TOP TEN TUNES IN TERRI'S IPOD
HUNGRY EYES by Eric Carmen
IF I ONLY HAD A BRAIN on Wizard of Oz Soundtrack
IF YOU COULD READ MY MIND by Gordon Lightfoot
DO YOU REALLY WANT TO HURT ME by Man George
KILLING ME SOFTLY by Roberta Flack
DON'T LEAVE ME THIS WAY by Thelma Houston
YOU JUST KEEP ME HANGIN' ON by The Supremes
I'M LEAVING IT ALL UP TO YOU by Donnie and Marie
RESCUE ME by Aretha--actually I think it's Martha and the Vandella's
IF TOMORROW NEVER COMES by Garth Brooks
and in honor of her parents, Gloria Gaynor's NEVER CAN SAY GOODBYE!
More on Terri's latest? Check out "her" blog at http://www.durrrrr.blogspot.com
Even though vegetable Terry Schiavo almost chased the poor thing off the headlines, did anyone catch the tale of Jetseta Gage, a "mentally-challenged" girl from Iowa who was found murdered at the hands of a registered sex-offender who was working on her family's car? Truly tragic. And that name! Is it really a good idea to name a retard something which sounds so close to Jet-setter? "Jetseta, you're drooling on your tits again." "Jetseta, you've shit your pants again". "No Jetseta, don't eat it!--again". Must have given folks quite a chuckle at the supermarket. And hardest of all to believe, she was white!
ANOTHER SEPARATED AT BIRTH!
From LA's tranny superstar Vida Deville:
SHOCKING NEW JACKO EVIDENCE
PROSECUTION'S EXHIBIT 1
13 REASONS NOT TO DRINK, EVEN WITH FRIENDS
DUH, I'M UH, PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN?
Michael Ventura – The Austin Chronicle March 3, 2005
No concept lies more firmly embedded in our national character than the notion that the USA is "No. 1," "the greatest." Our broadcast media are, in essence, continuous advertisements for the brand name "America Is No. 1." Any office seeker saying otherwise would be committing political suicide. In fact, anyone saying otherwise will be labeled "un-American." We're an "empire," ain't we? Sure we are. An empire without a manufacturing base. An empire that must borrow $2 billion a day from its competitors in order to function. Yet the delusion is ineradicable. We're No. 1. Well...this is the country you really live in:
The United States is 49th in the world in literacy (the New York Times, Dec. 12, 2004).
· The United States ranked 28th out of 40 countries in mathematical literacy (NYT, Dec. 12, 2004).
· Twenty percent of Americans think the sun orbits the earth. Seventeen percent believe the earth revolves around the sun once a day (The Week, Jan. 7, 2005).
· "The International Adult Literacy Survey...found that Americans with less than nine years of education 'score worse than virtually all of the other countries'" (Jeremy Rifkin's superbly documented book The European Dream: How Europe's Vision of the Future Is Quietly Eclipsing the American Dream, p.78).
· Our workers are so ignorant and lack so many basic skills that American businesses spend $30 billion a year on remedial training (NYT, Dec. 12, 2004). No wonder they relocate elsewhere!
· "The European Union leads the U.S. in...the number of science and engineering graduates; public research and development (R&D) expenditures; and new capital raised" (The European Dream, p.70).
· "Europe surpassed the United States in the mid-1990s as the largest producer of scientific literature" (The European Dream, p.70).
· Nevertheless, Congress cut funds to the National Science Foundation. The agency will issue 1,000 fewer research grants this year (NYT, Dec. 21, 2004).
· Foreign applications to U.S. grad schools declined 28 percent last year. Foreign student enrollment on all levels fell for the first time in three decades, but increased greatly in Europe and China. Last year Chinese grad-school graduates in the U.S. dropped 56 percent, Indians 51 percent, South Koreans 28 percent (NYT, Dec. 21, 2004). We're not the place to be anymore.
· The World Health Organization "ranked the countries of the world in terms of overall health performance, and the U.S. [was]...37th." In the fairness of health care, we're 54th. "The irony is that the United States spends more per capita for health care than any other nation in the world" (The European Dream, pp.79-80). Pay more, get lots, lots less.
· "The U.S. and South Africa are the only two developed countries in the world that do not provide health care for all their citizens" (The European Dream, p.80). Excuse me, but since when is South Africa a "developed" country? Anyway, that's the company we're keeping.
