PlayStation 3 (the city) Reply to: email@example.com [?] Date: 2008-12-07, 10:54AM EST
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The other night I got so horny that I posted an ad on Craig's List and arranged to hook up with several gentleman callers. Right before I started painting my mug, I remembered that I was low on condoms and popped out to the drug store to pick some up. Once there, I realized that I'd better get both regular sized and extra large, since you never know how accurate those "AOL inches" in personal ads are gonna be. Then I thought, it's a recession, so why not be thrifty and buy the 32-count boxes of each size since you always save buying in bulk!
I could see the puzzled look in the cashier's eyes as I plopped down 3 jumbo boxes of different sized Trojans. I'm sure she was thinking "Does your dick change sizes?" and I was all ready with my comeback--"No, but my asshole sure can!"
So let me introduce myself to you as a slut, who prefers multiple sex partners a day than any zany thoughts of holy matrimony which might impede my activity--or rather in my case, passivity. A year ago, Bette Midler came under fire from gay groups for suggesting on Larry King that gay marriage shouldn't be such a big deal since most of the gays she knew were promiscuous. The truth hurts. Anyhoo, let me also introduce myself as an atheist who values a gay wedding ceremony as much as I do a gay baptism with cosmo's or a gay communion with low carb wafers.
This gives me a different prospective on gay marriage than most. Due to shame, other depraved card-carrying nympho's may not be quite as vocal about how laughable gay marriage is for them, so I felt that a certain voice missing from the homo outrage over this Rick Warren gig at the inauguration. I understand that if your goal is to settle down with your lifetime mate, especially if you live in California where you were just yanked away from your newly-wed when Prop 8 won, you could be quite unhinged right about now. But aside from the differences in our personal outlooks, in my view, the protests against Rick Warren's appearance has been blown waaaaaaaay out of proportion. One problem is that the media always needs a new headline, important or not. This Rick Warren thing kept an Obama's mistake in the headlines for a good week. Now that they've gays have had their sissy hissy fit, the fickle press has moved on to attempt to smear Obama by tying him to Illinois governor Blagojevich's corruption.
But Obama's only allotted the controversial pastor a two and a half minute speech--not a 4-year cabinet appointment. And the crafty president-elect is balancing out the Warren factor by ending the inauguration with a legendary black civil rights activist who is FOR gay marriage. Try finding another one of those in the mainstream black church. (I'll wait.) Obama himself doesn't even support homo nuptials yet he's giving a contrasting a voice to Rick's. And of course everyone knows you save the best for last!
Of course, there are sizable benefits in using Rick for the invocation. Perhaps the whole country will be tuning in to see it's first mixed race president anyway, but those viewers who identify with Rick--ie the extremely backward anti-science bunch-- just might soften up towards Obama and ease our nation's desperately needed return to a more progressive path after 8 dark years of Bush. After the queer backlash, Rick even softened his stance up a little by removing language from his website which banned "unrepentant" gays from his church. Child, don't you know how I wish I lived in California so that I could grab a boisterous gaggle of drag queens and bare-ass chap-wearing to attend that service, now that we're allowed in, and turn his Saddleback Church into the Brokeback Church! Can you just imagine how flawlessly we'd speak in tongues after a snort of poppers and a bump of Special K?
Look, Obama is just throwing the evangelicals a bone. So let's not have the gay community snarling at the man over it--he's the best hope we have. In defense of Warren's selection, Obama even declared himself a "fierce" advocate of gay rights--girls, he's even using queeny Project Runway lingo. That's a sign of great promise! Do we want to weaken him by forcing him to renege (no racial slur intended) on Rick's invitation before he's even inaugurated? Honey, a mixed race man named Hussein has made it into the White House using a brilliant, groundbreaking campaign strategy--shouldn't we let him at least get into office and start squawking if he tries to throw us under the bus then? Rick's brief address just doesn't strike me as a big deal.
Rick's really made a fool of himself--offering as proof of his gay-friendly attitude that he offered Prop 8 protestors water and doughnuts? Darlin', I like to eat just as much as the portly pastor, and that pig knows as well as this one that doughnuts are served with coffee or milk--NEVER with water. What an insult! Stop the press! Call the HRC! Doughnuts and water?!? And Rick's support of Prop 8 was based on a ludicrous notion that if it lost, Prop 8 supporters could become victims of hate speech. How completely absurd! But it worked with his large, ignorant congregation.
But even outside of his congregation, how many religions accept us? Despite all of the complexes my dad gave me, I'm glad he also instilled in me the need to question absolutely everything and the strength to stand up to anyone I disagreed with--even a church which thought I was less than because of the sexual orientation I was born with. I wish more gay people would simply abandon a church which looks down on them--and I'm constantly amazed at muslims homosexuals who try to reconcile themselves with a faith which would stone them to death. Get a grip, gays! Almost all religions denounce us as amoral--so why not take away their power and ignore them as the ancient, contradictory fairy tales they are? And thereby devalue religious institutions like marriage? If civil unions offer the same legal rights, I say TAKE 'EM!
The photo below strikes me as a particularly crazy argument--GOD LOVES GAY MARRIAGE? That's throwing the ball right back into the evangelicals' court. Do you think that they'll ever agree with what a sinner like you thinks God wants?
And if we believe so strongly in separation of church and state, why is a representative of any faith invited to speak at a political function? I'd just as soon hear the mumbo jumbo of one of Obama's Kenyan witch doctor relatives babbling over a caldron than I would any other Christian holy man. At least it would be more entertaining and could feature well-hung African men bouncing around in skimpy clothing. And I stll have half a box of extra large condoms left--I'm just sayin'!
Before you dismiss the Kenyan idea as far-fetched, let's not forget how prominent a part Kenyan witch doctors' have already played in this election. One predicted Obama's win. And Sarah Palin's former church was led by a Pastor Muthee, who she thanked for chanting her into the governor of Alaska's office. Muthee somehow wound his way to Alaska from Africa (?!?!) after the tales of his prowess included chasing a "witch" from Kiambu, Kenya after several car wrecks occured near her house. Maybe Obama can retain Muthee's services to drive out a D.C. area witch--does Ann Coulter live in Washington?
