THE TECHNICAL VIRGIN
The PBS KIDS Sprout network has fired the host of “The Good Night Show” upon learning that she appeared seven years ago in videos called “Technical Virgin,” which dealt satirically with anal sex and masturbation. PBS’s president said the videos “undermine [the host’s] credibility with our audience.”
BRACE YOURSELVES AND CLICK HERE TO WATCH THE 'SCANDALOUS" VIDEO: TECHNICALVIRGIN
THE OTHER OTHER WHITE MEAT
LOVE CHINESE CHICKEN? BETTER CHECK THAT MENU!
THE MILKSHAKE SONG
From CAN'T STOP THE MUSIC w/ Valerie Perrine:YOUTUBE
NEW ACT FOR AMERICANS WITH NO ABILITIES
WASHINGTON , DC (AP) - Congress is considering sweeping legislation, which provides new benefits for many Americans. The Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNAA) is being hailed as a major legislation by advocates of the millions of Americans who lack any real skills or ambition.
"Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society," said Barbara Boxer. "We can no longer stand by and allow People of Inability to be ridiculed and passed over. With this legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant special favors to a small group of workers, simply because they do a better job, or have some idea of what they are doing."
The President pointed to the success of the US Postal Service, which has a long-standing policy of providing opportunity without regard to performance. Approximately 74 percent of postal employees lack job skills, making this agency the single largest US employer of Persons of Inability.
Private sector industries with good records of nondiscrimination against the Inept include retail sales (72%), the airline industry (68%), and home improvement "warehouse" stores (65%) The DMV also has a great record of hiring Persons of Inability. (63%)
Under the Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million "middle man" positions will be created, with important-sounding titles but little real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose and performance.
Mandatory non-performance-based raises and promotions will be given, to guarantee upward mobility for even the most unremarkable employees. The legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations which maintain a significant level of Persons of Inability in middle positions, and gives a tax credit to small and medium businesses that agree to hire one clueless worker for every two talented hires.
Finally, the AWNA ACT contains tough new measures to make it more difficult to discriminate against the Nonabled, banning discriminatory interview questions such as "Do you have any goals for the future?" or "Do you have any skills or experience which relate to this job?"
"As a Nonabled person, I can't be expected to keep up with people who have something going for them," said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her position as a lug-nut twister at the GM plant in Flint, MI due to her lack of notable job skills. "This new law should really help people like me." With the passage of this bill, Gertz and millions of other untalented citizens can finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.
Said Senator Ted Kennedy, "It is our duty as lawmakers to provide each and every American citizen, regardless of his or her adequacy, with some sort of space to take up in this great nation and also find a place for all illegal aliens no matter how useless they may be."
CLINTON SINGS LENNON'S IMAGINE
With a chorus of 40 Israeli and 40 Arab children.YOUTUBE
THINK YOU HAD A WILD NIGHT?
THANK YOU, SUNRIZE HIGHWAY!
For sening this clip! Carol Channing worship is in full swing on this blog--here she demonstrates her hectic "third arabesque" move along with other bits and pieces of Carol/Liza interviews on Larry King.LIZAVERSUSCAROL
FRED PHELPS' COMEUPPANCE
Fred Phelps' Westboro "Baptist Church" takes pride in protesting at soldiers' funerals. He finally gets what's coming to him.YOUTUBE
SPIEGEL 1969 CATALOGUE
Thanks, Chaz, for sending this chic treat. A whole Spiegel catalogue on line with wacky commentary. Wigs! Falls! Lashes! Prints! 1969 was a very good year...SWANKPAD
IF YOU NEEDED MORE PROOF...
...that creepy Ann Coulter was way off-base, just watch this clip in which she diagnoses Bill Clinton with latent homosexuality due to...just watch it!YOUTUBE
HOW TO DANCE LIKE A WHITE GUY
I LOVE ART!
Especially when it's inspired by me and created by latin hunks on myspace!
(CLICK TO ENLARGE--NOT THAT ANGEL'STRADE NEEDS ANY ENLARGEMENT!)
PROPAGANDA AT WORK
WASHINGTON TIMES: Half of Americans now say Iraq had weapons of mass destruction when the United States invaded the country in 2003 -- up from 36 percent last year, a Harris poll finds. Pollsters deemed the increase both "substantial" and "surprising" in light of persistent press reports to the contrary in recent years.
HUFFPO's Alex Koppelman dissects this depressing and senseless development.HUFFPO
HEDI KONNT FISTS BUSH
Or sings about it, anyway. This lovely lady's from Dublin.YOUTUBE
LET'S HEAR FROM MORE ARABIC WOMEN!
This is amazingly powerful: SWITCH3
A TURD'S TURDS
Even Bush's Feces & Urine Are Classified Top Secret.
All Of It Captured And Flown Back From Europe
By Wayne Madsen WayneMadsenReport.com
Even Bush's crap is classified top secret. According to our Austrian sources, Austrian newspapers are currently abuzz with special security details of George W. Bush's recent trip to Vienna. Although the heavy-handed Gestapo-like security measures meted out to Viennese home owners, business proprietors, and pedestrians by US Secret Service agents and local police before and during Bush's visit received widespread Austrian media attention, it was White House "toilet security" ("TOILSEC"), which has Austrians talking the most.
The White House flew in a special portable toilet to Vienna for Bush's personal use during his visit. The Bush White House is so concerned about Bush's security, the veil of secrecy extends over the president's bodily excretions. The special port-a-john captured Bush's feces and urine and flew the waste material back to the United States in the event some enterprising foreign intelligence agency conducted a sewage pipe operation designed to trap and examine Bush's waste material. One can only wonder why the White House is taking such extraordinary security measures for the presidential poop.
WHOLE REPORT: RENSE.COM
>> Dad of the Year <<
Chevy Chase calls daughter a whore
Some people think Chevy Chase is funny.
This is from a recent magazine interview:
"My youngest, who's 17, seems to be identical
to the way I was in my perception of the world.
I mean, I can remember the first time I called
her a whore. We just laughed for half an hour.
Because she's anything but. But she gets it
immediately and laughs. I'd call her every day
down at school; she might pick up and say,
'Whoretown!' She said something the other day
like, 'Dad, how much should I charge?'"
I THINK IT'S HILARIOUS!
BUNNY DOES DALLAS
From Alan Peppard's column in The Dallas Morning News: SHE'S NO LADY
No, you weren't imagining it, that was a drag queen strolling through the W Hotel – a very famous drag queen. While the Meeting Professionals International convened in Dallas, event planner and reality TV regular Steve Kemble threw together a soiree for them at the W. Among the highlights was drag DJ Lady Bunny, whom Steve flew in to spin tunes.
Another highlight: models in black latex bodysuits cruising through the crowd on electric scooters, offering hors d'oeuvres.
Strolling! Honey I was prancing! Shee hee! I'm infiltrating the red states! I must say that the new W is awful glitzy. And honey, will those Texas gals ever make your hair feel small! I did giggle listening to western-themed disco "hit" DEPUTY OF LOVE in their fab gym. (Don't laugh!) I also reunited with my Pyramid-era drag sister Tangella Deville. Anyone remember this rarified drug--I mean--drag diva of yore? She did a mean live rendition of Nancy Sinatra's SUGARTOWN, which is mentioned on this Wigstock memories page on the the official WIgstock site: WWW.WIGSTOCK.NU
. I think it she performs SUGARTOWN on the original version of WIGSTOCK: THE MOVIE, a film short by Tom Rubnitz of PICKLE SURPRISE FAME. Somebody please put it on youtube!