· Lack of health insurance coverage causes 18,000 unnecessary American deaths a year. (That's six times the number of people killed on 9/11.) (NYT, Jan. 12, 2005.)
· "U.S. childhood poverty now ranks 22nd, or second to last, among the developed nations. Only Mexico scores lower" (The European Dream, p.81). Been to Mexico lately? Does it look "developed" to you? Yet it's the only "developed" country to score lower in childhood poverty.
· Twelve million American families--more than 10 percent of all U.S. households--"continue to struggle, and not always successfully, to feed themselves." Families that "had members who actually went hungry at some point last year" numbered 3.9 million (NYT, Nov. 22, 2004).
· The United States is 41st in the world in infant mortality. Cuba scores higher (NYT, Jan. 12, 2005).
· Women are 70 percent more likely to die in childbirth in America than in Europe (NYT, Jan. 12, 2005).
· The leading cause of death of pregnant women in this country is murder (CNN, Dec. 14, 2004).
· "Of the 20 most developed countries in the world, the U.S. was dead last in the growth rate of total compensation to its workforce in the 1980s.... In the 1990s, the U.S. average compensation growth rate grew only slightly, at an annual rate of about 0.1 percent" (The European Dream, p.39). Yet Americans work longer hours per year than any other industrialized country, and get less vacation time.
· "Sixty-one of the 140 biggest companies on the Global Fortune 500 rankings are European, while only 50 are U.S. companies" (The European Dream, p.66). "In a recent survey of the world's 50 best companies, conducted by Global Finance, all but one were European" (The European Dream, p.69).
· "Fourteen of the 20 largest commercial banks in the world today are European.... In the chemical industry, the European company BASF is the world's leader, and three of the top six players are European. In engineering and construction, three of the top five companies are European.... The two others are Japanese. Not a single American engineering and construction company is included among the world's top nine competitors. In food and consumer products, Nestlé and Unilever, two European giants, rank first and second, respectively, in the world. In the food and drugstore retail trade, two European companies...are first and second, and European companies make up five of the top ten. Only four U.S. companies are on the list" (The European Dream, p.68).
· The United States has lost 1.3 million jobs to China in the last decade (CNN, Jan. 12, 2005).
· U.S. employers eliminated 1 million jobs in 2004 (The Week, Jan. 14, 2005).
· Three million six hundred thousand Americans ran out of unemployment insurance last year; 1.8 million--one in five--unemployed workers are jobless for more than six months (NYT, Jan. 9, 2005).
· Japan, China, Taiwan, and South Korea hold 40 percent of our government debt. (That's why we talk nice to them.) "By helping keep mortgage rates from rising, China has come to play an enormous and little-noticed role in sustaining the American housing boom" (NYT, Dec. 4, 2004). Read that twice. We owe our housing boom to China, because they want us to keep buying all that stuff they manufacture.
· Sometime in the next 10 years Brazil will probably pass the U.S. as the world's largest agricultural producer. Brazil is now the world's largest exporter of chickens, orange juice, sugar, coffee, and tobacco. Last year, Brazil passed the U.S. as the world's largest beef producer. (Hear that, you poor deluded cowboys?) As a result, while we bear record trade deficits, Brazil boasts a $30 billion trade surplus (NYT, Dec. 12, 2004).
· As of last June, the U.S. imported more food than it exported (NYT, Dec. 12, 2004).
· Bush: 62,027,582 votes. Kerry: 59,026,003 votes. Number of eligible voters who didn't show up: 79,279,000 (NYT, Dec. 26, 2004). That's more than a third. Way more. If more than a third of Iraqis don't show for their election, no country in the world will think that election legitimate.
· One-third of all U.S. children are born out of wedlock. One-half of all U.S. children will live in a one-parent house (CNN, Dec. 10, 2004).
· "Americans are now spending more money on gambling than on movies, videos, DVDs, music, and books combined" (The European Dream, p.28).
· "Nearly one out of four Americans [believe] that using violence to get what they want is acceptable" (The European Dream, p.32).
· Forty-three percent of Americans think torture is sometimes justified, according to a PEW Poll (Associated Press, Aug. 19, 2004).
· "Nearly 900,000 children were abused or neglected in 2002, the last year for which such data are available" (USA Today, Dec. 21, 2004).