KENYAN WITCH DOCTOR/PASTOR THOMAS MUTHEE PRAYS OVER SARAH PALIN
Of course, homo's aren't the only target of fundamentalists. The morons challenge science! They're also vehemently anti-abortion and Rick Warren's particular church does not view spousal abuse as grounds for divorce. So why aren't women's groups up in arms over Warren's pick? Because they weren't just slapped in the face with a stinging defeat like Prop 8? Or because Rick's speech isn't a big deal? Hell, I love to see the gay community angrily making demands. The gay movement often seems finished now that we have gay-themed TV shows on prime time and a perceived cure for AIDS. But choose your battles, people! On the same day that the Human Rights Commission issued a statement condemning Obama's choice of invocation-giver, George Bush pushed through one of his midnight regulations which allows pharmacy employees to refuse to fill prescriptions which they consider contrary to their religious beliefs. I clocked this madness on Rachel Maddow's MSNBC broadcast and when Rachel asked Rep. Diana Degette what could be done about the situation, her guest said phone the White House today. Drats! I caught the 11:00 PM broadcast of The Rachel Maddow Show and I don't think the president's phone lines were open at that hour. Did the HRC issue a statement about this?
Do you recognize the scope of this new regluation? Some cuckoo Pentecostal cashier could refuse to dispense antibiotics for a child. A woman could be refused the morning after pill and end up forced to have an abortion! A gay man with AIDS could try to refill his life-or-death protease inhibitors only to be told that the born-again pharmacist on duty didn't approve of his lifestyle! Especially problematic would be rural drug stores where a possibly wheelchair-bound AIDS victim didn't have the strength or means to hunt down a kinder, if further away pharmacy. Or I can imagine a spaced-out Scientologist denying me my anti-depressants--and if you think I'm bitter now...
So Bush has just enacted a law which could give religious nuts (who also have a problem with science) the right to conceivably kill gay people! Where's our outcry on that one? I'm sorry, but life or death issues tend to trump matrimonial ones in my book.
I'm filled with joy when gays have the gumption to take to the streets and insist on their rights. It's just that I'm saddened when we only take to the streets to only demand rights which pertain to us. You want people to care about your right to marry? Then you've got to care about issues outside of your own community. We're in a war which a vast majority of citizens no longer support. Our tax dollars are being spent to kill innocent Iraqis at this very moment. A chunk of ice the size of a large city broke off of the North Pole this year. And you're whining because you're afraid that you might not inherit your lover's silverware because of your inability to marry? (I know that there are dreadful situations where dying lovers are not allowed to have their lovers visit them if the patient's family disapproves. Just making a point.) I'll never have children, but I don't want to see other people's children dying courtesy of my tax dollars. Or their grandchildren unable to draw a breath due to man-made climate change. I suppose there are gays who also protest the illegal war in Iraq and global warming in addition to Prop 8, but for most of us to only pop out with a sign when it concerns same-sex marriage strikes me as selfish. If you expect straights to care about your rights, then you need to be a caring person about the issues which affect us all. It's not just because of my promiscuous nature that gay marriage is way down on the priority list when both people and our planet are dying by our own hands.
Michelle Obama stated during the primaries that "our souls are broken." I don't know exactly how one's soul is legislated back to health, but her words struck a chord with me. A dissonant, disturbing chord. We are a nation which casts more votes for American Idol than for our own president. We're a nation who doesn't have a clue what the writ of habeus corpus means, much less that Bush has ripped it away from us, so that we no longer have the right to ask "Why have you put in me in jail?" For years, straights, gays and everything in between have sat back and done little except watch the nightmares of the Bush administration in between updates on Britney's breakdown and Paris Hilton's jail sentences. The whole executive and legislative branch can grind to a halt over a travesty like the debacle of vegetable Terry Schiavo, but we don't have a clue what's really going on until it's often too late, like with Bush's frightful new midnight pharmacy regulations. And how can a democracy, the system we're supposedly fighting to install in Iraq, function if it's voters are largely clueless?
Obama won because the country felt like he was the only candidate equipped to deal with the economic crisis after McCain had declared the economy "fundamentally strong". Neither candidate dwelled on the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan in the last few weeks of the campaign. How tragic! For a "Christian" nation? We don't mind ignoring that pesky THOU SHALT NOT KILL commandment while paying to kill foreigners as long as we sense that this new president can remedy the economy. That way, we can continue to inexpensively drive next door to our neighbor's house because our car has our cigarettes and cup-holder in it. And don't you recall something in the Bible about the love of money being sinful? Yet we heed economic issues and ignore the murders of innocents in our names? That's broken souls for you. With some awfully misguided priorities.
I recently received on email petition asking me to urge Defense Secretary Robert Gates to repeal the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" and allow gays and lesbians to serve in the military. I wrote back that given the current abomination that is the Iraq war and rumblings that our fight in Afghanistan lacks a clear strategy, why on earth would anyone, gay or straight, want to give their life to such ill-conceived fiascos? I remember the last time "Don't Ask Don't Tell" dominated the gay movement over a decade ago. And while I wholeheartedly agree that homo's deserve every right that hetero's have, why would we want the right to kill? The year that this issue was raging, NYC chose as it's grand marshall a lesbian whose only distinction was that she was kicked out of the military when her sexual orientation became known. In her scary publicity photo, she'd posed in fatigues and sunglasses and was holding a rifle. Well, isn't that festive for a parade? The same year, Los Angeles chose Carol Channing as their grand marshall. I was so jealous--LA's choice seemed more fitting than a gun-toting ex-military mama and Carol's a born-again who's not even gay! Thankfully, our calls for gays in the military died down since we've been in an actual war.
But if we gays are now going to make holy matrimony our predominant issue, why did we all seem to miss presidential candidate Denis Kucinich's interview on LOGO, our most-watched all-gay channel? I saw it and burst into tears at this man's sincerity and desire to take our side with conviction on this polarizing hot button issue. Although it seems unlikely that a man with features as elfin as his will ever be elected--especially during wartime--Dennis was the only Democratic candidate to fully support gay marriage. So if gays are so dedicated to same sex marriage, why didn't he become a cause celebre in the our community--he who solely had the nerve to stand up for our right to wed? Why was there no statement from the HRC when Dennis was denied access to a later debate?
Many gays favored Hillary, for no discernible reason. After Obama nabbed the nomination, I chatted with an employee from a gay rights organization here in New York and asked if he was pleased. He was not. When I asked him why, he told me that he was a Hillary supporter. I prodded him for more info and the only thing he could come up with was "Hillary's my girl." Why? A fuzzy feeling she gave them when she walked in the gay pride parade because she wanted your vote? Many gay men are so shallow that I can actually imagine them supporting Senator Clinton because they fancy the notion of a Project Runway challenge in which Hill's inaugural dress is designed. Who knows? But you can't vote on a feeling. You must get to know the issues, particularly if the right to marry is the centerpiece of your movement and you're voting for a candidate who doesn't support it and never has.