Speaking of PICKLE SURPRISE, since filmmaker Charlie Atlas, who inherited director Tom Rubnitz's masters uploaded PICKLE, it seems to have created a mini-sensation. Someone even emailed me dying to know exactly what Sister Dimension is saying in one line: For the record, it's "Place ham thusly."
Tom would be so tickled that PICKLE has been rediscovered! Here's one entusiastic email about it:
Bunion - my friend Jane from NJ has been playing "Pickle Surprise" to her two boys - Sid 3 & Jake 8 and they want to make a new "Pickle Surprise" - funniest thing - Jake wants to be the pickle man and Sid wants to be RuPaul (Tonight they called me and Sid was saying"Mmmmmmm Tasty") - obviously FABULOUS SICK KIDS! Jane told them - that's Bunny - that's Rupaul - oh dear lord. Anyway - we've racked some ideas around but I wouldn't want to undertake this without your blessing, Darla. By the way, I would play the Lady Bunny role. Jesus and hail cher full of grace - what do I get myself into?
ON A DIFFERENT NOTE::::::::
and you should post this on your blog
I work at a law firm and being obsessed with "Pickle Surprise" I have been playing it for everyone at the firm - and being the gayest thing in the firm I have a lot of friends there ... also - it must be watched minimally twice to get it down ..... so this afternoon - after a gay liquid lunch with a company that is trying to lure loooooooooore me away because they know a gaynesse dish is better than a straight dumbass + with lots'o $ and I said - YESSUM - another bottle of wine - WELL when I got back to my office and was stumbling around my office gathering the ipod, manpurse, et al, this secretary and her attorney - some new kid - first year associate must be 26 years old (dear time machine) came into my office to ask me to KEEP IT DOWN! The office on the other side of me was never filled (or never by a big tall glass of milk doofus) and he said "WELL YESTERDAY I KEPT HEARING THIS WEIRD SONG OVER AND OVER" =====AND I JUST HEARD IT AGAIN!" ..... oh dear - well I told him it was "Pickle Surprise" and that I would send him the link but I had to get out of the office and then get trapped in another tropical monsoon - but who cares - PICKLE SURPRISE LIVES ON!
MORE ON TOM RUBNITZ:
FROM VBD.ORG: Until his untimely death from AIDS in 1992, Tom Rubnitz produced short, humorous videotapes featuring some of New York's most outrageously talented musicians, artists, and drag queens. Influenced by mass media entertainment, Rubnitz crafted hilarious videos which simultaneously celebrated and parodied pop culture with bountiful energy and inventiveness.
By the way, Tom's entire catalogue, WIGGY, SEXY. DESSERTY, can be purchased, or if your'e cheap, you can just watch the clips on this site:VDB.ORG
Some highlights include Ann Magnuson's absolutley dynamite MADE FOR TV.
FRIEDA AKA FRIDAY
THE MOTHER SHOW starring the unreal FRIEDA, THE LIVING DOLL, who whipped Wigstock audiences into a frenzy before retiring a few years ago.
Sister Dimension at her finest in THE FAIRIES--you must watch the clip!
WIGSTOCK: THE MOVIE--the clips not too representative of the whole piece but it does feature French Twist.
And STRAWBERRY SHORTCUT, a companion to PICKLE SURPRISE, which features Billy Betond and Sister D. in elf drag!
Oh, and THE DRAG QUEEN MARATHON, which is so ancient that I'm actually wearing a bare midriff ensemble as the Pyramid "girls" take a limo (which Tom sprung for) around Manhattan on a sightseeing and drinking binge.
This is insane! A drag with 5 inch nails smoking "seductively" while discussing her lashes, outfit, jewelry and trip to the seaside. Miss Understood, who sent it to me, sai it looks like me but my eyes aren't that big!YOUTUBE
This is the national costume of the USA, as interpreted by our recent Miss Universe candidate.
OUT OF ESTROGEN?
Then eat soy! Interesting article in The Guardian.
SHOUL WE WORRY ABOUT SOYA IN OUR FOOD?
Whether you know it or not, you'll probably be eating soya today. It's in 60% of all processed food, from cheese to ice cream, baby formula to biscuits. But should it carry a health warning? Felicity Lawrence investigates...
..."We discovered quite quickly," he recalls, "that soya contains toxins and plant oestrogens powerful enough to disrupt women's menstrual cycles in experiments.
WHOLE ARTICLE: GUARDIAN
BRUSH YOUR LIPS!
This was a comment on a recent blog entry. I thought it was so funny (and informative) that I thought I'd post it as it's own entry. Thanks, Mitzi X!
I simply shape my eyebrows using tweezers, always pluck the hairs inside the lower eyebrow area as this will widen your eyes giving you a more youthful appearance. Here are a few beauty tips passed on to me from my grandragmother Lily Savage.
'Peach princess' a warm natural tint in a panstick form, is ideal for a daytime make-up use your fingers or a sponge(not the one you clean the car with) for a smooth professional finish.cover with a dusting of translucent face powder, removing any excess with a brush.
Pink or a warm terracotta only, don't go piling on the brick red you'll only look like a victorian whore.
To Achieve Cheekbones
Get your back four teeth removed and smoke low tar fags sucking these really pulls the cheeks in.
Have an injection of silicone for the chubby cheek look!(madonna take note!)
Either red or pink. Never use a blue or purple lipstick unless you want to look like a cardiac arrest victim. Brown lipsticks are ridiculous. who the hell ever had brown lips? Its not natural! Blood red lipsticks make teeth appear startlingly white. An insipid pink lipstick can make teeth appear yellow. Blot with tissue after appling the first coat of lippy and dust carefully with some face powder to seal it. Reapply another coat and voila your lipstick with stay put all night you can even eat a kebab! A cheap red lipstick will stain your lips a permanent red - good! isn't that what we want? so buy cheap lippys. the ones that come free on magazine covers are best, its like gloss paint and won't come off even with a brillo pad.
When you brush your teeth, brush your lips as well, it gently exfoliates them and will plump them up giving you a fashionable parisian pout.
FOR THE ELDERLY DRAG QUEEN
Beat an egg white and paint a thin coat over your entire face and neck and allow to dry. Watch what happens, it tightens the skin so you can barely speak or blink and then after a while it cracks giving our skin the appearance of an elderly dinosaur's.
An elasticated knee support, worn on your head, will give you the most amazing instant facelift.You need to be wearing a wig or a turban to do this.There! twenty years younger, it pulls the skin tight as a drum, facial expressions are impossible but you'll look fantastic.
Love Mitzi X
GEORGE MICHAEL GOSSIP!
Not exactly a reliable news outlet, but good gossip is good gossip. And there's even a slide show of George and his alleged trick from London's notorious Hampstead Heath park. NEWSOFTHEWORLD
FROM A MYSPACE BUDDY NAMED KEVIN
So I was getting ready to meet my boyfriends family, and I hoped that I would measure up to their high standards.
I felt some-what assured that I would be accepted and treated warmly because I had dressed in my sunday best.
I was very happy that I remembered to use my silverware correctly..... They were all on a high protein diet, and appear to have some very bizarre cravings, but I didnt want to step out of line and mention that Great Uncle Ed was making a pig of himself.