· "The International Association of Chiefs of Police said that cuts by the [Bush] administration in federal aid to local police agencies have left the nation more vulnerable than ever" (USA Today, Nov. 17, 2004).
No. 1? In most important categories we're not even in the Top 10 anymore. Not even close.
The USA is "No. 1" in nothing but weaponry, consumer spending, debt, and delusion.
Reprinted from the Austin Chronicle.
I'M BIG IN ESTONIA!
A stoner in Estonia! A no-talent in Tallinn! "AND I AM TALINN YOU, I'M NOT GOIN'!" I can't believe that I actually performed in the capitol Talinn in February--at a straight club, no less! I'm not sure they understood all of my act (I'm not sure that any audience ever has!), but certain "sight-gags" (emphasis on the gag) like squirting breast-milk out of fake boobs to the tune of MILKSHAKE seemed to translate fairly well.
I had mentioned to the Martin Kala, the promoter, that I wanted to videotape myself in a peasant ensemble cycling around. Well, it was snowing so there was no cycling, but Martin actually arranged to borrow some traditional Russian and Estonian drag from their cultural institute and we did a retarded photo shoot--the photos below. The saddest effect was the 2-inch thick woollen stockings crammed into my Frederick's of Hollywood lucite pumps--so wrong! As if my feet need help looking bigger!
AND IN FRANCE!
Did this interview in Paris but can't understand a word. Parisians are so snooty! I had such a hard time ordering in restaurants. Would you believe that the waiters acted like I was out of mind every time I tried to order freedom fries, freedom toast, and even freedom onion soup!
to anyone who might have tuned in to WB's The Starlet to see Faye Dunaway at my recommendation. She's hardly in it and another plastic surgery victim Vivica A. Fox has more spunk than Faye. I imagined that she might have been saucier, but Faye seemed, in crooked granny glasses to match her crooked pumped-up liver-lips which don't close right, almost motherly and concerned even when dismissing the wanna-be bimbos. And her Donald Trump/Apprentice "you're fired" tag line was delivered weakly. At least the preview shows her working a teased up "do" for next week. But I'll pass. Faye, Vivica, and unknown fag in the middle, "Don't call us, and we definitely ain't gone call you!"
I GET HIGH WITH DJ DISCIPLE
I GET HIGH by DJ Disciple featuring Lady Bunny is now available in dj stores, with a a new mix by Dutch remixer DJ Roog aka Hardsoul, who gives the track a dubby, latin feel. The song is the first of 6 that I've signed with Disciple's Catch 22 Records, and it is the 1st thing that I've ever written and sang to ever be released. So I'm excited, also because VH1 licensed this track and another of my songs LET'S GET JUMPIN' (free download on this site--see player) for Big Gay 40, a round-up of the previous year's gayest moments, which will air sometime in June.
I have no idea how VH1 will use the song or how much of my interview they'll keep, but I at least hope they'll include my response to them asking me what I thought of Alexis Arquette's approaching sex-change: "Just what the Arquette family needs--another aging, out-of-work actress!" Tee-hee!smokingbunny.tif
GLADYS KRAVITZ RULES!
BEWITCHED was such a well-loved show that the upcoming remake starring Nicole Kidman is creating a quite a buzz. Elizabeth Montgomery as Samantha was bewitching, but the show was also known for it's brilliant character actors. I got this from a website where fans offer their suggestions on who should be cast as what: "What about Charles Nelson Riley for Doctor Bombay or Uncle Arthur, somebody from the Valhalla of witty Americans? I would rather see Dame Edna or Lipsynka (sick) as Endora than Shirley "It Twirled Up" Maclaine. Or Murray Hill as Doctor Bombay and Lady Bunny Bunny as Samantha. Ooh, or what about Ellen Degeneres or Alice Ghostly as Gladys Cravitz. Oh, no wait. I got it. Bea Arthur as Endora. It has to be Bea."
Actually, I would KILL to play Endora, as I'm sure Lypstinka would, but I'm sure Shirley will nail it, if they even retain any of the show's original magic. (I'm told the script isn't too faithful to the tv classic. Surprise, surprise.) But they did get one thing right. Amy Sedaris will play Gladys Cravitz! (Jackie Hoffman would have been amazing, too.) While web-surfing I found www.harpiesbizarre.com which is even more devoted to Bewitched than I am, detailing individual episodes. Here are some pix from "Gladys Moments".