HOW DID HILLARY MANAGE TO ESCAPE THIS DEADLY SCENE INN BOSNIA ALIVE?
"I remember landing under sniper fire. There was supposed to be some kind of a greeting ceremony at the airport, but instead we just ran with our heads down to get into the vehicles to get to our base."
--Hillary Clinton, speech at George Washington University, March 17, 2008.
As I mentioned, Rick Warren has been given a two and a half minute speech at the inauguration, not a cabinet position. But Hillary did receive a cabinet position, and one which she's unsuited for. Don't you remember that she tried to trump Obama's foreign policy experience with her own--and her example of foreign expertise was dodging bullets at an airport in Bosnia? Meanwhile, there's video on every news channel of Hillary deplaning on a sunny day as local children practically skipped up to her on the tarmac. Not only was this a bold-faced lie which made her a national laughing stock, if she needs to conjure this easily disproved fib as evidence of her vast foreign policy experience, then the sleazy snake has zero foreign policy experience. Even if she'd been telling the truth and had sought cover from sniper fire, then plenty of gang members and other criminals would be equally qualified to represent out nation abroad. I don't think the fact that Senator Clinton voted to invade Iraq will endear her to the Middle Eastern nations we need to make amends with most, and India's strong ties with the Clintons via donations to her husband's foundation will make the India/Pakistan situation even stickier, as the two neighbors seem to be gearing up for battle as I type this. And we've got a brand new partisan Secretary of State to handle the situation!
After Bush's reign of error, we're hated worldwide. And maybe a planes didn't crash into buildings in your city, but they did in mine and I don't want Hillary, who took the wrong side on the war issue, trying to clean up a deeply-rooted international mess which she helped to create. And if the mess isn't cleaned up yesterday, we're going to have new generations of terrorists which we've created dropping by to introduce themselves to us. Possibly even before rising oceans erode Manhattan, Los Angeles and Miami Beach and New Orleans. And who can afford to move in this distressed economy? If we can move, and manage to make it through our failing infrastructure to dry ground, we won't be able to find any work. 40 million US citizens can't afford to pay their utility bills this month. In the winter. And the Minnesota Senate race rages on, a month after the votes were cast. Of course, after the last two presidential elections were stolen, we're used to it. We're becoming a banana republic without the fucking bananas. And you've got time to worry about a two and a half minute speech?
LYPSINKA, SWEETIE, FLOTILLA DEBARGE AND DIRTY MARTINI PERFORMED AT VISIONAIRE'S XMAS PARTY AT THE BOX LAST WEEK, FOR A TONY AUDIENCE WHICH INCLUDED DIANE VON FURSTENBURG, LINDA EVANGELISTA AND ANDRE LEON TALLEY. WITH FLO IN A BEADED "10" SKULLCAP AND CAFTAN AS SYLVESTER WITH SWEETIE AND I AS THE TWO TONS OF FUN, WE MIMED THAT RARIFIED 8 MINUTE GEM OF SYLVESTER LIVE DOING YOU ARE MY FRIEND. THE BOX IS A SENSATIONAL LITTLE VENUE WITH TOP-KNOTCH SOUND TUCKED AWAY IN THE LOWER EAST SIDE.
BUNION IN HER NEW XMAS DRESS
SWEETIE AS DOLLY PARTON SYNCH'ING HARD CHRISTMAS--V MAGS S CECELIA DEAN STOLE THE SHOW BY SPRAYING CHAMPAGNE ON THE CROWD.
RAVEN O, THE BOX'S NIGHTLY HOST, CAUGHT GOOFING IN HIS/ HER DRESSING ROOM
FROM SKRUFFF.COM'S INTERNATIONAL DANCE AND POP CULTURE NEWSLETTER:
Crazy Birds Attack Chicago Citizens
Chicago authorities issued a warning in June for people walking along Lake Michigan to beware of dive bombing blackbirds after a number of attacks happened which media reports said were reminiscent of Alfred Hitchcock’s classic horror film The Birds.
“Cyclists and pedestrians complain of being pecked after being chased for up to 100m (109 yards) by the creatures,” the BBC reported, “Potential victims are taking new precautions to avoid the birds by changing their commuting patterns or cycling only with a helmet.”
The new aerial threat emerged weeks after British farmers warned that previously docile ravens have started ambushing lambs, sheep and even baby calves, with Scotland one of the worst locations for raids.
“Raven attacks have become a huge problem across a wide area of the country,” farmers representative Johnny Hall told the Guardian in May, “The attacks are so horrific that it's causing mental suffering to people who find the animals,” he added.
Also in Scotland, press reports emerged in March of a crow which dive bombed mothers outside St Margaret's Roman Catholic Primary School in Dunfermline, in one case becoming entangled in the hair of Dee Forrester, 40.
"The next thing I knew something was flapping at my head and I felt claws digging into my scalp," Ms Forrester told the BBC, "I screamed and started running as fast as I could. When I turned round, there was a big black crow sitting on the fence."
ANOTHER INTERESTING TIDBIT:
Barefoot Doctor Bit: What's the Best Way to Eradicate Envy?
Barefoot Doctor: "Envy is misplaced inspiration. We are all artists, our lives are works of art. As artists we need and thrive on influence from others: role models who inspire us in various aspects of the creation process, either by the way they operate their creative process, ie the way they earn their money, style- and quantity-wise, or the way they use their resources, ie the way they spend their money and the lifestyle they enjoy as a result, including the sort of people they appear to enjoy it with.
In our healthy state we are inspired by this input and happily use it as a guide to how we create our own works of art and arrange our lives progressively more beautifully and excitingly for ourselves and everyone around to enjoy.
In our depleted state, when our energy is low, hence feeling less capable of creating the lives we really want, we succumb to envy instead of inspiration, despising the one who appears to be more advanced or progressed along the path of success.
However as all thoughts transmitted have energy, which invariably rebounds on the sender multiplied (what goes around comes around, in other words), this negative output will rebound and further exacerbate your depleted state, thus instigating a downwardly spiralling vicious cycle. The main benefit of envy, providing you remain mindful and awake to the unpleasant sensation it provokes within, is to serve as a default reminder to guide your thoughts away from the negative and to wish the other well instead.