They said it was a shame that I was gay, because Cousin Linda had seemed to have taken a fancy to me. She just stared and me and rubbed herself alot. I moved a little closer to my honey.
She smiled with toothless grin and said "I could just eat you up", as her tongue licked her robust red lips a dead animal fell from her mouth.
So, I just closed my eyes, grabbed my stomach........and gave her something to nibble on, while she waited for dessert.
I'M THE GREATEST STAR
Performed by Ethel Merman, Carol Channing, Ann Miller and Della Reese--on THE LOVE BOAT! Carol is so chic and gets a demented close-up!YOUTUBE
And don't miss Ann Millers solo #--she's a dancing fool! YOUTUBE
Here's a blogger's tribute to Ann's trademark hair:RANKANDBILE
CNN SNAPSHOT: 7/9
This was written over a week ago but I forgot to finish and post it. But since someone read me that I'm not writing enough anymore--and they're correct--I thought I'd offer this unfinished, half-baked ramble to try and appease them. It's almost 2 weeks old now and North Korea is forgotten as Iran takes center stage as public enemy #1.
Completely crazy bullshit passing as news! CNN anchor John Roberts against a red silk flag billowing in the background--it matches his "youthful" rouge as North Korean leader is discussed. I like John's gray bouffant hairstyle. (In unison: Well, get used to the look, you old bitch!) John Roberts is a pretty man who resembles a bug-eyed Peekipoo, and he nervously shuffles his papers as they cut to commercial in a not-quite-ready-to-fill Tweety Bird look-a-like Paula Zahn's shoes. I suppose she has the night off for botoxing, or bumping her teeth up one more unnatural shade of blue-white.
SNL or MAD TV parodied it years ago, but the visuals/chirons/whatever you call them, like the red flag background, have gotten more and more distracting, and more and more like propaganda. Unless it was more subtle so I'm just realizing it. (Or I'm more sober and am just realizing it?) Or it's a figment of pot-induced paranoia. But wait! I haven't smoked any. Or have I? Why, someone must have slipped me something!
Ok, so I'm a mess, but to the masses, what message is this backdrop trying to send? Little. Asian. Different. Worse. That was a very sad attempt on my part to mock a probably forgotten ad for some little yellow pill which had a more successful ad campaign than name a few years ago, but to most, I assume the flag suggests Danger! Communist! Asian! Military Aggression! But why is a flag needed to send any message, other than the "news" coming out of the anchor's mouth?
No, not to a nation of attention-deficit morons increasingly weaned on bleeping, popping, light-up video games. Or the dumbed-down genrations ahead of them who can't even claim video games as an excuse for their vacantness.
So is CNN just showing off it's special effects department? Or is this just a further dumbing down of everything, like the Top Ten Countdown of most popular stories on CNN.com. Every night, in Paula's prime time spot, stories like tonight's "Hillary Swank speaks out about her divorce" holds equal weight with the launching of missiles by one of the axis of evil? Hillary was the #2 story tonight. No cheap #2/shit jokes about Hill, alright? (Not Hillary Swank, anyway. Every night, the countdown/dumb-down enables lurid tabloid tales like the woman who was run over by a policeman on Daytona Beach to out-rank the death of Ken Lay? Who cares what spot Ken Lay's death has on the countdown! I don't want the idiots who log onto CNN.com to decide on the placement of news stories--how about ranking them according to their their relevance? Their seriousness? Their importance? Their newsworthiness? Hey, I now know that reckless-driving the cop in Daytona was fined $115, CHRIST! but aren't there news items with broader implications than "She got hurt. A cop done hurt her. She was sunbathing when it happened to her!"
And why are these tragic if insignificant tales replacing real news? Maybe so we'll forget about the real news? You don't have to look hard to catch it. This morning, Tony Snow was quote as categorizing Ken Lay as "an acquainatance" of the president. A few hours later, Lay was "part of the president's inner circle" who Bush had even nicknamed "Kenny Boy." George and Laura flew to the 2001 inauguration in Lay's private jet. In other words, the president pays Tony Snow with our tax $ to lie to us. The press corps won't always challenge Snow to his face, but they'll wait a few hours and pop in a bit of the truth which contradicts him, right before diverting us against the dangers of a heart attack to which Ken Laid To Rest had succmbed.
We're all at risk, you know. Especially me. I'm fat. I ain't young. I have stress at my job--well, my girdle does, at least! It was so easy for me to get sucked into the high risk factors for fatal strokes. But as much as they may interest me, health tips are not what should fill up prime time news.
Another story CNN missed but which lefty ladies Madge Weinstein and Randi Rhodes were buzzing about today? The branch of the CIA which was hunting bin Laden has been closed
with little fanfare. But wait, we haven't found him, yet! The guy behind 9/11? The tragedy that struck us so deeply that we had to wait years before we could "honor" it with a piece of crap like Nicholas Cage's upcoming disaster flick? Did anyone see the disbandonment of the Bin Laden squad on TV? How about interviewing relatives who lost love ones about how that makes them feel that we've given up the search for the bad guy? Too heavy.
And Hilary's finally talking about her split with Chad Lowe, who she divorced in May due to his substance-abuse problem. Poor Chad. Must be tought when your brother's a brtter-looking, more successful guy. Hell, even your Oscar-winning, gender-bending wife makes a better-looking guy. So we won't be hearing about Bin Forgotten.
Besides, there's a new threat emerging from the East! Kim Jong-Il, Mr. Roberts reports, watches his people starve, focusing instead on the military to prove that he's a force to be respected among world leaders. Kim sounds rotten and ridiculous, but even if he has to shoot off a few of his misguided firecrackers to drive his point home, at least he seeks respect from other nations. Unlike Bush, who could disdains worldwide public opinion against his illegal war which he could barely muster a skeletal coalition to help him fight. Don't feel left out, guys. Bush doesn't care about anti-war sentiiment coming from Americans, either. And besides, Americans are obese, not starving. Although what was the cause that Faith Hill's concert, Anderson Cooper's top story, was benefitting tonight? Oh yeah, Katrina victims. Those people on stranded on their rooftops did seem a little 3rd world-y to me. I mean, what has our nation come to when country artists have to hold benefits to care for the hurricane vctims who our country con artist of a president has forgotten? Oh well, I guess it's a "chocolate city" so it doesn't have the best of publicists.
I don't pretend to be knowledgeable about North Korea or the severity of it's missile threat, so I can't analyze the significance of recent events there. But I did think it very curious that it's severity warranted comments a press conference by Condolezza, not the president. who was "busy" today sounding off on immigration from a Dunkin' Donuts. (Well, he learned the speech, big words and all!) And I think it's really strange that last night, this was seen as a threat. And tonight, the experts are dismissing their puny Korean missiles as ineffective, unable to reach even Alaska? Isn't the real point that the US, broke and unable to win the two wars it's currently fighting, is now seen by North Korea or Iran not as a superpower who must be minded, but as a country whose nuclear warnings can be challenged at will? You can snigger at their arsenal like two schoolboys measuring their cock sizes. Sorry, Kim, but America's will probably always be bigger. But the fact is, the US can't intimidate the axis of evil into doing what we want anymore. Are the Iranian and Korean leaders just crazy or is this a huge shift? They've realized that that the US will invade countries which don't have nukes so they' better hurry up and stockpile them. And it really makes me feel safe that Bush was we just gonna wait and see if those missiles could hit Alaska before we stopped them?