ALICE PEARCE as the first Gladys:
SANDRA GOULD as the second:
And if you're really bored, there is a drag queen named Gladys Kravitz who hosts karaoke in DC and can be found at ww.gladyskravitz.com.
JUST IN TIME FOR EASTER!
A few new approaches to celebrating it:
From the bizzare http://savetoby.com/
Toby is the cutest little bunny on the planet. Unfortunately, he will DIE on June 30th, 2005 if you don’t help. I rescued him several months ago. I found him under my porch, soaking wet, injured from what appeared to be an attack from an alley cat. I took him in, thinking he had no chance to live from his injuries, but miraculously, he recovered. I have since spent several months nursing him to health. Toby is a fighter, that’s for sure.
Unfortunately, on June 30th, 2005, Toby will die. I am going to eat him. I am going to take Toby to a butcher to have him slaughter this cute bunny. I will then prepare Toby for a midsummer feast. I have several recipes under consideration, which can be seen, with some pretty graphic images, under the recipe section.
I don’t want to eat Toby, he is my friend, and he has always been the most loving, adorable pet. However, God as my witness, I will devour this little guy unless I receive 50,000$ USD into my account from donations or purchase of merchandise. You can help this poor, helpless bunny’s cause by making donations through my verified PayPal account by clicking on any of the Donate buttons on this site, or by purchasing merchandise at the Savetoby.com online store.
Simply Red has re-written one of his classic hits about me. Go to: http://www.rathergood.com/bunny_too_tight/
And there's even a Lady Bunny doll available. (Am I really that booger-y?--don't answer that!) at: www.angelfire.com/tx4/prettyboydesigns/
SEPARATED AT BIRTH?
Denzel's playing Brutus on Broadway in CAESAR. But don't you think he could do a decent Grace Jones impersonator? Talk about an acting challenge! That gal is magic and a great example of the saying "Black don't crack". (No crack cocaine pun intended!) Her PORTFOLIO album cover is probably one of the most exciting covers ever. I emceed for her appearance at Crobar this summer and she was, as always, incredible. Late, as always, but incredible. In a variety of Issey Miyake showstoppers (including one with a ribbed, molded corset on which she rubbed the mike in an insane take on the ol' country washboard routine), Grace still oozes magic onstage, and humor offstage. I was thrilled to share a limo back to her dressing room with Melba Moore (worship her!) in tow. I overheard Grace telling her manager "to keep the monitor levels up next time or", looking at me, "they'll be saying Grace is the only black woman on earth who can't sing!"
I heard an unreleased accapella of a song called STORM (sample lyrics: "Electrify me!" Magnify Me! I live for the rain.") on a DJ Freddie Turner mix cd. She's still got it!
DON'T MISS THE STARLET'S PREMIERE!
March 8th on WB at 8:00.
From the NY Times:
"The Starlet," a WB reality show that applies the "American Idol" formula to would-be Hollywood actresses, begins with a cautionary face: the masklike visage of Faye Dunaway, eyes pulled so tight and jaw so taut that she can show expression only through her voice. Luckily, it is still a fine instrument. When Ms. Dunaway eliminates a contestant in the climactic "You're fired" moment of each episode, she lets the timbre fall into a smoky, menacing whisper. "Don't call us," she says. "We'll call you."
CHECK OUT THE HOLY GHOST ENEMA FROM SHIRLEY Q. LIQUOR!
http://www.beliefnet.com/video/humor/benny_hinn/benny_hinn2_100.ram Televangelist Benny Hinn is threatening to sue the religious satire magazine The Door for the video clip it is distributing that shows Hinn's wife, Suzanne, preaching at their former church in Orlando, Florida. She says if you're a lifeless, blackslidden Christian, you need a "Holy Ghost enema... right up your rear end."
Uh, we'd like chapter and verse on that, please, ma'am.
Paste the link to watch the video clip: this one is a hoot and a half!