The more you wish the other well, the more you invite the possibility of you attaining to similar or even greater heights of success. By wishing the other well, you place yourself on the same energetic success frequency as them and benefits will follow over time as a result. In fact, wishing well to others, who appear to have or be more than you, and wishing it with a true heart is one of the most effective triggers for instigating a boost to your own success."the most effective triggers for instigating a boost to your own success.”
DJ GANT JOHNSON'S LONG-RUNNING DANCE NIGHT TUBWAY HAS BEEN TURNING OUT MR. BLACK FOR OVER A YEAR NOW. AND THEY'VE WON A RECENT GLAMMY AWARD AND A PAPER MAGAZINE AWARD, BOTH FOR BEST GAY NIGHTS. GANT'S A DJ'S DS AND HIS PARTNER ON THE DECKS, DJ NITA, REALLY THREW DOWN AT A RECENT PARTY AT THE BOX. IF YOU'D LIKE TO HEAR THEIR SOUND, THEIR LAST EMAIL OFFERED 2 FREE DOWNLOADS OF THEIR SETS, INCLUDING SOME RETARDED SHOUT-OUTS ON THE MIC, ONE URGING PATRONS TO HAVE THEIR PETS SPAYED?!? AND IT'S SO RARE TO HAVE A HOUSE-Y GAY PARTY IN NYC WHICH DOESN'T FEATURE THAT DREADFULLY CHEAP CIRCUIT SOUND. (I prefer Set 2)
Dump the male flight attendants. No one wanted them in the first place.
Replace all the female flight attendants with good-looking strippers! What the hell, they don't even serve food anymore, so what's the loss?
The strippers would at least triple the alcohol sales and get a party atmosphere' going in the cabin. And, of course, every businessman in this country would start flying again, hoping to see naked women.
Because of the tips, female flight atten-dants wouldn't need a salary, thus saving even more money. I suspect tips would be so good that we could charge the women for working the plane and have them kick back 20% of the tips, including lap dances and 'special services.'
Muslims would be afraid to get on the planes for fear of seeing naked women. Hijackings would come to a screeching halt, and the airline industry would see record revenues.
This is definitely a win-win situation if we handle it right -- a golden opportunity to turn a liability into an asset. Why didn't Bush think of this? Why do I still have to do everything myself?
If you're in the area, don't miss this incredibly entertaining freak--she's on through 12/31.
FROM A SEATTLE TIMES INTERVIEW:
Q: You usually do your Christmas show in Seattle. Even though you've recently performed in several cities, you've made it a tradition to return to the Northwest for the holidays. What's the attraction, especially since you come from Las Vegas?
A: I was raised in Las Vegas and as anyone knows, Las Vegans are a proud people, trying to better the world through gambling. However, there's a certain je ne sais pas about your moist region that is undeniable. You have such a lovely Apple Maggot Quarantine Area.
NY PRESS SELECTED THE GORGEOUS TS PORN STAR ALLAN STAR TO BE THEIR POSTER GIRL FOR THEIR ANNUAL WHO'S BEEN NAUGHTY OR NICE THIS YEAR.
On their naughty list?
Alex Rodriguez (Madonna’s Bitch)
If adultery alone put us on the naughty list, I would bet that the vast majority of New Yorkers would end up with a heaping pile of coal. But come on, you can´t cheat on your wife while she’s practically giving labor to your second child. And with Madonna? As if Santa and US Weekly wouldn’t catch you for that one.
MICHAEL MUSTO DONS A VARIETY OF COSTUMES FOR HIS YEAR IN REVIEW, WHICH IS TYPICALLY BOTH WTTY AND INCISIVE.
HERE'S A SNIPPET I LOVE:
Early in the year, the Dems narrowed things down to Barack Obama vs. Hillary Clinton—two seemingly unelectable candidates, especially since he didn't seem corrupt enough and she openly cried at one point about how she cares for our country. The pundits said the fact that Hillary showed such vulnerability would destroy her—especially if it was sincere—but then she won New Hampshire, so they conveniently decided the tears are what got her the victory. Hillary was back on top and fortified with Kleenex and waterproof pantsuits!
But she really had something to cry about when Obama picked up steam and got the nomination, a historic occasion that brought on the inevitable squeamish backlash from the white folk. Geraldine Ferraro famously said the guy was only in his presidential wannabe position because he's black—as if that's ever been anyone's easy entrée into the White House. If being different is what automatically propels you to Pennsylvania Avenue, then Ferraro would have easily gotten there with bells on!
With a shocking unflappability, Obama vaulted past the major obstacles, but he created one of his own by handpicking Joe Biden—a potentially sticky running mate because he's the lit keg who'd praised Obama for being such a clean Negro. But all was forgiven as the elder statesman proved to be a model of sensitivity compared to McCain's gumptious partner, Sarah Palin, a walking faux pas who got her cues from the great almighty Gosh (and who was done much more appealingly by sketch comic Tina Fey than by herself). Palin's good-golly demeanor (wink, wink)—which was served up in the purpose of right-wing viewpoints and a clear insufficiency of savvy—was pretty much terrifying. Most memorably, she boasted about how, in parts of Alaska, you can see Russia from your back door. Honey, I can see New Jersey from my window, but that doesn't mean I understand it!
It's a good thing barbecue is so popular in Texas -- worst case, the state's dentally challenged can simply gum their fall-off-the-bone favorite. In ranking the nation's best and worst teeth, two Lone Star State cities -- El Paso and Lubbock -- finish in the bottom 10, with San Antonio and Dallas close behind. Nor is this just a beauty contest, given that poor oral hygiene is linked to higher risks of heart disease, stroke, and even pancreatic cancer.
Our analysis includes stats from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention on the number of people who visit their dentists for annual checkups, the number of no-shows whose choppers are dropping out, and the number of households with fluoride on tap. And since warding off gum disease is key to keeping your smile, we also factored in who's flossing, from Mediamark Research. When the computer spit out the results, it became clear that some drilling is needed in Texas, and we don't mean for oil.
Little Blue Pills Among the Ways CIA Wins Friends in Afghanistan
By Joby Warrick Washington Post Staff Writer
The Afghan chieftain looked older than his 60-odd years, and his bearded face bore the creases of a man burdened with duties as tribal patriarch and husband to four younger women. His visitor, a CIA officer, saw an opportunity, and reached into his bag for a small gift.
Four blue pills. Viagra.
