience is surreal, a trip to a planet where we're normal. The kids run wild, doing kid stuff, including improvisational theatre and dance, lip-syncing to Lady Gaga. They prepare for (and fret over) the weekend's climax―a fashion show in which each child, in turn, will march down a runway in a get-up of their own devising. Until they run themselves ragged and then sit in circles in our rooms painting their nails and telling poop jokes. For once, we don't hover over them. It's safe here.



MORE: SLATE.COM

SLAP YOURSELF SILLY!

YOU CAN BE A REAL FLY GIRL!

Can't afford enough mascara to get that hot clumped look you love? Try these fake lashes made from fly's legs. And then you can eat their torsos!

VIDEO

SHE'S GOING DOWN..SIDEWAYS!

DID SHE NEED MORE MAKEUP FOR DADDY'S DRAG?

They dropped the charges for Giuliani's daughter for stealing $100 worth of cosmetics. I wonder if they would have dropped the charges for a drag queen, transsexual or person of color? Dayum. We knew politicians had perks while IN OFFICE, but their relatives still get them after they've left office? Puh-lease. Just rub it in our face. And keep us so broke and scared that we're too worn down to protest or really care about a clear perversion of justice.

THE DEVIL IS LOOSE: ASHA PUTHLI

I love the babyish quality of this singer. I knew the first song which is a somewhat rare disco-funk classic.



Bit how about this footage of Miss Asha singing THE DEVIL IS LOOSE?



I'M LOVING THE SPIN INTRO IN A CAFTAN!



AND SHE MADE IT TO THE 80'S--W/ DIY DRY ICE!



AND SHE WAS A WARHOL/AVEDON FAV FROM BOLLYWOOD WHO MADE A COMEBACK AT NYC'S SUMMERSTAGE IN 2008.

LADY BUNNY VS LADY GAGA!

I SCREAMED AT THIS!

IF YOU LIKE GROANERS...


Family Tree of Vincent Van Gogh:

His dizzy aunt -------------------------------- Verti Gogh
The brother who ate prunes------------------- Gotta Gogh
The brother who worked at a convenience store ------ Stop N Gogh
The grandfather from Yugoslavia ----------------- U Gogh
His magician uncle --------------------- Where-diddy Gogh
His Mexican cousin ----------------------------- A Mee Gogh
The Mexican cousin's American half-brother ------------ Gring Gogh
The nephew who drove a stage coach --------------- Wells-far Gogh
The constipated uncle --------------------------- Can't Gogh
The ballroom dancing aunt --------------------- Tang Gogh
The bird lover uncle ---------------------------- Flamin Gogh
The fruit-loving cousin --------------------------- Man Gogh
An aunt who taught positive thinking ---- Way-to-Gogh
The little bouncy nephew ------------------------- Poe Gogh
A sister who loved disco --------------------------- Go Gogh
And his niece who travels the country in an RV --- Winnie Bay Gogh