I look at footage of that dithering old pope shaking that ball on a stick in a ceremonial robe and think "Who's buying this crap?" Doesn't it seem like complete mumbo jumbo to you? I'm with Sinead O'Connor! Actually, with the OLD Sinead, who ripped the pope's photo on SNL--now SHE'S a catholic priest! Catholicism must use some very effective brainwashing techniques because this hogwash sticks with many catholics for life. Sometimes, like Madonna/Esther, they even find the religious imagery entertaining and make it part of their schtick. Well, at least until they switch to a trendier religion which lets you wear cute red strings on your wrist.
But the Vatican's mumbo jumbo isn't just nonsense, it can be life-threatening. Even in countries where AIDS infection is rampant, the Vatican opposes condom distribution. They even go one step further. Last year, Cardinal Alfonso Lopez Trujillo, president of the Vatican's Pontifical Coucil for the Family, told the BBC that condoms actually help spread AIDS. Look, worship however you want, but why in hell would you worship someone who lies? I guess the Vatican would rather have people die of AIDS than compromise their doctrines, kind of like how they'd rather defend child-molesting priests than do away with them, until mounting public concern forces them to confront the issue. So let's confront the liars!
Form Newsweek: "The World Health organization responded by calling the cardinal's statements 'incorrect' and 'dangerous'. AIDS killed a a record 3 million worldwide this year and infected 5 million more. With Catholics for a Free Choice declaring in it's (ABSTINENCE HAS A HIGH FAILURE RATE) ads that "cardinals fail more than condoms" and the catholic leadership claiming prophylactics spread AIDS, the lives of millions may depend on whom the faithful choose to believe."
In parts of Africa, men believe that the cure for AIDS is fucking a virgin girl, INCLUDING INFANTS! (Jeez! I'm a full-grown bottom and can barely take a big black dick!) Should a church really be adding to the dangerous falsehoods on this AIDS-stricken continent? Or any other continent, for that matter! Cuz let's not forget that born-again George Bush also pushes abstinence. It's time to hold these "world leaders", who care more about pushing their antiquated doctrines than our lives, fully accountable for their deadly positions on AIDS. Amen.
MORE LOVING CHRISTIANS POSTED THIS!
Posted on godhatesfags.com:
WBC to picket Judy Shepard - the Mother-from-Hell - filthy faggot Elton
John, smelly old has-been whore Elizabeth Taylor, et al., at the 4th Annual
Bear to Make a Difference dinner benefiting the Matthew Shepard Foundation -
7 p.m. Sat., Mar. 19, at Westin Tabor Center, 1672 Lawrence St.,
downtown Denver - in religious protest & warning: "God is not mocked!" God
Hates Fags! & Fag-Enablers! Ergo, God hates Matt Shepard and is tormenting
him with fire and brimstone in Hell even as we speak, his greedy mother,
Elton John, Elizabeth Taylor -- and all other fags and fag-enablers.
Matt Shepard has been in Hell for 6 years, 4 months, 19 days now - with
eternity left to go on his everlasting sentence: "Depart from me, ye cursed,
into everlasting fire, prepirred for the devil and his angels. 46, And these
shall go away into everlasting punishment.'' (Mat. 25:41,46). All the lucre
his greedy mother can suck out of his maggot-riddlcd carcass cannot buy Matt
a drop of water to cool his tongue (Lk. 16:24) or one day off his
everlasting sentence without possibility of appeal or parole or modification
of sentence. That's the only thing important for anybody to know about Matt
Shepard. Aside from that solemn fact, all else is trivial and fundamentally
irrelevant. That's the message Judy should be preaching.
She never had it so good! - raking in money from fags to recruit more young
people to lives of sin, shame, death, Hell. Like a vulture, feeding on the
carcass of her dead sodomite son. Matt is no hero. Trolling for perverted
sex in a cowboy bar in Wyoming at midnight is not the stuff of heroism -it's
the stuff of idiocy. When she joins Matt in Hell they will curse each other
bitterly as the ceaseless ages of eternity tramp and roll. Matt to Judy:
"You bitch! Why didn't you teach me the word of God?"
IT'S NOT EVEN SPRING AND GIRLS ALREADY HAVE THEIR BELLY BUTTONS OUT!
VERMIN MERMAN IS BACK!
Varla's headed to Joe's Pub on 3/26 & 26 at 9:30 pm for GIRL WITH A PEARL NECKLACE, An Act of Love. (I've performed this same act many times, but never on stage!) Varla's just back from the Sydney bathhouse--I mean Opera House--and this "publicity painting" is one of the sickest things I've ever seen! I'm not classy enough to id the artist whose famous painting she's biting. Are you?