Gee, I hope not. A friend of mine is on Rosie O'Donnell's gay family cruise up there! I've not always been a Rosie fan, but I did give her points the other night when interviewed on CNN, she claimed that you don't choose to be gay. Dick Cheney is the most republican guy on earth yet his daughter' a dyke. Good point, heifer! Hope she's that feisty on The View, so I'll have a new reason not to ever watch it.
Star Jones is in trouble again. She screamed at her at a valet
in the Hamptons. It's so much easier and to focus on celebrity gossip and silky red flag backgrounds and countdowns than trying to dissect North Korean political aims. Hey, I'm writing a commentary on the worst celebrity outfits in the Star. I like trash, too and enjoying trashy tabloid headlines takes a lot less time than reading between the lines of what ought to be TV news journalism, not tabloid fluff and propaganda masquerading as news. But as Anderson Cooper likes to say, "We're keeping them honest." But we've got to stay on our toes and keep THEM honest.
This video of Carol Channing singing JAM TOMORROW, JAM YESTERDAY may cause delirium similar to Carol's own. I have never loved her more than I do after watching this. The end pose alone is magnificently retarded, but the choreography throughout, executed in a windswept platinum bob and long white sleeves with gloves (hungh???), is truly outrageous.
MADAME SPOTTED AT THE TOWNHOUSE!
No, not a madame, pimping out boys at the Upper East Side's upscale hustler bar, but rather THE PUPPET COMEDIENNE!PROCEEDATYOUROWNRISK
STEM CELL VETO
Bush's first veto occurred because stem cell research crossed "a moral boundary." Look, you turd, no one needs lessons in ethics from a greedy, lying butcher. And do you remember that ol' separation of church and state? With admittedly cute kids in every shot of the newscast (including one little girl who flipped him off
) this cheap trick should have also been used by advocates of the research. They could have surrounded themselves with pitiful victims of cancer, Parkinson's, and the many other afflictions whose lives stem cell research might save or ease. Or had a slide show of cancerous organs like this yummy liver below to inspire fear of life-threatening disease and reinforce the need for cures. 67% of the country supports stem cell research. You'd think Bush's low poll numbers might make him think twice about an unpopular decision as his first veto in 5 and 1/2 years.
"These boys and girls are not spare parts.", he said. Well, neither are the thousands of US soldiers and Iraqis who died in your quest for Iraq's oil. As Randi Rhodes pointed out yesterday on her brilliant AIR AMERICA broadcast, Bush doesn't even worship God. He worships money. She suggests that right-wingers have taken note of how successful governments like Saudi Arabia have been in keeping citizens/believers in check with fundamentalist religion--it's a form of mind control and it doesn't even matter what the religion is. That's why Bush's rhetoric is contradictory to itself. Thou shalt not kill. Go to war and kill. Protect the life of a discarded cell. Torture a human being. His evangelical supporters are too sheepish to question the party line. But if our population blindly follows evangelical preachers who inextricably link church and politics, then preachers can spout, as they did in the last presidential election, that a vote for John Kerry is a vote for the devil. It's sad but true, but most people don't want to think, much less analyze politics. It's much easier to just follow "the christian way" and not question. I'll never forget the time a religious seamstress was late in finishing one of my costumes. She'd waited until the last minute and then when there wasn't enough time to finish my frock. Her excuse? "It's in God's hands now." I was like, "Well how the hell did it get out of your hands and into God's?" People are so lazy that they use God as a catch-all which absolves them of the responsibility for their failings, but also of the need to think something through themselves. And with the government controlling much of the news media and even "liberal" news outlets like CNN increasingly tabloidish in content, we need the facts more now than ever. But perhaps because of the unpopularity of his veto, press wasn't even allowed at the veto signing..
So sometimes Bush's policies are christian and pro-life, but more often they're pro-death an suffering, whether starting an illegal war with possibly more on the way, leaving Katrina victims to perish, torturing, ignoring AIDS, keeping our health care system in the hands of crooks, add your own personal favorite outrage here. Randi pointed out that Tony Snow announced that private companies WILL be allowed to engage in stem cell research--so in other words, it's not murder of cute kids like the ones in the background of his veto photo op, if private companies can make money off of it. The same way big business is making, excuse the pun, a killing off of the war. I cannot recommend Randi's shows enough. Before the news even hinted at it, she was damning the Bush administration for forcing US evacuees from Lebanon to sign promisory notes guaranteeing that they'd pay the government back for their safe passage to Cyprus. Embarrassed by their own greed, the government stopped this practice due to the public outcry against it. Well, you can't cry out against something unless you know it exists. So please tune into Randi 3-7 PM Eastern on AIR AMERICA and try it. Even if you hate politics, her comedy makes the medicine go down very enjoyably. Even if it isn't broadcast in your area, you can listen online for free: AIRAMERICA
BUSH GROPES MERKEL
I really can't comprehend this one. Jon Stewart did something on it but my cable's out but I'd only heard about it on AIR AMERICA . I had to see it to believe it. At the G8 Summit, not only did the dunce chew with his mouth open and curse Hezbollah into a mic he didn't know was on, he also tried to massage the female German chancellor, who appears to shocked/repulsed by his touch. There was also some embarrassing incident with a flautist which I can't find online. IS THIS REALLY THE LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD? It's a retarded goon! Is he back on the sauce/drugs/both? The fool simply does not know how to act when there's no Rove aroud to coach him or no radio transmitter like the one he wore in the back of his suit during the debate with Kerry. No matter what your politics are, surely this is more inappropriate international protovol than the DIxie Chicks criticizing the president while in London a few years ago. The bizarre thing is, HE ACTUALLY DOESN'T KNOW HOW HATED HE IS! THAT SOMEONE WOULD RECOIL FROM HIS TOUCH! He's used to yes men. German's are not the warmest folks in the world anyway, but I'm glad this gal put him in his place!
WATCH THE TURD GROPING A FELLOW HEAD OF STATE: CROOKSANDLIARS
PUT SOME (NANCY) GRACE...IN HER PLACE
If you despise CNN's Nancy Grace as I do, you'll enjoy this clip, in which a sweet young Elizabeth Smart (in a divine flip) shuts down the rotten ol' snapping turtle. Nany's response is her typical phony, caring self. Nancy is so rotten that when CNN interviews her, she ends each segment with "Thank you, friend." Yucch!CROOKSANDLIARS.COM
AMAZING GRACE (JONES)
New Grace Jones clips on youtube.com, including a scintillating Jean-Paul Goude-inspired Citroen commercial and a two-part 1983 Letterman interview! She's completely incredible! "Not the gorilla!" And a performance of Below The Belt w/ fake snow and jump-roping back-up dancers! Though I'll bet there was some real "snow" somewhere on the set. Grace explains her many clones in her one-man show to Letterman, saying the clones were used so that no one would know when she was on or off stage. I'm sure that this helped a lot when she needed to "powder her nose" between songs! I worship this creature!YOUTUBE
CLOWNS VS OLD PEOPLE
THE FINAL BATTLE--INSAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNEEEEEEEE!YOUTUBE
ELAINE LANCASTER IN MIAMI HERALD
My twisted drag sister from Miami got a whole article! Do it, you whore!
Every diva has her day. But South Beach drag queen Elaine Lancaster is still going strong after nearly a decade.