"Take one of these. You'll love it," the officer said. Compliments of Uncle Sam.
The enticement worked. The officer, who described the encounter, returned four days later to an enthusiastic reception. The grinning chief offered up a bonanza of information about Taliban movements and supply routes -- followed by a request for more pills.
For U.S. intelligence officials, this is how some crucial battles in Afghanistan are fought and won.
The director of TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD is dead at 83. I can't think of another film that moved me as much as MOCKINGBIRD. It has to be one of the finest to ever come out of Hollywood. Here's the trailer:
The poster of this video wrote TRICK-OR -TREAT HATERS! How could there be any likers of this insanity? It is good for a giggle and I must admit that I, too, have been wearing those oversized cat-eye glasses lately. They are so wrong!
I wish I had seasonal glad tidings, but new reports from The Nation make Katrina even uglier. I hope you will join me in signing the letter on colorofchange.org to Louisiana's Governor Bobby Jindal and Attorney Buddy Caldwell to demand further investigation of this horror. I just wish that colorofchange didn't capitalize "black" and "white". Minor nitpick!
A new report in The Nation documents what many have claimed for years--for some Black New Orleanians the threat of being killed by White vigilantes in Katrina's aftermath became a bigger threat than the storm itself.
After the storm, White vigilantes roamed Algiers Point shooting and, according to their own accounts, killing Black men at will--with no threat of a police response. For the last three years, the shootings and the police force's role in them have been an open secret to many New Orleanians. To date, no one has been charged with a crime and law enforcement officials have refused to investigate.
The report is helpful, but given Lousiana's horrible record on protecting its Black citizens, justice will only come if we demand it.
I've joined ColorOfChange in calling on Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal, Louisiana's Attorney General Buddy Caldwell, and the U.S. Department of Justice--to conduct a full investigation of these crimes and any police cover-up. Will you join me? It takes only a moment:
In the two weeks after Hurricane Katrina made landfall, the media created a climate of fear with trumped-up stories of Black lawlessness. Meanwhile, an armed group of White vigilantes took over the Algiers Point neighborhood in New Orleans and mercilessly hunted down Black people. "It was great!" said one vigilante. "It was like pheasant season in South Dakota. If it moved, you shot it."
"The Nation's" article tells the story of Donnell Herrington, Marcel Alexander, and Chris Collins--a group of friends who were attacked by shotgun-wielding White men as they entered Algiers Point on September 1, 2005. As they tried to escape, Herrington recalls, their attackers shouted, "Get him! Get that nigger!" He managed to get away. Alexander and Collins were told that they would be allowed to live on the condition that they told other Black folks not to come to Algiers Point. Herrington, shot in the neck, barely survived.
And there's the story of Henry Glover, who didn't survive after being shot by an unknown assailant. Glover's brother flagged down a stranger for help, and the two men brought Glover to a police station. But instead of receiving aid, they were beaten by officers while Henry Glover bled to death in the back seat of the stranger's car. A police officer drove off in the car soon afterward. Both Glover's body and the car were found burnt to cinders a week later. It took DNA analysis to identify the body.
These are only a few of the stories of Black folks who were accosted in Algiers Point, and you can read more in The Nation. But unless you speak out, we may never learn the full extent of the violence. Journalists have encountered a wall of silence on the part of the authorities. The coroner had to be sued to turn over autopsy records. When he finally complied, the records were incomplete, with files on several suspicious deaths suddenly empty. The New Orleans police and the District Attorney repeatedly refused to talk to journalists about Algiers Point. And according to "The Nation" journalist A.C. Thompson, "the city has in nearly every case refused to investigate or prosecute people for assaults and murders committed in the wake of the storm."
The Nation article is important, but it's just a start. For more than three years now, these racist criminals have by their own admission gotten away with murder while officials in New Orleans have systematically evaded any kind of accountability. We have to demand it.
Please join us in calling on state and federal officials to investigate these brutal attacks and the conduct of Orleans Parish law enforcement agencies, and please ask your friends and family to do the same.
My mom belongs to a singing senior group in Chattanooga, Tennessee. In addition to hymns and holiday favorites, they perform some really heavy choral junk in latin. I have been begging her to lighten it up and enter with canes singing STAYIN' ALIVE. But this heavenly choir has beaten my mom's group to the punch and then upped the ante. Wait until you hear the harmonies for HEY YA--not to mention the ad libs! And the last number--pure dynamite!
HERE'S KURTIS BLOW PERFORMING CHRISTMAS RAPPING ON TOP OF THE POPS 1980. I have never understood the line about "dancing in their socks"--is that because people took off their wet shoes? And I love it when he pairs "too" and changes streo to stereoo to make it rhyme. Next had a 90's r&b hit with TOO CLOSE based on a sample of this Kurtis Blow.
Aussie drag sensation Courtney Act has landed a deal to promote Sheer Cover mineral make-up, which Leeza Gibbons hawks on infomercials in the states. Requiring a rather heavy grease-paint foundation myself, the idea of any sheer, powdery foundation is ludicrous for most drag performers. And Leeza is painted out of her mind with a variety of foundations in her own ads for this product. But this "miracle" make-up isn't primarily marketed to drag queens with beards and other flaws to hide, and Courtney assures me that she was shocked by the product's effectiveness. I met Courtney briefly while dj'ing for an OUT magazine's OUT 100 party in NYC, and the pretty young thing has lovely skin which definitely doesn't require a thick mask of maquillage. She was being honored for being voted a finalist in AUSTRALIAN IDOL and snapping up a record deal with BMG. As far as Sheer Cover, you check out Courtney Act's pitch and see if it would work for you.
COURTNEY--I never understood the name until her Wikipedia entry informed me that it was a play, with an Aussie accent, on "caught in the act"--HAS ALSO SNAGGED THIS FUN COMMERCIAL FOR A WIG LINE.
HELLO! I'm available for endorsement deals--but I guess drug dealers can't really have ads, can they? Weight loss products? Gerbil food, perhaps? Dildoes? There's gotta be something!
Ken of long-running NYC cable show THAT'S KENTERTAINMENT is featuring two of my favorites, Charo and Carol Channing on his December 25th broadcast at midnight on cable channels 34/82, depending on what cable service you have. I think that Carol Channing is actually a puppet, but who cares? And yes, Charo will be performing her 1978 Salsoul hit MAMACITA, DONDE ESTA SANT CLAUS? For a sample of his spoof of CHARLES IN CHARGE (CHARO IN CHARGE) visit THAT'S KENTERTAINMENT.COM. The following week (1/1/09), Ken's guests include Justin Bond (aka Kiki of Kiki and Herb) and visiting cabaret sensation Meow Meow.