FLOTILLA IS FINALLY A "STAR"
(click for photo)
Flotilla Debarge, the Empress of Large, has joined PETA to bitch-slap Star Jones, whose recent wedding (where even the bridesmaids wore fur) irked the animal rights group. Dan Matthews, their campaigns director, is wise to target Star, cuz everyone seems to hate her so much after her shameless plugging of her wedding freebies and (apparently) boring 'em on the red carpet at the Oscars. This campaign is gonna be huge! Star's lawyers were already sending warnings to PETA about the legal restrictions of the parody laws, but their wording seemed to indicate that they weren't sure that people couldn't tell the difference between the two big gals. And like Star, Flotilla wears Payless shoes--they are the only chain which stocks pumps up to size 13! But was Flo merely channeling Star when being diva-ish on the set of the shoot? Hmmm....
SOME SIRIUS-LY GOOD MUSIC
(From l-r me, Barbara Tucker, I can't remember huh name but I love huh, Joi Cardwell, Joe B of King Street, Ultra Nate, Kevin Hedges of Blaze, James "D-Train" Williams, Mel Cheren) photo: Stephanie Sacco
Last Friday, the stars of dance music were out in force at Sirius Radio's swanky Times Square headquarters to promote King Street Records release of KEEP HOPE ALIVE. Liquid Sounds Jeannie Hopper spun between live performances by Joi Cardwell, Ultra Nate (proving that pregnant women DO look radiant--and NO I'M NOT PREGNANT, if that's what you're thinking) and Miss Barbara Tucker, who sang the HOT new Dennis Ferrer's Future 3000 remix of her track from the album MOST PRECIOUS LOVE (surprisingly available on itunes normally paltry dance selection). Preview this track--it's amazing! It hits every note, it's a disco/funky house groove played with 80's synth sounds and it has an urgency that ensures it would fill any floor. And of course Barbara's voice is always major.
I co-hosted with James "D-Train" Williams who I'd met at the Disco Hall of Fame Award, where he turned it with a rendition of his 80's classic YOU'RE THE ONE FOR ME. He's a super-sweet guy and while we were hanging out in the dressing room, Martha Wash called (eating chocolate-covered strawberries before a gig in Charlotte, NC, okay?) on his cell and she and I chatted for a sec. The two of us performed together in Atlanta in December and right before she went on she asked to borrow a safety pin to secure something on her outfit. And of course, like any good drag, I HAD ONE! (Of course I didn't mention to her that the pin had been holding up my adult diaper!) It was an honor to lend it to that diva! Did you know she has a cute new track out called LIFT ME UP which was written by Linda Clifford?
I get carried away because soulful vocalists are my fav and the crew at the SIRIUS broadcast harken back to the day when the music coming from NYC ignited dancefloors all over the world. Please. Do you remember the first time you heard MAW/India's underground smash I CAN'T GET NO SLEEP? Or how about MAW/Barbara Tucker BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE? Earth-shattering! Or Blaze/Robert Owens IF YOU SHOULD NEED A FRIEND? Or the Baltimore posse cranking out hits like Ultra's REJOICING, SCANDAL, and IT'S OVER NOW or Crystal Waters GYPSY WOMAN and MAKIN' HAPPY? These people are superstars to me so it's a thrill for me to work with 'em. Actually, Wigstock was how I met many of these singers. I was so blown away by the club music in the late 80's/early 90's and I'd notice that much of the time, the whole crowd would be singing along to a track, and know it better than anything you'd they'd hear on the radio--if they even listened to the radio!--yet they'd have no idea who the artist was or what they looked like. It seems out of synch. And when the artists have an act as fab as Barbara Tucker's, who will sing, testify, dance and rip her wig off at the same time, I thought it needed to be seen. So, in order to do my part, I'd always steer a little bit away from Wigstock's rockish/Pyramid roots and showcase dance artists like Duane Harden, Jay (SWEAT) Williams, CeCe Penis-ton (the pier almost BROKE OFF when she sang FINALLY), India, Crystal Waters, Michelle Weeks, Inaya Day, Kristine W, Donna Giles and Paul Alexander. Even Vickie Sue Robinson TURNED THE BEAT AROUND! Oh, and Taana (HEARTBEAT) Gardner and Fonda (DEPUTY OF LOVE, OVER LIKE A FAT RAT) Rae!