By LYDIA MARTIN
A glam blond in full evening gear sweeps into the women's bathroom at Opium to check her mascara. Nearly seven feet tall in heels, she's as hulking as a couple of still-celebrating Heat players here to guzzle champagne.
But the girls crowding the mirror don't even blink. This is South Beach. Drag queens are hardly anything to gawk at any more.
Nobody knows it better than Elaine Lancaster, one of the last drag queens standing in a town where boys in boat-sized stilettos used to own the night.
Back at the start of the South Beach renaissance, they had nightlife carte blanche, breezing past velvet ropes because they were the magic potion that got celebs and club kids flying freak flags.
Things are a lot less imaginative these days. The party crowd is standard issue and way straight: Guys in untucked designer shirts, girls in the smallest black dresses their carb-free diets allow. Now you just have to agree to blow $800 on a bottle of Cristal, and you're as good as inside Opium and the adjacent Privé, pretty much the most coveted nightspots on the Beach.
You should be mortified that the bottle arrives at your table literally flaming, some rocket thing taped to the side to announce what a big spender you are. But you're into it, because you're what passes for a player now.
Back in the day, you had to add something to the party. You had to have some sort of edge. But Elaine, polished Southern diva with comic wit, is no crybaby. She couldn't afford to get stuck in the South Beach past. That's why she survived it.
''I arrived in Miami on July 15, 1997. The day Gianni Versace was killed. I came because everything was happening here. But it all turned on a dime,'' she says in her twang, the picture of overblown femininity in padded bra as she leans forward to pour you another Grey Goose and soda in Privé's VIP room. Privé hooks her up with a bottle and a table Friday nights. Because she's part of the show.
''The tourists still want to see you. It's not that the party ended after Versace died, but it did become less edgy. Worked out just fine, though,'' Elaine says with a warm smile. She's not one of those clichéd queens, offering bitter snaps and reading everybody who goes by.
She's not beyond a little dishing every now and again (and who is, really?) but she's about being a class act, not an eye gouger. She likes making folks feel embraced by the party, not mocked by it.
THE ALTER EGO
''The corporate events pay very nicely,'' says the alter ego of James Davis, born in Alabama and raised in Georgia. Dad sold tractors, mom was a homemaker. They're all still tight. ``I've done the conservative PGA. I've done the [South Beach] Food & Wine Festival. I just did an event for Hewlett-Packard, $2,000 for two hours. There are still plenty of people to entertain.''
Elaine, 6-feet-2 in silk stockings, much taller after she's raided the size 10 ½ shoe racks at Neiman Marcus Last Call, doesn't whine because the gay boy scene is not so jazzed by drag queens any more. Or because there isn't much of a gay boy scene, for that matter. She has always soberly carved out her drag queen career, which is why she still has one.
''Drag queens are not very much in vogue these days, but the exception is Elaine Lancaster,'' said Maxwell Blandford, marketing director for The Forge, one of the nightspots where Elaine regularly appears. Blandford first hired her to work at Warsaw Ballroom in 1997.
''She hasn't fallen out of favor because she's about glamour, not camp. She positioned herself not as a tranny or a cross dresser who's trying to pick up the guests, but as an actor. Because she's serious about her work, she gets a lot of the corporate bookings,'' Blandford said.
THERE'S A DIFFERENCE
So what's the difference between a cross dresser, a tranny and a drag queen, you ask James a couple of days after Privé? He's looking like a cute, clean-cut boy, munching on a turkey burger at Soyka on Biscayne Boulevard in a gingham button-down, Levi's and crocodile loafers.
''A cross dresser is usually a heterosexual man who wears women's clothes for sexual gratification,'' he says, Elaine's Southern accent still with him. ``They like the way it feels to have nylons on or whatever. None of that is a turn-on for me. I have never identified as a woman. I'm not a tranny who is trying to pass for a woman. The last thing I want to do when I'm not working is be in drag.''
He may have a healthy detachment from his character, but his dates rarely do.
``The men that I'm emotionally drawn to and have things in common with don't want boyfriends who are drag queens. And the men who are drawn to Elaine, well, that's about a fetish. I'm not going to turn Elaine into a sex object.''
But James, who is happy to tell about his cozy past with a pro basketballer, and the night the cameras caught him in a clinch with a certain A-list actor at Casa Casuarina, has always had a weakness for the spotlight. So he has learned to deal with the part that's a drag about being a drag queen.
``My parents gave me a Charlie McCarthy ventriloquist doll when I was a kid. People would have me at parties to do my act. Later I got into magic. I guess I'm still doing magic. Instead of making things appear, I'm making things disappear. But I'm still a ham. What's great is that when the superhero costume comes off, I can relax and enjoy anonymity.''
James, who doesn't want his age out there, studied American history and business administration at the University of Kansas. But he never expected to leave with an extra degree in drag.
``The university had a huge Halloween costume contest one day and I entered it. I did a redhead, sort of Dottie West meets Ann-Margret. Everybody was flipping out. Being in drag is like putting on a suit of armor. Have you ever put on a Halloween costume and the role playing gives you a certain amount of power? I became addicted to it.''
After college, he moved to Dallas where he worked retail by day and did drag just for giggles at night. It didn't become a way to make a living until he moved to Miami. And that only happened because Versace was dead.
``I knew Gianni from doing showroom work for him in Milan as a boy model. I came to South Beach to be in the fashion world. But Gianni was killed the very day I got here and that changed the whole scene. So I had to come up with something else.''
ELAINE IS BORN
Which is how Elaine Lancaster was born.
``I always thought of her as the illegitimate love child of Lana Turner and Burt Lancaster. There's this sense of glamour that borders on the gaudy. She would probably prefer a beer out of the bottle, but she drinks champagne just to keep up appearances.''
The polish is what sets her apart, says Michael Capponi, one of South Beach's hottest promoters, who hires Elaine for weekly parties at Privé and Glass.
''She is a society drag queen, not an old lush,'' he says. ``She's extremely sophisticated and wears $10,000 gowns. You wouldn't see the old-time drag queens at some black-tie event at the Biltmore or at Roy and Lea Black's house mingling with the society folks. But you see Elaine there.''
James hung out with a lot of other drag queens who worked the Beach. He learned from their mistakes.
'I would look at these people and think, what a mess. They would make money, buy a box of Kentucky Fried Chicken and give the rest to their drug dealers. I said, `That's not gonna be my life.' ''
James saved the cash the nightclubs paid Elaine and bought a four-unit apartment building off Biscayne Boulevard back when real estate was a steal. He lives in one unit and rents out the others.
'I bought the building after a friend told me, `You can be young and poor but you can't be old and poor.' ''
James thinks there's a bigger future out there for Elaine, something closer to Dame Edna territory. Elaine has had a taste: She was in one episode of Wings, played a small part in the 1998 docudrama The Versace Murder, hosted direct-from-South Beach segments for E! Entertainment Television.
But for all the love, there are some in the gay community who look down on Elaine, suggesting drag sets back a movement that today is focused on finding mainstream acceptance. But James doesn't sweat the button-down contingent.
``So many people try so hard to divert attention from their sexual orientation. I think what I do helps bridge the gap. I entertain a lot of straight people who wind up not feeling threatened and learning something.
``Plus, in the end I think I'm much more of a man than most of the muscled-up Marys I know.''