AUDIO FOR MAMACITA FROM YOUTUBE: "I hope he won't forget to pack his castanets!"
STILL ABLE TO ROCK A T-SHIRT, LIKE ON HER 70'SSALSOUL ALBUM COVER!
I idolize the wacky latina spitfire Charo, and got the thrill of my life a couple weeks ago when Dan Matthews called and said "Someone here wants to speak with you." It was Miss Cuchi-Cuchi herself! Aside from "Lady Bunny, I think you and me are joined at the hip", I didn't understand much of what she said. She was doing a press junket for Spanish TV for her new anti-bullfighting song. Dan later told me that Peter Falk of COLUMBO fame and Charo's neighbor rang her up to say that his mexican maid had called him to in to watch Charo on spanish TV and he wanted to tell her that she looked great. Her response? "You only have one eye! How can you see if I look great or not?"
CHARO WITH PETA'S DAN MATTHEWS IN MIAMI RECENTLY
Another tid-bit. Apparently, Charo has a drop-dead gorgeous son. When she and Dan met a dazzling blonde beauty of an anchor woman on their junket, Charo was pulling out pictures of her son to try to fix them up because of the beautiful babies they'd make together. And Dan said she was totally serious! She also does her own gorgeous hair!
AND WHLE WE'RE ON THE SUBJECT OF CAMPY CHRISTMAS DISCO, THIS WILL BE HEARD TONIGHT AT SPLASH'S FREE TEA (SPLASH BAR FROM 7-11) ALONG WITH THE WEATHER GIRLS' FOLLOW-UP TO IT'S RAINING MEN, WRITTEN BY PAUL JABARA ND PAUL SCHAFFER--YES, THE ONE FROM LETTERMAN--DEAR SANTA (BRING ME A MAN FOR CHRISTMAS).
I am so excited to announce that I will be headed back to Atlanta, GA for the last 3 weeks in January to appear in Ansley Park Playhouse's production of VERANDA 2, in the role of Miss Charity Divine. Shows are Thursday-Sunday.
(Click on pic to enlarge or even better, click the above link for an even bigger, more legible version.)
It's a fast-paced, wacky comedy and I'm taking over the role from Bubba D. Licious, an Atlanta drag institution. Unlike my filthy nightclub act, my parents, who still live in Chattanooga, will be able to drive down and catch their "son" performing some less offensive material. But don't think the comedy has no bite to it. Here's a quote from writers John Gibson and Anthony Morris, whose other play, PEACHTREE BATTLE, was the longest-running theater production in Atlanta's history.
FROM ATLANTA'S CREATIVE LOAFING MAGAZINE:
Of course, prolific writers with such a high-batting average of hits have to be prepared for criticism. Gibson and Morris say they take no offense at those who would call their shows "low-brow," or dismiss their work as artistically lacking when compared to other theaters.
"Our critic is the theater-going audience," Morris says. "They come back week after week. So I don't necessarily need someone to tell me if my show is good or not. I know by ticket sales whether or not it's good."
"'Roseanne' was the No. 1 show on television for three years," he says. "And it was very low-brow. But it was low-brow all the way to the bank."
21st-century slaves: 300,000 children are in domestic bondage in Haiti.
A World Enslaved By E. Benjamin Skinner
There are now more slaves on the planet than at any time in human history. True abolition will elude us until we admit the massive scope of the problem, attack it in all its forms, and empower slaves to help free themselves.
Standing in New York City, you are five hours away from being able to negotiate the sale, in broad daylight, of a healthy boy or girl. He or she can be used for anything, though sex and domestic labor are most common. Before you go, let’s be clear on what you are buying. A slave is a human being forced to work through fraud or threat of violence for no pay beyond subsistence. Agreed? Good.
Most people imagine that slavery died in the 19th century. Since 1817, more than a dozen international conventions have been signed banning the slave trade. Yet, today there are more slaves than at any time in human history.
(Author unknown, forwarded from Lady Esther Gin's fool ass)
BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!
JOHN MCCAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
SARAH PALIN: You betcha he crossed the road, but let's not talk about that, let's talk about energy policy, and how gosh darn hard it is for a middle-class hockey mom to manage the budget of the only state in America with a massive surplus, especially while surrounded by countless Russian and Canadian chickens we have to keep an eye on.
HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure - right from day one! - that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either "for us or agin' us.” There is no middle ground here.
DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?
COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken...What is your definition of crossing?
AL GORE: I invented the chicken.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.
OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain... alone.
JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay, too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side.’ That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.
GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
On Sunday December 27th, The Fatback Band will perform their first US gig in 15 years at the Union Square Ballroom. I didn't grow up with their music, but I got to know them when I moved to NYC and GOTTA GET MY HANDS ON SOME (MONEY) was lighting up the dancefloor at the Pyramid. Maybe they were more of a regional thing. Other hits include I FOUND LOVIN' and SPANISH HUSTLE. After a little googling, I realized that a young Debra Cooper was one of their back-up singers before she left to sing with the divine group Change, later recording with C & C Music Factory and having her own solo smash PRIDE (A DEEPER LOVE). I'll bet she has some tales to tell!
FROM THE INVITE:
The legendary Fatback Band is one of the greatest dance/funk bands of all time. Back in the day in NYC, they ruled both the street & the dancefloor and they haven't played a gig in NYC in over 15 years, because they have been on a mission to FUNKIFIZE Europe & Japan.
Maybe you noticed this on this week's Soul-Patrol Times and maybe you didn't. But I just wanted to make sure that you got the word. With all of the bad news on the economic front, I could sure use a SERIOUS injection of THA FUNK in my life, just about now and I think that this is going to be it!!!
And I'm not talkin about no "fake funk" or "light funk", I'm talkin about that greasy azz gutbucket sweatbox kinda funk that you can's peel off of tha walls unless you have a brand new putty knife.
(BUNNY NOTE: THAT IS SOME SERIOUS FUNK!)
I haven't seen the Fatback Band live, since I was a teenager. Oh I've heard their live album, recorded in Japan a year or so ago, so I know that they still deliver what few others in the history of Black music have been able to deliver. Check out the FATBACK BAND LIVE on Soul-Patrol.Net Radio at the following link and listen for yourself.... SOUL-PATROL.NET
(BUNNY NOTE: THIS IS DEFINITELY WORTH A LISTEN!)