Nowadays, many djs never play vocals and I don't get it! Well, all of these singers (along with Dawn Tallman, Arnold Jarvis and Byron Stingily) are featured on KEEP HOPE ALIVE, and they've all donated their fees (as well as Blaze's songwriting royalties) to benefit LIFEBEAT--so go get it now!
HARMONICA SUNBEAM SAVES SOCIAL SECURITY!
Drag Diva Harmonica Sunbeam is a hilarious entertainer but also has a social disease--I mean conscience! For more on this hag, check out www.harmonicasunbeam.com!
FWD: DOESN'T MATTER IF YOU ARE REPUBLICAN OR DEMOCRAT!
KEEP IT GOING!!!!
2008 Election Issue!!
GET A BILL STARTED TO PLACE ALL POLITICIANS ON SOC. SEC.
This must be an issue in "2006 & 2008". Please! Keep it going.
(This is worth reading. It is short and to the point.)
Perhaps we are asking the wrong questions during election years!!
Our Senators and Congresswomen do not pay into Social Security and, of course, they do not collect from it.
You see, Social Security benefits were not suitable for persons of their rare elevation in society.They felt they should have a special plan for themselves! So, many years ago they voted in their own
benefit plan.In more recent years, no congressperson has felt the need to change it. After all, it is a great plan.
For all practical purposes their plan works like this:
When they retire, they continue to draw the same pay until they die.
Except it may increase from time to time for cost of living adjustments..
For example, former Senator Byrd and Congressman White and their wives may expect to draw $7,800,000.00 (that's Seven Million, Eight-Hundred! Thousand Dollars), with their wives drawing $275,000.00 during the last years of their lives.
This is calculated on an average life span for each of those two Dignitaries. Younger Dignitaries who retire at an early age, will receive much more during the rest of their lives.
Their cost for this excellent plan is $0.00. NADA....ZILCH....
This little perk they voted for themselves is free to them. You and I pick up the tab for this plan. The funds for this fine retirement plan come directly from the General Funds;
"OUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK"!
From our own Social Security Plan, which you and I pay (or have paid) into,-every payday until we retire (which amount is matched by our employer)-w! e can expect to get an average of $1,000 per month after retirement.
Or, in other words, we would have to collect our average of $1,000 monthly benefits for 68 years and one (1) month to equal Senator! Bill Bradley's ! benefits!
Social Security could be very good if only one small change were made.
That change would be to:
Jerk the Golden Fleece Retirement Plan from under the Senators and Congressmen. Put them into the Social Security plan with the rest of us
then sit back.....
and watch how fast they would fix it.
If enough people receive this, maybe a seed of awareness will be planted and maybe good changes will evolve.
How many people can YOU send this to? Better yet.....
How many people WILL
you send this to??
CRAIG'S RETARDED LIST
Weirdo Wants to Pretend He's Retarded With You
Reply to: firstname.lastname@example.org
Date: 2005-03-01, 5:14PM EST
I want to pretend I'm a sexy retard named Rodney and you're the supervisor at my group home. You talk me into doing all kinds of nasty things because I don't know any better.
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
"Pretend" he's retarded? I don't think this one has to "pretend" he's a retard. And a SEXY retard? (Is there any other kind?) And why does he want to be called Rodney when his real name (RuPaul) is so much more retarded? Oh well, whatever turns ya on!
THE BEAST'S 50 MOST LOATHSOME PEOPLE
Bitter, intelligent and hilarious! Here's some awards which are actually entertaining! Check out http://www.buffalobeast.com. Here's a few examples of my fav's.
47. 50 Cent
Crimes: Sole credential for being a rapper, aside from his affiliation with Dr. Dre, is having been shot several times. Spent his first record company advance on crack to sell. Can barely talk, let alone rap. Represents the worst aspect of urban culture, its tendency to collapse in on itself in an orgy of mobsterism and self-destructive spending. Obnoxious tendency to pull out large wads of cash and wave them around in people’s faces (not a figure of speech).
Smoking Gun: Ugliest rapper to make it since Biggie.
Punishment: Getting his ass kicked by Will Smith.