PRANK CALL W/ MR. ROGERS
Make sure you check out STICKS and STICKS 2 and 3. Well, after you've listened to LADY ELAINE 100 times! Am I the only one who could not believe this crap was on the air--even as a child? I-AM-BORED.COM
BUSH CURSES HEZBOLLAH
I'm sure you've all seen or read about the mic being left on at the G8 (or considering Bush's IQ, the G7and 1/2) Summit, which recorded candid comments between Bush and Tony Blair. You can read about it here
or hear it here
. Or I'll just tell you, Bush says "See the irony is that what they need to do is get Syria to get Hezbollah to stop doing this s--- and it's over." Shocking! He can actually use the word "irony" in a sentence! But take note all you evangelical Bush-supporters who would never curse--I know many of you read my blawg, well, religiously. This, along with Cheney's famous "Go fuck yourself!" is a real indication of who your cherished and supposedly religious leaders are--their values are very different form yours. Of course, I don't have a problem with swearing or vulgarity, but what is really shocking is that president Bush is loudly smacking while chewing his food with his mouth open like some white trash cowboy at a barbeque. Quite a contrast between the grandeur of the St. Petersburg (I'm guessing) palace he's in. This is just one blooper outtake. Just imagine what the cultivated leaders of other countries are thinking every time they encounter this crashing boor face to face! He's really cemented our laughing stock of the universe status with that one. As if it needed cementing. I also can't believe that he could confidently announce what needs to be done to solve the Hezbollah/Israel crisis--have any of his international policies worked out? What a dunce!
THE ISLAND WHERE BOYS GROW UP TO BE GIRLS
By Laura Fraser
Marie Claire, December 2002
Not long before the plane from Hawaii to Samoa departs, the airport ladies' room is crowded. A dark-haired woman in a flowered blouse checks her makeup in the mirror. She's a beefy gal, with a tattooed armband and impressive biceps, which isn't unusual, Samoans tend to be big-boned. But as she deftly plucks a few hairs from her cheeks, I realize that "she" is a "he."
Startled, I trade glances with another woman in the mirror, who smiles knowingly. The she-male catches our interaction and does a little exaggerated primping for our benefit, and all the girls at the sinks giggle.
Five hours later, arriving in Pago Pago, American Samoa, I see more transvestites, not obvious drag queens, but men done up in everyday women's dress. When my cousin's nephew, Joe, picks me up, I ask him about them. (Mycousin is married to a Samoan, which gives me a closer glimpse of Samoan extended-family life than most palangi, or white people, get.) Joe uneasily explains that the transvestites are called 'fa'afafine,Ó meaning Òin the way of a woman, and are simply an accepted fact in Samoan society.
With their similar traditional dress, it's sometimes hard to tell Samoan men and women apartÑespecially when some women have big biceps encircled with tattooed armbands and some men have long, luxurious black hair. Samoans descend from people who were strong enough to paddle from island to island to survive, quick enough to escape rival tribes, and who fed on the starchy breadfruit and taro roots that grow everywhere on the islands. They're like tropical flowers--big, bright, and meaty, with a humid, amorphous sexuality.
Joe says that fa'afafine are treated as women and play the same roles in Samoan culture as "genetic" women--caretakers, teachers, Bible-school leaders. A long-standing myth about transvestites in the Polynesian islands has been that when families have too many boys and too few girls to do all the women's work, they appoint a younger boy to "be a girl." But Joe says that isn't quite right, or at least not anymore: No one appoints fa'afafine, they just grow up that way. They usually aren't discouragedÑnor are they considered homosexual, a taboo in Samoan culture. We can have fa'afafine singing in the church choir, and the preacher will turn a~round and preach how unGodly it is to begay," Joe explains.
But how can they not be gay? Whom do they sleep with? Judging from Joe's expression, I've asked too many questions. Wellk, when boys are young and first experimenting he falters, then says, You need to see Dr. Sele.
We drive to a boxy, modern school, and Joe introduces me to Dr. Vena Sele, dean of student services at American Samoa Community College. Dr. Sele is an imposing woman, conservatively dressed in a flowing pantsuit, with painted fingernails and delicate gold jewelry. She is every inch a middle-aged, churchgoing lady-- except that biologically, she's a man. And so is her pretty secretary.
"Fa'afafine are ladies," she says pointedly. "We're well-educated and highly respected."
Dr. Sele is justifiably defensive of Samoa's sexual reputation: The country has been misunderstood by anthropologists ever since Margaret Mead wrote about the supposed promiscuity on the islands in 1928. The few today who have studied fa'afafine say the only way to understand them is to leave aside cultural notions of what it means to be gay or even male and female. Samoa is a community-oriented society, with more focus on extended families and villages than individuals, says Jeannette Mageo, an anthropologist at Washington State University. So a person's gender is based more on his or her role in the society than on actual anatomy. "As long as you're playing the female role socially, and in sex, then you are as good as a woman," she says. So, if a Samoan man has sex with a fa'afafine, it's considered a heterosexual relationship.
One of the reasons fa'afafine have flourished, Mageo says, is that they're valued as entertainers. Before Christian missionaries arrived in Samoa circa 1830, men would hold ceremonies and give speeches while women performed Polynesian dancing and comedy shows for visitors. "As the night progressed, there would be a lot of dirty dancing and sexual joking," Mageo says. Once on the scene, missionaries ordered the women to cover their breasts and drove them from the stage. Transvestites subsequently replaced the women as the main entertainers, free to make sexual jokes in the Christian atmosphere of repression.
Today fa'afafine are, like women, treated with courtly respect-- except that men are more likely to banter and make bawdy jokes with them. And, for the most part, they're accepted as long as they dress modestly. But while they aren't discriminated against for being effeminate, Dr. Sele says, they do face the same glass ceilings at work and in villages as women. Fa'afafine who want to be business executives usually have to dress as men at work. Dr. Sele is one of the few fa'afafine who has reached a high position while living as a woman, a feat she attributes to her Ph.D. "My education counters any criticism," she says. "To be a fa'afafine, you have to be educated--it's our weapon."
READ MORE: WWW.LAURAFRASER.COM
MORE ON TRANSGENDERISM IN SAMOA IF YOU WANT SOME MOA: WWWSSHE.MURDOCH.EDU.AU
1929 SANDWICHES SONG
What a queen! This is nuts! Or as one YOUTUBE commenter put it, "Dude looks like he's been servin up those frankfurter sandwhiches all night long. Like right between his buns." Does anyone know who the singer is?YOUTUBE
RUPAUL ON DANCE-O-RAMA
DANCE-O-RAMA was created by a group of ecletic multi-media artists and personalities from Atlanta. Their goal was to confuse the average viewer by using the public airwaves to spread their brand of humor and blur the concept of what really was real.
When RuPaul moved to Atlanta in the early 80's he flipped on the tube and discovered a cable access program which rocked his world - DANCE-O-RAMA.