The legendary Fatback Band is one of the greatest dance/funk bands of all time. When I was a teenager in NYC, the Fatback Band ruled BOTH the street & the dance floor. Well they haven't played a gig in NYC in over 15 years, because they have been on a mission to FUNKIFIZE Europe & Japan. However in 2008, the mainstream media claims that NYC mired in a recession, , NYC with 200,000 in people facing unemployment in Financial services jobs, is actually looking at a DEPRESSION.
THESE FOLKS NEED AN INJECTION OF FUNK MUSIC IN THE WORST WAY. CLICK HERE FOR $30-$ 40TICKETS.
CHECK OUT THE FATBACK BAND PERFORMING BACKSTROKE. THIS IS SOME SERIOUS DANCIN'!
AND IF YOU LIKE IT REALLY GREASY, WHY NOT ATTEND WITH BURGER KING'S NEW FRAGRANCE, FLAME? I'M NOT KIDDING!
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Here's a review which must have been written by a publicist.
Smell me, Feel me, Touch me! December 19, 2008
Reviewer: jerry sandusky from Rochester Hills, MI United States
I received my Flame cologne 3 days ago...the last 72 hours have been amazing. As soon as it arrived I decided to spritz my neck with a tiny sampling before heading out to do some grocery shopping. At first I thought it was coincidence...I saw two different ladies in the produce area tilt their head back as their eyebrows raised, then slowly, slowly lowered. Then again, in the deli, a gaze of familar wonderment overcame a female patron as I stood next to her as she oogled the $8.99/lb. roast beef. Ten minutes later, at the fresh meat counter, I bumped into Betty... As she asked the butcher for a 16 oz. porterhouse, she must have "sensed" me... She said "Hi", nostrils flared. Needless to say, the ground chuck wasnt the only grinding going on this night... Thanks BK!!!
It was a frosty winter night, but Labelle was performing together with a new album out for the first time in 30 years. I blogged it and then waited until it had sold out to buy my ticket. Bummed! Then Lahoma Van Zandt came to the rescue with two comps--a Christmas miracle! So we trekked up to 125th Street to the legendary venue to see the rock/funk/outer space trio who rocked the 70's. Many gay sisters were spotted, including Tabboo! in a beplumed hat, Noel Alicia, Bernard Blythe, Stephen Spriggs, Hilton Als, Dino Deguiciss (sp?), Keith Price, Michael Paoletta and Bobby Shaw. And before my camera died, I caught lesbian royalty Kate Clinton arriving. I'm not a big fan of stand-up, but you can't help but love her warm humor. Nona Hendrix is an out lesbian so Kate was probably connected in some way from back in the day. Loads of press there as well, including two different Italian reporters.
After listening to everything from rare grooves like Gwen McCrae's KEEP THE FIRE BURNING to Alicia Keys to REHAB, the concert started with a bang. Whoopi Goldberg made a surprise intro and whipped the crowd into a frenzy saying things like "Do you know how many other girl groups have come along and TRIED to do what they did?"
Then with no fanfare, lighting cues or any other technical wizardry--much less entering on a space ship in Larry LeGaspi--the group walked out on stage to no music. Patti started crying and so naturally I did too. She was soaking in the applause and clearly savoring the long-awaited moment with her sisters. Nona looks the same (like Iman's cousin) and had on the most glammed up outfit of the three with a jeweled headdress, Sarah was working an impressively high shoe and had dropped a lot of weight since I saw her at Nona's solo show last year. I was disappointed that Patti hadn't wigged out her look until she turned around and you could see huge feather sticking straight out of her butt area, and her tail-feather action got a laugh when she shook it.
They opened with MISS OTIS REGRETS from their latest album. Patti can do almost no wrong in my book and she rarely disappoints. She's one of the most passionate and theatrical singers I've ever seen. But what I was forced to realize is that even though I love Patti's voice, I prefer her solo material to Labelle's, which was always on the rock tip. Patti's solo stuff is pure soul. Labelle had some fantastic songs with gorgeous vocal arrangements like ISN'T IT A SHAME, WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU, MESSIN' WITH MY MIND and their only major hit, LADY MARMALADE. Labelle also featured some stellar production--so I was a definitely shocked to hear synthesized horns spoiling the arrangements.
There were sound problems from the beginning. I couldn't hear the band during the first part of MESSIN' and when Sarah Dash took center stage to speak, her mic was barely on. She mentioned something about Obama being a blessing. (Patti, with a much louder mic, interrupted her.) Nona took the stage to intro one of her compositions by saying that at a time when everyone is trying to define a relationship as between a man and a woman, this song was about a love between soulmates. (Wink! Wink!)
After about 40 minutes, the amps blew. For an entire song Patti and the girls (all in their mid-60's) sang a song which the audience could only hear through the monitors. Then Patti sensed there was trouble and asked for a new mic repeatedly. Since their monitors were on, the gals could hear just fine. So after several more minutes, Patti tried talking to the audience on dead mic. Why the fuck didn't some manager or engineer run up and explain the situation? I realize that unions are necessary, but my experience working with union sound engineers is that they are cocky assholes who can't be fired and they often don't give a shit because their dream gig would be roadie for a rock band. So they are already pre-disposed to disliking a drag queen with a cd and refuse to follow even simple instruction like turn up the track.
But Labelle isn't a drag queen with a cd backing track. They're a legendary band having a long overdue resurrection. For no engineer to get off of their seats and run down the aisle to them to explain that it wasn't the mic as Patti floundered on stage was tragic. Where was her manager? Make-up artisit? Friend? Anybody knows more about tech stuff than I do so, if I can spot the problem, it should be obvious. A little defeated, the group decided to take an intermission.
After several minutes, an Apollo spokesperson came out and said that drinks were on the house, which indicated that it would be a while. Apparently, the amps blew. I split during the intermission. Here's what someone who stayed wrote:
Dear Lady Bunny:
Big trouble at the LaBelle concert. Basically, it was cancelled after 4-5 songs and a brief a capella stint following an announcement that there was a "power outage."
Everything started well. Whoopie Goldberg introduced the group. I'm not a fan, so I can't identify what they sang. But I liked what I heard, and the crowd was totally loving it. Soon, Patti LaBelle seemed to be running out of steam. She stood with her back to the audience, hunched over the piano. She "jokingly" asked her buddies, using sing-song, to help her out. Sarah Dash jumped to the rescue by thanking us all for being there, etc. etc.