40. Laura Bush
Crimes: Oh the first lady, what an inspiration she must be to android researchers everywhere. Smile, nod, smile, (look interested) nod, put on $50,000 dress, suck off the president and there you have a typical day for the first lady. Corporate yes-wives like her will hasten the coming of mandated burkas for American women. Actually looks related to George, which might explain their mongoloid children.
Smoking Gun: She married George Bush.
Punishment: Chugging a gallon of stem cells on Fear Factor.
24. Ronald Reagan
Crimes: The greatest monster in recent American history. Reagan’s excruciating sanctification during his agonizingly protracted funeral was enough to make anyone with knowledge of his true legacy blow up a radio tower. Newspaper columnists performed astonishing feats of selective memory in canonizing Reagan, disregarding any inconvenient evidence of supporting terrorism, ripping off taxpayers for outrageous defense programs, or introducing crack cocaine to America, because we need our heroes.
Smoking Gun: Responsible for telemarketing and infomercials.
Punishment: Reanimated and killed again.
Crimes: You gaze idly at the carnage around you, sigh, and go calmly back to your coffee and your People magazine. You can’t stop buying useless crap, though you’re drowning in a deepening pool of debt. You think you’re an activist because you bitch all day on the internet, but you reelect the same gangsters at a 99% rate. You consider yourself informed because you waste a significant portion of your life watching the same three news stories cycle over and over again on your gargantuan, aerodynamic television set while you eat processed food. You really thought everything would be okay if Kerry won. Not only do you believe in an invisible man who magically farted out the universe, you also excoriate and marginalize those who disagree. You have a poorer understanding of your country’s foreign policy history than a third world peasant, but you can’t wait to see what Julia Roberts will be wearing at the Oscars. You cheer as Ukrainians challenge an election based on exit poll data, but keep waiting around for someone else to fix your problems. You can’t think, you can’t organize and you won’t act. This is all your fault.
Smoking Gun: You’re fat.
Punishment: You’re soaking in it.
J-HO GETS IT RIGHT
From the second you hear that raggedy-ass horn sample, J-Lo's new video GET RIGHT does just what the title says. And when the beat kicks in mixing a clubbier 4/4 beat on the choruses, this track sizzles! I played this when dj'ing in Albuquerqe this past Saturday and the crowd went nuts! Both of them! (So glad that with smashes like CRAZY IN LOVE, HEY YA and this one, hip-hop/r&b is finally experimenting with some faster tempos! Remember how impossibly slow J-Lo's I'M GLAD and I'M REAL (BORING) cuts from the last album were?) Talk about back with a vengeance!
I know that people claim Jennifer can't sing and her voice is thin, but she often picks great songs like her recording debut single IF YOU HAD MY LOVE. GET RIGHT is so hook-y that I can't remember one word from the verse or bridge except "sign on the dotted line". Certainly nothing as memorable as LOVE DON'T COST A THING's line "what I want from you is not available in stores". But the chorus is worth waiting for. Sung with tons of back-ups to boost her vox, she doesn't even have many (or any?) ad-libs, and it's so wordy I can barely distinguish any lyrics except "get right" and "oh-oh-oh". But it's a party when that chorus hits!
Then the dance break starts and J does what she does best. No, not breaking up with her husband or being a demanding bitch, just shakin' that world-famous ass! I usually hate that stiff, stylized Janet Jackson/ Britney/ In Stync style of choreography, but somehow this seems fresh and the moves really bring the track to life, from the runway strut that kicks ushers in the first chorus to that wild kick in the break. Say whatcha want about the voice, this bitch can outdance most other female superstars. Beyonce is better nowadays, but for a while it always looked like she was counting in her head trying to remember the choreography and feeling like her heels were to high. (So J, I'm glad I was able to help you out with the dance lessons on this one--they are really paying off!)
One guaranteed way to make sure that no extras steal any of your fire? Play every part, from the bored go-go dancer who brings her daughter to work--now I do not approve of underage girls in clubs, but underage boys are to be greatly encouraged! Sh'mon! Hee hee!--to the jaded bartender in a short wig, to the who-knows-what in an afro wig with tragic make-up, to a nerdy girl in a really wrong blonde wig drinking heavily--hey wait a minute--that's my act! J-Lo even makes the hideous combination of too short parachute pants with a drawstring hem worn with boots work somehow.