In this clip the teenaged RuPaul uses "I'm Losing It" by The Glass Family to teach the audience members how to do the TImothy Leary inspired dance "The Freakout!" Now work it, girls and boys ...and remember, the green acid is good. YOUTUBE
EULOGY TO JUNE ALLYSON
By a myspace buddy named Michael Loris:
Did you hear? June Allyson has left this world to be in that big diaper TV commercial in the sky. . .we'll miss her husky plum voice and her emphatic smile, standing in some kitchen, telling us all so joyously to "Get back into Life - with Depends" whilst full-well knowing that she herself needed a good changing from out of those soft but crinkly puff pants she was sporting . . . shooting commercial after commercial after commercial for several years, just wishing for once someone (preferably that young hot Hungarian cameraman who shot her in take after take whom she'd been eyeballing the mighty bulging package of for oh-so long) would lay her back on one of those solid oak kitchen islands she stood in front of when she said her famous line to incontinent America and undo her heavy load . . .she never got her wishes fulfilled. She was deprived of having her dreams come true . . . just think what a grand and glorious moment it would have been for June Allyson to have been seen on TV by millions of viewers, lain proudly, legs in air, all our eyes transfixed on her octagenarian buttocks as some stud wiped her gently, then tenderly, and only to have her spill forth those famous words which encouraged so many and filled so many senior citizens with hope. Sigh. Poor ol' Soggy Bottom will be sorely missed . . . sadly she'll never be able to get back into Life with Depends because she's . . . well, the poor dear is dead! And that's that.
THE AUTHOR'S MYSPACE PAGE: MYSPACE
CALLING ALL SLUTS!
Using Paris Hilton to Kim Cattrall as examples, the NY TIMES examines the changing meaning and origins of the word SLUT.NYTIMES
4 RELIGIOUS TRUTHS
As we struggle to understand the surge in violence in the middle east,it is important for those of all faiths to recognize these Four Religious Truths:
1. Muslims do not recognize Jews as God's chosen people
2. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
3. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian World.
4. Baptists do not recognize each other at Hooters.
THE DAILY DUMP
A new porn site!
"Finally, the guy next to me finishes, flushes and goes to wash his hands. Then, as he is leaving and the door is just about closed behind him, I not only let rip an enormous, resounding fart, but immediately following that I laugh and laugh and laugh – loudly – but I don’t care because I’m just standing at a urinal, peeing and farting and having a grand old time. I was one head rush away from screaming, “YOU CAN’T STOP ME! YOU CAN’T HOLD ME DOWN! U-S-A! U-S-A!” It was an euphoric moment . . ."
RAD THE REST: THEDAILYDUMP.COM
The Twink Code, version 1.12
Some people out here aren't satisfied with BearCode or SmurfCode. It doesn't speak to us. We're twinks, and damn proud of it. While bears live for hair and smurfs for humor, a twink lives for style. As such, style factors are the major way of recognizing a twink. Unlike bears and smurfs, a twink's style can't be rated by degree--to be a twink, one must have a good sense of style. The ideal twink knows what he can't wear, and how to wear what he can. The clothes make the twink.
Clothing is not exclusively the determining factor in a twink, though. The twink's crowning glory is his hair. Long or short, straight or wavy, it must be perfect. Hell is a lifetime of bad hair.
The main Twink identifier is a 4 part code comprised of:
T - Type of twink
C - Color of Hair
L - Length of Hair
and whether it's (s)traight, (w)avy, or (c)urly
T - Type of twink
1 - BeachTwink:
The beach twink is often a sun- bleached blonde, well tanned, and well defined. Sub-genres of beach twink are the VBall Twink and SurferTwink.
2 - NuevoWest Twink:
The old west was never quite like this. Colorful, sharp, and not nearly weathered enough, if cowboys were fashion slaves, they'd look like this.
3 - Rap Twink:
Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch have nothing on this twink. Urban fashion is raised to an art form by this delicious one.
4 - The All-American Twink:
Remember that quarterback you could never have in high school? This *is* him. Athletic, active, it's amazing how his hair stays in place.
5 - EuroTwink:
Think of Armani suits. Think of Italian convertibles. The finest European designers would love to have him on the runway.
6 - The Twink Next Door:
The boy next door never looked this good (well, mine never did). A suburban sensibility becomes a showcase for a gorgeous young guy.
7 - RadicalTwink:
This twink marches to the beat of a different drummer. He may be wearing full renaissance garb (Felix, where are you?). He may be more subtle than that. But there's definitely something strange there...
8 - GymTwink:
The GymTwink may attempt any of the above styles (and pull them off successfully) but it's always that drop-dead-gorgeous bod that's overshadowing everything else. Even in sack cloth (we're talking *really* radical 7 here) he'd look incredible. GymTwinks should include what style they're attempting in their code (i.e. T8(5))
9 - AppalachianTwink:
Jethro Bodine (of "Beverly Hilbillies" fame) was no Twink, but his style translates well. Overalls, with or without shoes and shirt (I like w/o shirt myself) are often characteristic.
10 - GrungeTwink:
"Kurt Cobain, is that you?" The ratty jeans are from Perry Ellis, the shirt is from Versace. It's amazing how stylish anti- style can be.
An excerpt from this "nutty" page, which covers everything, including:
g - gonads (balls)
huge and bursting with cream
large and cream filled
do you really want to let people know?
you may not have much but you have guts
READ MORE: ALT.MISSION.COM
Still, you don't wanna end up like these gals!
THE BOOFONT SISTERS
PUTTING THE "BOO" BACK IN BOOFONT!
On YOU'VE GOT TALENT: VEOH.COM
Starring Miss WIllie Ninja, Jose and Luis and the gone but not forgotten FIDEL FIELD! YOUTUBE
While fingering herself on Jay Leno: PORNOTUBE
DEAUNDRA PEEK SUPERMODELLIN'
WATCH THE CRAZY ASS BITCH HERE: YOUTUBE
Thanks to Guy for passing this along. NUTTY!YOUTUBE
Miss Understood sent me this one. Love the dancing while seated effect--the shape of things to come for Lady Bunion, perhaps? Speaking of shapes, I thought she was wearing a cape--but it's a drape over her swivel chair!YOUTUBE
ZSA ZSA HISSY FIT
Listen carefully at the beginning to the sounds of the car seats straining under her weight! Love it!YOUTUBE
FLA MAN BUSTED IN PUPPY ASSAULT
Caught in the woods screwing his puppy, this guy's response was "It's my dog...what's the problem?" He's kinda cute too. Too bad he only likes younger dogs.RHESMOKINGGUN
LOVE CONSPIRACY THEORIES?
Got lotsa time to waste?
Well, then the Franklin Coverup Scandal of 1994 will provide endless hours of googling pleasure. The best link is here
, but wikipedia and other sites verify the orphan child prositutes who were given "midnight tours" of the White House. The ensuing arrest included a congressman and a lobbyist/pimp. A documentary was made about the coverup and scheduled to air, but it disappeared from the TV stations's schedule to due pressure from bigwigs, who destroyed evey copy. Almost. Scoll own to see a photo of Bush dressed in drag in a college can-can line.
MOMMY, SHE'S BACK!
At the Helen Hayes Theater. Cheap seats for previews but these whore sell out!
LEONID THE MAGNIFICENT
From the TC show TALENT, with Brandy and Hasselhoff judging.VEOH
AN OLDIE BUT GOODIE
A tour bus driver is driving with a bus full of
seniors down a
highway when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little
She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he
up. After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his
again and she hands him another handful of peanuts.
She repeats this gesture about five more times.
When she is about to hand him another batch again, he
little old lady, " Why don't you eat the peanuts
"We can't chew them because we've no teeth", she
The puzzled driver asks, "Why do you buy them then?"
The old lady replied,
"We just love the chocolate around them."
UPSTATE A LITTLE TOO RELAXING?
Not any more! Check out The Lady Esther Gyn's monthly cabaret at Rive Gauche in Kingston, first Sunday of each month. This Sunday's guests: Duelling Bankheads! Along with regular cast members like the trashy cunt Esther, DJ Isis Vermouth, and myspace scandal and god warrior Shealita Baby
RIVE GAUCHE--WHAT A DUMP!