The concert resumed. Then LaBelle's voice could not be heard. At first, we could hear everyone else. Patti tapped her microphone, in a motion commonly used to test whether it is working. Nona Hendryx offered her microphone to Patti, who first refused it, then later accepted it. Slowly, the other singers (Sarah and Nona) started indicating that their microphones weren't working either.
Nobody rushed out to offer anybody a working microphone. Eventually, the singers seemed to agree that the microphones weren't working, and eventually an "intermission" was announced at about 9:15pm (the 8pm concert had begun at 8:30pm). By about 10:15pm, it was announced that there had been a "power failure." Someone in the audience asked why the lights were still on. No answer.
Eventually, Patti, Sarah and Nona returned to sing a capella with a large chorus (where did they come from?). They sang two songs, very nice. They were very apologetic. We filed out with the promise that our tickets would be honored Saturday night at 8pm. Can't make it? Please talk to the box office. We filed out, hopped on the "A" train, and were gone. Happily, the Donut Shoppe in Park Slope is open 24 hours, so the evening ended perfectly after all.
I was shocked to learn that 40 million people in the US will not be able to pay their utility bills--in a winter month, for chrissakes. And Schwarzenegger has just put a halt to hiring of state employees and is laying off 235,000 state employees for 2 months without pay beginning Feb 1st. I mean, I know I've seen a lot of empty nail salons, articles on cutting your own hair to chop salon expenses, and heard about a cobbler interviewed on NPR whose business has shot up 400% because people are repairing their shoes again instead of buying new ones. And I know that Broadway shows are closing left and right--these are just examples of what I'm seeing personally. Flights being cancelled, performers' New Year's Eve gigs cancelled, club budgets down, Xmas parties scrapped, etc. Most of my friends don't have mortgages to pay off so I'm unaware of that nightmare. And I'm actually feeling quite happy that I didn't follow my parents' advice and invest--cuz now they're sleeping on my sofa! (Kidding!) I'm certainly no whiz at economic issues, but I don't think anyone knows what's around the corner. Obama is projecting that a stimulus package of more than 1 trillion may be needed to get us on the right track. Coming from the taxpayers' empty pockets?
What a perfect time to demonstrate that old democratic principle of taxing the rich! After the auto and banking industries are bailed out, someone suggested that other large, failing industries like newspapers be subsidized as well. Should whopping bail-out fees be dumped on individuals who need bailing out their damn selves? For the last 8 years, Bush has given insane tax breaks to the rich, who have gotten wealthier and wealthier as the rest of us struggled. Now that the shit has hit the fan, it's high time for them to pitch in--they're the only ones with money! One report (sorry, my fact-checker has the holidays off but I think it was on Air America Radio) claimed that because of loopholes and businesses registering in the Caribbean, very little corporate tax is EVER paid by many companies. Then they start operating at a loss and suddenly ordinary folks who are already struggling must pay their way? I don't think so. I'll freely admit that economics is not my strong suit, so maybe I'm oversimplifying this. But if so much money is needed, then it can only come from people who have it--the rich. Problem solved!
Oh, I forgot! Big companies can hire lobbyists to create loopholes and demand bail-outs despite the fact that if the banks and auto companies are any indication, they are failing because of their unfair business practices and their production of poor, gas-guzzling products. Well we may not have lobbyists, but we have mouths and pens and email and most of us can still afford an envelope and a stamp. Time for us to stand up and make some demands of the representatives we've elected. For 8 years, again and again, the Bush administration has swindled us on every front and we've let it happen. That has to change. Otherwise we're going to continue to be footing the bill for spa vacations and bonuses for failed execs. Before my pocketbook is opened up to bail anyone out, you can better believe that my mouth will be open protesting it. I hope you'll join me! I just watched a depression era film last night and thought of waiting in a soup kitchen line hoping to slurp some warm grey gruel before I shuffled back to my shelter in some busted heels. And y'all are like: "Bitch, you wore busted heels before the recession so don't try it." See y'all at the cobbler's!
Sunday at 4:00 PM, Turner Classic Movies will air the 1978 Disney flick RETURN TO WITCH MOUNTAIN, starring Christopher Lee and Bette Davis. It's not as sick as her last film, during which she died during shooting her role as a witch and was replaced by a black cat with someone doing a Bette-like voiceover. At one point, I believe they actually put a cigarette in the cat's mouth! I love Bette during all periods of her career, but like her arch rival Joan Crawfors, she made some pretty out there sci-fi/horror flicks towards the end. For more info on RETURN TO WITCH MOUNTAIN and even to watch a clip (I suggest the second I COMMAND YOU segment, where her delivery is insanely self-parodying) click HERE. And if love grande dames of the cinema playing Disney witches, Angela Lansbury's on at 6:00 PM in BEDKNOBS AND BROOMSTICKS.
THIS WITCH MOUNTAIN CLIP FEATURES A VILLAIN WITH BAD SKIN, MOLECULAR MOBILIZTION AND A CAGED GOAT!
BETTE DAVIS IS COMING TO KILL YOU!
BETTE INTERVIEWED BY MICHAEL PARKINSON AND LOOKING VERY CHIC IN A PERKY SHORT FLIP
This is a very touching story about life, death and friends. It's certain to strum your heartstrings and touch your soul. I normally don't post mushy blog entries, but this one below I couldn't help. ...
Nothing like a snowy day in NYC to make you long for sunnier days. And who better than the seriously demented 80's cable star Marie Lynn, with her truly unique soprana and wig, to warm our hearts with the magic of music? You must not miss the "jazz" ending! It's worth the crappy video quality, but bless whoever posted this wacky gem.
PORT ST. LUCIE — Police are seeking an arrest warrant for a man accused of hitting his wife after she asked to smell his penis to determine whether he was cheating with another woman, according to a police report released Wednesday.
The 37-year-old victim told investigators her husband of three years punched her face and kicked her arms and legs Monday night after she accused him of having an affair.
The victim said she told her 25-year-old husband as he used the restroom "to display his penis to her so that she can smell it," the report states.
She said she asked him to show his genital area so she could determine whether he was cheating with another woman.
As she went to sniff her husband's penis, he reportedly punched her mouth and started to kick her when she was on the floor. The husband then fled the scene.
Police saw bruises and red marks on the victim's mouth, legs and arms.
She became uncooperative when told a warrant would be filed for her husband's arrest.