YOUR PUTIN ME ON!
Russia's president will answer questions during an online conference today and the question many are burning to ask the world leader>
"Aside from questions received from Russian draftees, over 11,000 people want Putin to explain his recent trick in the Kremlin when he spontaneously kissed a little boy Nikita in his stomach. Some 2,500 people want Putin to tell them at what age he started dating girls."PRAVDA.RU
SENT TO LADYBUNNY.NET
Hey I'm a boy performer right now but I would like to start being a drag
queen I did it back a few years ago, but I really don't think I did so good.
I had used my real hair then and I did not shave off my eye brows off. I
would just like to have some pointers and I I earned a title from the bar
stallions in Harrisburg. My title is Mr. Shimmer. But like I said I would
like to be come a drag queen and I would like to get the title Miss
Stallions. The Shimmer titles are for the undertakers. Me since I'm only 20
right now and I will be able to go for that title next year.
Well I look forward to your response.
Your Very Own Mr. Shimmer 2006
Demented Pyramid Club-era video by Tom Rubnitz, starring Sister Dimension as Grandpa Hoofpynpoiers (sp?). RuPaul in her blacked-out tooth Bianca Dinkins, the imaginary mayor's daughter, pre-Supermodel look. And golly gosh! I've only got one chin in the mid 80's! Thanks to friendlier999 for alerting me to this on YOUTUBE! PICKLESURPRISE
"Tom Rubnitz died in the early 90's, but fortunately he left some video gems for us all to aspire to. "Pickle Surprise" features some of my favorite Downtown performers inclduing the magical Sister Dimension, The Lady Bunny, Ru Paul, David Dalrymple, Lahoma Van Zandt and Maria Ayala. "
And let's not forget Tom's incredible painting of Carol Channing, which hangs in my home. She actually autographed the treasure when we worked together in Central Park at some forgotten fagfest! Not that I'd be luring burglars to my home. Well, maybe if they were well-hung burglars?
WHITNEY: MAMA'S LITTLE BABY
Whitney looks a little like more like her aunt Dionne Warwick in this cute film snort--uh, short:IFILM
AMY SEDARIS INTERVIEW
FROM THE ONION:
AVC: So you don't like the expectations that come with having to make something labeled as "comedy"?
AS: No. Anywhere in my life, I hate that. Like when people try and put me in a box too, it's like, "Well, I'm not an actress. What, you're going to put me and Jennifer Jason Keigh in the same scene and say I am an actress? I don't think so."
BUNNY NOTE: I saw this in the print version of The Onion and Leigh was spelled with a K, but they've corrected it online, or else fucked it up on purpose for the print version. GENIOUS!
MORE INTERVIEW: AVCLUB.COM
MORE NONSENSE FROM THE ONION: KENTUCKY 36 YEAR-OLD STILL HAS OCCASIONAL "LIDSVILLE" NIGHTMARES OF CHARLES NELSON REILLY, BELOW:THEONION
MUGLER MEETS ROSS!
BIGGEST DISCO DIANA WIG EVER!YOUTUBE
BELATED HAPPY 4TH!
Here's some patriotic images sent to me as greetings on myspace.com. God, those brats are corrupting me, not the other way around!
At first I thought this to be Star Baby, the legendary dwarf drag from Atlanta, who's been MIA for ears, but it's a great-looking gal from Oakland named HOLY MCGRAIL
An since the 4th is a bif family holiday, someone sent me this sweet cartoon:
WHERE IS HE NOW?
The star of MASTURBATION IS PERFECTLY NORMAL, I mean. YOUTUBE
GOOD, CLEAN FUN!
THE LAWRENCE WELK ORCHESTRA MEETS THE VELVET UNVDERGROUND:YOUTUBE
Finally! A website which has provided me with the spiritual guidance I needed to reconcile my addiction to getting fist-fucked nightly with Jesus. I mean reconciled with Jesus's teachings, you perverts! And why not? My "deep-seated" love of the Lord tells me that God made our hands, asses and cunts in his image. Why shouldn't all three, in his Grande Designe, accomodate each other with ease? Think it's a stretch? Where's your Faith, horny christians? Understand that you're in the Lord's hands while someone else's hand's in you. But maybe keep a little Anal-Eze on hand, just in case The Lord's busy answering someone else's cries of pain at the exact second you're about to pass out. Now there are many other sexual/biblical treatises on www.sexinchrist.com, too, so grab your bibles, lube up generously, and "poke" around to your farts' content!
FROM SEX IN CHRIST:
The sex act called fisting is a source of confusion and misconceptions for many Christians.
BUNNY NOTE: AND FOR SOME OF US "LAY" PEOPLE, AS WELL!
This is unfortunate, because it means that many Christian men and women are depriving themselves of what could be the most spiritual sexual experience of their lives. Like anal sex and BDSM, fisting is often mistakenly associated with the gay community or is considered a sex act too extreme to be appropriate for Christian couples. Not only are these views incorrect, but fisting actually has a scriptural precedent, as we will show.
THE FIST OF MIGHT
Over and over in the scriptures, the hand and fist of God are described as a symbol of His awesome power and the means through which this power manifists: "O God, God of our ancestors, are you not God in heaven above and ruler of all kingdoms below? You hold all power and might in your fist.” (2 Chronicles 20:6) Of course, the Old Testament often makes reference to God smiting his enemies with his fist or striking down the wicked with his hand, but it is also the means through which he administers his blessings and benevolence to the righteous: ”You open Your hand and satisfy the desire of every living thing.” (Psalms 145:16) Through the hand of the Lord, he guides us to do his will, touches our lives, expresses His love, and provides for our needs with His abundance.
BUNNY NOTE: AND DON'T FORGET LEVITICUS 17:6: And with thine delicate hand and salve of myrhh, The Lord cleareth away those pesky impacted gerbil skeletons, too-eth!
The biblical significance of the hand is important, because in the act of fisting, one partner (usually male) inserts his entire hand and fist into the vagina or rectum of his partner.
BUNNY NOTE: OR IN THE CASE OF MY DEEPLY RELIGIOUS HERMAPHRODITE UNCLE, BOTH THE RECTUM AND VAGINA GET SMITETH SIMULTANEOUSLY.
Rather than copulating with his penis, he penetrates her with his fist. Given the powerful symbolism of the fist, it is no surprise that couples who have partaken in the practice of fisting have described it as being a profoundly spiritual experience.
BUNNY NOTE: THIS HEIGHTENED SENSE OF SPIRITUALITY WOULD HAVE NOTHING TO DOETH WITH A COMBINATION OF POPPERS, CRYSTAL AND GHB.
On a symbolic and sexual level, a wife who is fisted by her husband has the experience of surrendering completely to the divine love and power of the Lord, as embodied by her partner’s hand. The husband in turn has the experience of touching and caressing her inwardly, in such a deep and intimate manner as God touches our own souls with His grace.
BUNNY NOTE: AND AFTERWARD, THE COUPLE MIGHT PRAISE HIM IN COMMUNION, AS THE BLOOD AND THE FECES REPLACETH THE WINE AND THE BREAD. DON'T LET ANYONE TELL YOU HOW TO WORSHIP THE LORD! HALLELUJAH!
READETH YE ON: SEXINCHRIST